2017-04-24 23:03
Crazy shit that happened when you were a kid thread>be me about 16>friend is 17, we hang out at his grandpas farm during summers>fish, ride bikes/quads, etc. good times>except fo… Read More
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4chan's Best Greentexts Blog
greentexted.blogspot.com
A collection of funny, sad & weird greentexts found on 4chan
2017-04-01 04:52
HEY GUYS!Its Azrael here from Greentexted! This is a message from our sponsors who have generously accepted our request to sponsor us! (This message was written by me and idrk what to say so… Read More
2017-03-22 18:15
Froggy Adventures Part 3: The Captain Hangs Up His CapeCaptain save a ho is a term used to describe someone who will try to "save" a girl from all her problems in exchange for sum fuk. Fello… Read More
2017-03-18 07:48
Froggy Adventures Part 2: So CloseFroggy here. This is the time that i bent myself over a table and fucked myself. Right up the ass. Enjoy my suffering, tadpoles, and learn from it.>be me… Read More
2017-03-16 21:54
Storytime /b/>be me in 7th grade>few friends, have reputation for being angry nerdy loser who cries>walking to bathroom during social studies>see qt3.14 emo girl, im talking full… Read More
2017-03-16 21:23
(hey, sorry to email you so late. or early? I'm just a 19 year old college student with nothing better to do than reminisce the good old days as his life becomes mundane and well-put togethe… Read More
2017-03-04 02:19
Well r9k Ive noticed there have not been a lot of good greentext, so Im going to get started with one of my own that Ive been dying to type up. Friends, this is the story of how I fell… Read More
2017-01-15 07:39
Got some feels for ya >be me few years back, 15 living with my dad ( just got close to him ((he wasn't always there when I was a kid but I moved in with him for about a year and half and… Read More
2016-10-14 19:23
>Trump wins the election>comes out to make his winning speech>he looks bored>as he gets to the mic he stands there for a second>all quiet>he begins to adjust the mic>a c… Read More
2016-10-13 02:47
>16 years old>Dumb as fuck kid who had no friends>By that point I made peace with the fact that I was just different>Started doing stuff to piss off normies like wearing Wrath, N… Read More
2016-10-13 02:32
>be me>21 year old beta male in 2169>new great depression>shortage of food everywhere>everyone is hungry>go to food bank>wait in 4 hour line>see qt3.14159265359 at th… Read More
2016-10-13 02:29
>be me >in the car with gf, her mom, and grandma>be "birding" or some shit >literally driving around looking at birds>boring as fuck but gf 7/10 so yeah> in back… Read More
2016-10-13 02:27
Hi guys this is my first greentext. I've been wanting to do one for a while but never have until now>be me>be 17 as well as a pretty Mello chill mega beta guy>last every relationshi… Read More
2016-09-23 23:20
CHAPTER 1 EARTH. >The age be 20. >I love farquadd sooo much faquuad is love faquuad is life> I live in a apartment it has a bathroom living room kitchen and bedroom … Read More
2016-09-20 02:27
>be me>16 year old 7/10> just got out of relationship>5/10 friend is flirting with me>friends ex gf>he's over her now>flirting a bit more>w/e we've been friends for y… Read More
2016-09-20 02:03
>be me, amerifag>interning overseas in Austria uni for the summer>everybody so inviting, women throwing themselves at me for the first time in my life>SkeetSkeet.mov>no idea w… Read More
2016-09-20 01:59
>Be me,otherwise who the fuck else>be 26>work at mechanic>have a crush on girl that go to my university>one day she come to my office>her whole front is destroyed and a bit… Read More
2016-09-10 22:00
>Be me> 16 year old 7/10 faggit> Somehow get 8/10 qt3.14>date for 4 months> ask for anal> Tfw She says yes>Tfw she wants to do it in public>Being beta AF I agree>… Read More
2016-09-10 21:59
>live in apartment>neighbors below are assbags>constantly banging on shit and just letting their dog bark all day in between their loud ass fights>they also fucking toke up to 5… Read More
2016-09-04 23:41
Hey guys, Nate here! I am aware the amount of posts has declined and I would like you to know I AM TRYING! I am trying my best to get QUALITY posts as soon as possible to you guys but becaus… Read More
2016-08-14 01:43
>be me, 2012>Sophmore Year>about halfway through the semester, been building up a crush with this 8/10 chick>she barely knows me>probably the most beta kid in the school, i wa… Read More
2016-08-14 01:34
>be me>be 21>test lasers for a living, doing well>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years>hell froze over idk>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape&g&hell…Read More
2016-08-14 01:27
Hey guys, ive been a long time lurker but this is my first greentext, hope you enjoy and please ignore the mistakes etc...>Be me 15 years old>Summer vacation so parents talk in the kit… Read More
2016-08-14 01:26
South African Stories:>be me >white South African>fam been here since 1600's>be hungover on a sunday morning>look out of kitchen window and see naked native spread eagled… Read More
2016-08-12 07:09
>In 6th grade >We have to write a fucking book report on whichever book we want >my family is poor >can't afford booksand nobody reads >too scared to go to the library… Read More
2016-08-04 06:24
>be rne>get invited to party>sure. why not>arrive>everyone is drunk already>tripping over and shit>decide to stay for a while>half hour later>don't drink any booze… Read More
2016-08-04 05:15
>be me >autistic 17 year old faggot >go over to black friend's house >his also black mom is hot as fuck >we play vidya for a little while >he has to go pick his little brot… Read More
2016-08-02 07:35
>be me >be 21>test lasers for a living, doing well>recently broken up with slutbag gf after 2 years>hell froze over idk>gave me an excuse to workout and get in great shape… Read More
2016-07-29 04:01
> be me loving my waifu for more than a year now> lots of memorabilia: pillow, framed posters, snow globe, coffee mug, the works> very sensitive when someone touches anything a… Read More
2016-07-27 05:06
>be me>15>messing around>playing some pool/billiards with cousin>female>3 years older than me>she knew I checked out her body >she purposely posed flirtatiously… Read More
2016-07-25 09:54
>be me>be 17>hanging out with a friend of mine>we'll call him adam>me and adam just got blazed after 3 hits from some good weed>shits fucking loud>we're sitting there wa… Read More
2016-07-25 09:49
>Meet a tall, reserved, artsy girl>Somehow manage to really hit it off with her>Eventually set up a date, she agrees>It was awesome, don't even really care about other girls at t… Read More
2016-07-25 09:46
Pls niu hate am russyan lul >Be me >26,live alone,sometimes mah sister come to stay after a break up >solid 7/10,never feel'd anything for her >don't feel qui… Read More
2016-07-22 22:52
Things to note before reading:> The author of this post is NOT Jay or as you know him "Green text man".> I am not an owner of this site, I am just an author to help publish storie… Read More
2016-07-11 14:00
When I started uploading greentexts to this site back in 2013 I could choose from plenty of funny and high quality stories that were posted on 4chan every day. In fact on some days there wer… Read More
2016-07-11 06:55
>be me >16 at the time >currently laying in bed >just smoked weed >feelsgood.jpg >get horny so I turn on my phone and start masturbating >try to be quiet because my sist… Read More
2016-07-09 07:16
>Have close group of around 5 friends >All is great, live with friends for while at uni, all nerds, all enjoying life, golden fucking times. >Especially my MTGbro, skinny little dud… Read More
2016-07-08 07:13
>be on facebook doing some stuff >a good 6/10 who I don't remember adding messages me >I respond back, 'cause what could go wrong? >everything goes wrong >We end up talking fo… Read More
2016-07-07 07:11
Fucked up stories from your life. Here we go. >be me, 16 yr old flirty fuck >Hanging at a my friends house with her and her friend for a few hours because why not >dad says he wants… Read More
2016-07-06 07:07
All right /b/, this is my tale of how I pranked the school aspie and got away with it. >be me >be 10 years old >unfortunately in sped because I'm not good with people. >It's the… Read More
2016-07-05 07:04
>be me. >go on a stroll, headphones full volume, nothing spaciel. >go in nerrow ally. >in comes some fat foreigner lady, walking some dog. >dog itself is a fucking beast, no n… Read More
2016-07-05 07:00
>Get invited to a birthday party with some normalfag "friends" from college >Stacies taunt me all evening by looking at me and then giggling when I look at them >Pull out my phone a… Read More
2016-07-05 06:57
HOLY FUCKSorry for poor English > finally get qt virgin gf, prude but pleasant and motivated personality > date for several months, introduced to her mother > pic somewhat related… Read More
2016-07-02 06:52
>be me >be 21 >be fresh in the military so weekend is always escalading >drinking with best friend >drinking hard, hitting one bar after another >some friends show up with… Read More
2016-07-01 06:50
>get invited to a party of some friend >"dude here is a ton of chicks here, you should finally get to know someone man" >alright, shower, dress up, lock down inner sperg >arrive… Read More
2016-06-29 10:11
Alright guys, this is something that I'll never forget. This just happened to me. >be me, collegefag >get woken up at 5am to my elderly neighbor, Ned, (not real name) yelling "some one… Read More
2016-06-28 09:55
>grow up with single mom >she's a 10/10 >constantly fap to her but never have the courage to sneak a peak or anything >be 22 still living at home >she gets married to a rich o… Read More
2016-06-27 09:45
>2 years ago >get introduced to a girl by a friend over the internet >eventually become best friends with her >we start dating >she's a teen at the time and there's a long dis… Read More
2016-06-25 09:39
>Staying with friend in Europe >Both of us at pub drinking pints >He decides to head back to his apartment >I tell him I'll catch up with him in an hour >Actually really horny… Read More
2016-06-24 09:36
>waiting at bus station after long day >suddenly from my left comes Chad on his bicycle, on his way to fuck my oneitis no doubt >Chad: "oh 'sup dude?" >"good, you?" >"yeah, um… Read More
2016-06-23 09:31
greentext/story time english is not my native language so please bare with me >after several months of no gf, decide to buy a fleshlight online >i talk about it to my close friend as k… Read More
2016-06-22 09:29
>be me >22 year old >living off of inheritance money >no family >broke up with 3 year long relationship with high school sweetheart >things were getting rocky >time to… Read More
2016-06-21 09:22
> >about a year ago> >have group of friends who play destiny > >girl who is friends with a friend starts playing with us > >plays more and more > >hate girls wh… Read More
2016-06-21 09:13
Drug stories thread Alright niggers, heres the story of my first time tripping on morning glory seeds. Its not pre-typed so if you want it keep the thread alive. >Be me once upon a time … Read More
2016-06-20 09:15
>Wake up at 9pm after a particularly exhausting Minecraft session >tummy is making hungry noises >navigate my way out of my room through the piles of weewee jugs and trash >make… Read More
2016-06-18 09:16
Post humiliating stories that you were a part off. I'll start>20 >a manlet >get a date through my mom >talk to her over text's >think she's fat >finaly on the day of the d… Read More
2016-06-17 09:07
>Cocktail waitress at work staring at me all day >Never acknowledge her, don't notice her openly >She starts trying to get my attention, being really friendly, trying to "startle" m… Read More
2016-06-16 09:10
>be me again >be 19 again >be with Steve and Jimbo again >be in Jimbo's apartment >Jimbo just had a falling out with his girlfriend > a few days earlier we purchased 4 tabs… Read More
2016-06-16 09:02
Hi robots, I'm gonna tell you story about how fucking heartless chads are. This is a true story and I swear there is no exaggeration whatsoever in it. >be a simple guy, 5'9 Manlet, KV, fi… Read More
2016-06-16 06:50
>Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before i was born >Growing up I feel like there was alw… Read More
2016-06-15 06:45
>be kindergarten teacher in China >mostly fun and rewarding job but some children are spoiled little shits. >one in particular has little emperor syndrome. Bites other teachers, thr… Read More
2016-06-14 06:35
>be me >minding my own business whacking my dick off in front of the computer as normal >parents yelling in kitchen >few minutes go by >footsteps approaching >oh my god no… Read More
2016-06-12 06:40
>Homecoming >Teacher puts me on the roster for applicable students >See list in Homeroom, nearly pass out >Hear everyone in front of the class whispering my name >Walk out, te… Read More
2016-06-11 07:13
>Be me >19 yo kissless virgin >work at Papa Murphy's >shit job, good pay >pretty much jack off whenever i fucking can >probably beat my dick a good 20 times a day, not fuck… Read More
2016-06-10 07:09
>2025 >be 30 year old virgin >finally get qt 7/10 gf >go to the department of rape prevention >Fathima behind the counter asks me if I need a consent form >i reply with a y… Read More
2016-06-09 07:07
not really rejection but still hit as hard >be me, 13 >play a metric fuckton of halo >play halo 3 once it comes out >made a couple of good friends through xbox live, 3 of which I… Read More
2016-06-08 07:06
only 2 women on earth have ever seen my penis and both of them cried because of it >slutty asian grill has a fixation with me >she's really cute, thick booty and huge perky tits >im… Read More
2016-06-08 06:59
> be 2006 >make friend, we'll call him Rick >Rick becomes best friend >Feel sorry for Rick because poor and parents died when he was young >We hang out, go to clubs and pick u… Read More
2016-06-07 07:02
my grandfather Has had some trouble recently with dementia and Alzheimer's, and I would really want to tell you guys about his recent behavior My grandpa is my hero, he was in ww2, raised t… Read More
2016-06-07 06:53
> Be 12 > Single mom, just us in the house > She makes us go to church every sunday > One time hear that Sally couldn't go to church one day because she was getting period cramps… Read More
2016-06-04 08:49
I've got few stories about a tard from my school .Hope you'll like them! (Its him on the picture)>One day before PE at the changing room whole class is chillin>Jacob as a tard he is he… Read More
2016-06-04 06:49
Friday is the day /b/ I'm going to end someone's life > Be me > Be 7 > Parents leave me behind in The Netherlands > Live life in institutes with retarded children who have behavi… Read More
2016-06-02 08:44
>be me >13 at the time >no friends total nerd >run home everyday to go on video game chat rooms >meet online group >small group 2 dudes 1 chick >make friends with group… Read More
2016-06-02 06:41
Help me out here /b/ >last monday >still easter holiday in my country >got drunk as usual on holiday >came back home >sister is drunk >sis was adopted when I was a kid btw… Read More
2016-06-01 08:32
>Be me>Become social, love my friends of my old school>"I am going to have a party at my house with all my friends">Send invitations >Get sick a week before>Fucking virus m… Read More
2016-06-01 08:32
>Be me>Become social, love my friends of my old school>"I am going to have a party at my house with all my friends">Send invitations >Get sick a week before>Fucking virus m… Read More
2016-05-31 08:41
>Be me.>chilling at home just got watching some pron.>decide to browse showbox.>see the new movie huntsmen is out decide to watch it.>particular scene comes up when huntsmen a… Read More
2016-05-31 08:30
>be me 15>go to high school with great medical program>school is split into halves, one for the Magnet (Advanced Students) and the other for the deadweight.>be in all Magnet clas… Read More
2016-05-31 06:29
>be me >27 >live at home with mom >she has a party and invites our friends and families >big pot luck but all I want is chicken tendies >go to freezer pull out tendies >… Read More
2016-05-28 12:49
Former beta orbiter here Let me tell you that logic doesn't really come into it when you orbit. You have nothing in life so the fact a girl LETS you hang around her is enough for you to thin… Read More
2016-05-27 12:46
I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF KILLING MYSELF BUT I THINK THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW >been saving money for months to get an escort I want >finally save up the $400 >call and set up an app… Read More
2016-05-27 12:43
>Date fat chick on lovoo (German equivalent to tinder) >First date. Talk much to her. She's pretty shy >End up french kissing and holding hands >Second date at my home, she never… Read More
2016-05-26 12:39
Uh /b/ what do I do? >Be today working >Am an exterminator tech >Working on a house tarping it and what not >Take a break for a minute >Then a car pulls up and out comes… Read More
2016-05-25 12:35
>in spare room with no clothes >hear oldest brother and 6 friends show up (he doesn't even live here) >I don't think he knows I'm here >they're all out in main room talkin about… Read More
2016-05-24 12:32
I'm a girl and I love to tease >once i had a bf and we went out for dinner >when i got to his place i got on his bed on my belly, writing a quick text to my mom >he was a certified… Read More
2016-05-24 12:30
This was my night last night. >be in Toronto, Canada >Go out to the bars with a couple of my friends. We bought some tallboys and pounded them in a park first. >go to a couple bar… Read More
2016-05-23 12:25
>5th birthday>parents took the day off work to spend time with me because I rarely saw either of them>get home really excited to spend time with them>dad speeds past me as I'm wa… Read More
2016-05-21 12:14
Well, I've reached a new autistic low >be me >4/10 >see qt3.14 working in local shop >8.5/10 >never pluck up the courage to ask her >finally grow some balls >yesterda… Read More
2016-05-20 12:23
>be 15 >2 months before 16th birthday >Someone gives my dad a full grown German Shepherd, Probably 2 years old. >Dad brings him home and gifts him to me >name him Sarge, becau… Read More
2016-05-19 12:20
>be 20 >be on a farm in france as an intern >boss has daugter that's 18 >has hired a lesbian that's 20 too >we three have a REALLY good time, get close friends >sleeping op… Read More
2016-05-18 11:00
Worst jobs thread. >be 17, first job as a dish washer and a waiter >the boss is a daughter of a rich man, it's her 3rd restaurant, as 2 previous she failed, so he gave her money for th… Read More
2016-05-17 13:08
I did it once. Was headed to an out-of-area place for three days, wanted to get some pussy. >Gril messages me >Tells me 'I'm too cute for CL >Wouldn't like a big gurl like her' >… Read More
2016-05-17 13:05
>16 yr old >start job with friend at stationary shop >staff treat friend like son they never had >staff treat anon like son they never wanted >get put upstairs in small room … Read More
2016-05-16 13:01
>be me >17 >in physics class doing some shit with balloons in hallway >Lab partners are edgelords >I've known them since 5th grade >think they're cool >edgelords are lou… Read More
2016-05-14 12:29
>be me >flight from Paris to Bangkok >Stops at doha >Get off the plane, people take the bus >Step aside because this airport is weird / nice and take a few pictures. >all t… Read More
2016-05-13 12:15
>Me and my friend have been going to the same school for years and since we were young, we always pooped at the same time during school. >This has continued for years. >About a year… Read More
2016-05-13 08:01
>be me >work in office, sales >good friend who sits across from me moves back to Europe >myfeelings.jpg >for first few months it’s just me >boss tries to hire a repla… Read More
2016-05-12 12:23
>16 >gym class ends >in locker room >halfway through changing have to shit >walk to bathroom which is connected to locker room in my boxers and nothing else >shit and retur… Read More
2016-05-12 07:38
I'm writing this because I ain't got no-one else to vent to. Here's the set-up: >Live with mom >Divorced, I have two sisters which both live on their own >Not tight, but we care for… Read More
2016-05-11 12:08
>be me, 5 months ago >went to visit my gf after school >arrived to the subway station >30yo woman waiting at the station >7/10, really small shorts, nice butt, open shoes, tan… Read More
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