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Bye dad

Got some feels for ya
>be me few years back, 15 living with my dad ( just got close to him ((he wasn't always there when I was a kid but I moved in with him for about a year and half and we became best friends )))
>girl friend moves to Houston Tx. ( which is 8 hours away )
>tells me one day that I can go but I have to take a bus, I tell my dad and he jumps at the opportunity to send me to Houston.
>within an hour of her telling me my dad bought a ticket (he over paid due it being last minute ) and had my things packed (we didn't tell anyone not even my mom. We weren't on speaking terms back then )and we were waiting for the bus to pick me up from station.
>we talk like normal although looking back at it something seemed off
>bus arrives and I get on, he gives me a really big hug and says " I'll see you when you get back, I love you "
>FF a week Father's Day
>call him tell him how everything is going and that I'm having a great time and if I could stay another week.
>he agrees and says " stay as long as they let you don't ever forget I love you "
>kinda odd but whatever having to much fun
>next morning something felt off so I called and txted my dad
>no answer
>start getting tons of calls out of no where don't recognize numbers so ignore
>start getting worried so I call him again and still no answer
>girlfriend walks in crying her eyes out.
>turns out my dad shot himself in the head
>I'm fucking 8hrs from home no one knew where I was and my dad had killed himself.
> I keep replaying what he said to me before I left " I'll see you when you get back "
>he planed out me leaving so that when he killed himself I wouldn't have to see him.
>still fucking tears me up inside how he thought that out.
> FF present I still sometimes have the urges to call him and ask how he's doing or if he wants to grab lunch like we used to
>realize he's gone and that I'll never see or talk to him again
>Fuck you dad I miss you

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