Tim prepares to watch "the big game" with the boys, but Jill deflates his enthusiasm by telling him they are going out for a romantic dinner and he's not weaseling out of it. Jill can't get a hold of any of their regular babysitters so she ends up hiring this weird magician with a phony-sounding British accent instead.
At the fancy restaurant, Jill goes to the ladies' room. While she's away from the table, Tim plugs an earphone into a transistor radio so he can listen to the game. Jill gets wise when Tim appears to get a little too excited over the menu options. (Seriously, endive souffle with mushrooms? Who eats that?) Jill finds the radio and gets mad
Back at the Taylor house, the boys are tying the magician with chains and a straight jacket. He climbs into the Trunk and instructs the boys to lock it. He's supposed to escape from the trunk and magically appear at the front door but the trick flops.
Jill accuses Tim of being a "sports addict." A guy at the next table abandons his wife to watch the game in the kitchen with the staff. Jill says she wants to talk about "us". You know, the exact kind of conversation a dude is willing to have on game day. Tim suggests a monster truck rally (really bro?) and Jill says she wants to try ballroom dancing.
Tim is increasingly distracted by the cheering from the kitchen and gets a goofy look on his face. Jill finally gives up and lets him go watch the game. (This is one of those moments where I'm happy I'm not watching Everybody Loves Raymond.)
At home, the magician-turned-babysitter is still stuck in the trunk. The boys hatch a plan to hoist the trunk up and drop it so it will break open. Tim and Jill arrive in time to prevent a total catastrophe.
Tim says it may be difficult to free the man because the trunk has "reinforced polycarbonate butt hinges."
Jill calls the man's son to come with the extra set of keys. On the other side of the fence, Wilson is mending the bellows on his accordion. Tim tells Wilson what happened at the restaurant. He says he loves Jill more than anything but is obsessed with football. His excitement borders on homoerotic. I think that's why football exists.
Wilson says football is a catharsis for Tim, an emotional release. Tim is annoyed Jill doesn't understand that but Wilson says there are probably things that Tim doesn't understand about her. Like shoes and haircuts. Of course shoes and haircuts. Wilson explains that they don't have to understand everything about each other, and concludes with a quote: "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance."
Tim apologizes to Jill and promises to watch less football. Tim and Jill dance in the yard to Wilson's accordion music while the magician sings along.
The ending is cute and Wilson's advice is pretty sage. The best part of the episode, which in many ways is also the best part of the series, is the relationship between Tim and Jill. Jill is disappointed but not shrill. Tim fucks up but isn't a complete dolt. In the end, they work it out like rational adults. More shows should follow that example.
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