So we’ve established that going into the New Year it’s a time to Set Goals. We’ve established how to set goals (see Goals). I have also established that life is a constantly changing around us (see Cycle of Change). But what I haven’t said is that in order to achieve your dreams and goals you need to reflect on what you can change within yourself.
So you can’t control outside influences, but you can control how you respond to them. Remember nobody can make you feel a certain way (say angry) unless you give them the power to. Once you give them the power then you lose the internal choice to decide how to respond to situations. So don’t give people the power. Toxic people who are trying to get an arise often have problems they need to address themselves. Recognize that and instead graciously, and silently, laugh and brush off the situation.
Anger is the most obvious emotion, but it goes for any of them. Fear, sadness, and even feeling insecure. Nobody can decide how to make you feel about yourself, except you. You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. It’s all a choice.
In order to make that choice, you have to start being aware of your internal thoughts. What do you say to yourself when nobody is listening? Think about it. Do you beat yourself up? Do you egg yourself on to be angry? Do you convince yourself you are right in being angry and that it’s another person’s fault you are angry? No. It’s not. Yes, they may be wrong in their actions. That’s not what I am saying.
If you get nothing else from this remember forgiveness is for YOU not for the other person.
Once you do that you release the power they hold over you. I’ll get into that topic in another post in the next week-so stay tuned. How to forgive when it hurts.
So what does all this have to do with reflection and goals? Simple. If you want to move forward you have to look back. Each year in school to progress to the next grade you built upon the skills you already learned. Why did that model stop when you graduated? It shouldn’t. So look at what you did the past year. What did you do great. What could you have handled better? What will you handle different? Then do it. Next time a situation arises when you can try it-do. And if it feels uncomfortable not to get mad at someone when you think they deserve it then you know it’s working.
Guys change it’s suppose to feel uncomfortable. That’s when you know it’s working.
Live Today Create Tomorrow
(Photo Credit to Myself)