I’m wondering if I have subdrop? The last few times I’ve played, I end up feeling like crap the next day. I love the play, especially at events, but the next day it’s like I’m depressed. I just want to lay around and do nothing. What can I do to make it go away? I’m wondering if I should just stop playing entirely.
– Down and Out
DAO: When you play, your body releases tons of chemicals to help you deal with what it sees as trauma. In particular, you experience a massive endorphin rush, as well as more than a little adrenalin. The high that many submissives experience during play is called subspace. It’s wonderful and amazing, and I wish upon everyone.
The other side of subspace is subdrop. It’s your body recovering from the night before. In a way, it’s kind of a like a hangover, but the depths of subdrop can be scary. Especially if you don’t have a committed partner to give you an emotional boost.
I get subdrop intermittently. The more intense the scene, then the more likely it is to strike. Actually, it’s probably there every time, but it’s usually less (or not) noticeable.
Being alone, feeling depressed and lethargic, can leave you feeling absolutely horrible about the world and about yourself. I don’t know of any subdrop suicides first hand, but I wouldn’t be shocked if they’ve happened. That said, I don’t think you need to stop playing.
You may never be able to avoid or eliminate subdrop altogether, but there are a number of ways you can manage it better and minimize it’s impact on you.
First, make sure that anyone you play with knows that you experience subdrop. A responsible top, even someone at a party, ideally will want to check in with you the next day. Just a text, an email or a phone call can make a huge difference.
Second, if most of your play is at events, then you likely aren’t getting adequate aftercare. Submissives need to feel cared for after taking a beating. We need to feel a human connection. Being held and told that we did great and feeling loved (even if it’s in passing) in the minutes after a scene can make a huge difference. Different subs need different amounts of aftercare. The only way to learn what you need comes through practice and experience. But no aftercare at all, even just a hug, can leave you feeling worthless.
Third, build your own support network. Make friends and find someone you can talk to when you are feeling subdrop – or just shitty any other time. Isolation makes recovery worse after play.
Fourth, eat something immediately after play. Most will recommend sugary foods to help your body physically rebound from play. Downing a cookie, a brownie or a scoop of ice cream should be part of your play routine. Don’t forget to hydrate too. Water is always good for you.
Fifth, take care of yourself. A lot of newbies just don’t get the highs and lows, so they blame themselves. Trust me, you’re not doing it wrong. You just need a little time and a little love.
Finally, make plans for the next day and get the hell out of the house. Meet someone for breakfast or lunch, go to a museum, take a walk. It doesn’t matter what it is, but an occupied mind can’t focus on negative thoughts. It won’t be your best ever, but being around people sucks the shit out of depression.
Subdrop sucks. Period. But the more you can do to bolster your resources ahead of time, the easier it will get. Seeing it for what it is and planning for it will make a tremendous difference for you.
Send your question for Franklin by clicking here. Franklin is a lifestyle submissive who loves to share his knowledge and experience with others.
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