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Going Against Himself

Hey travelers this is going to be a big one. I was talking to my Husband and listening to all his childhood memories. All the things that he had wanted growing up and still believe he’ll get one day. He explain that the lifestyle he has now was unexpected from the one he was raised in. Some of the things that we do as a family in our house were things men in his country just didn’t do. I realize sometimes we take everything for granted that we don’t realize the sacrifice we make within ourselves. Or the sacrifices others makes on our behalf. Even going against what their believe in.
I didn’t understand how much my husband was struggling with his beliefs within our marriage until recently. Going against himself almost everything he grow up with to marry an American. Some of you guys may not understand but the best example I could give is studying to become a doctor all your life then one day becoming a lawyer. Yes both serve the people but in completely different ways. My husband when from the hospital to the courthouse in one day. In his defense he really didn’t think things would be so different than what he grew up with.
And yes he has dated other women but again a wife is different from any girlfriend. All the little things that we do like talk out every decision for days to give account for every cent we individual spend. Things on larger scale would be me wanting to take trips without him for long periods of time. Or doing something that he’s totally against. A prime example of this was the blog.
My husband believed (past tense) that me writing openly about our relationship would eventually hurt our marriage. He didn’t want people knowing so much about our marriage. Although I believe my writing has helped me and our relationship I know my husband always carefully reads my blog. Sometimes he is very proud of how I write and other times it’s not how I write but what I write about that he dislikes. It doesn’t help that I get email from strangers that question his integrity or question his manhood in our relationship. Which depending on my husband feels you may hear about later on in a blog. Keep your fingers crossed.
My husband strong male personality is something he has had to take into consideration. When we argue I can get loud. I realize early on when he used to walk away that me getting loud can be perceived as a threat. African men and women get loud in conversations but not to the opposite sex and definitely not in front of others. A woman is the peacemaker and while I was raised with this notion myself. I don’t believe I should take a side that goes against my beliefs just to keep the peace. More and more we are finding ways to communicate in the relationship despite our individual culture. Counseling has helped to defuses landfills of explosives. My husband rarely walks away from an argument because I get loud and the arguments are slowly become a thing of the past.
It’s takes a lot to make this marriage work even going against his beliefs. My husband is a very special person and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Or maybe I would just to go to the mall a lot more lol. Sorry you guys I’m still not allowed to shop. I will say that because I did pick up some shoes at DSW (not sponsored) with a gift card I received for my anniversary. I got three pairs for less than $60. Other than that I’ve been planning for the holidays. What shop are you guys looking forward to shopping in Black Friday? I just hope that I can go to Walmart (no sponsored) lol. Until next time maybe I’ll even catch you at the mall we’ll see.



This post first appeared on In Air Moments, please read the originial post: here

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Going Against Himself

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