This is something I struggled with a lot when I was younger and thought I moved on from. We all have a touch of Body dysmorphia, some have it worse than others, but it’s there. Those of us in the fitness world are not exempt from this by any means. Not only does the fitness community still have body image issues, we create additional issues for those who look up to us.
I want to use my body image idol as an example.
When I first started my fitness journey I was on tumblr and sifting my dashboard endlessly. This is back when I did the same 3 moves at the gym and thought cardio was the be all end all. Then I found Nikki’s videos. Her physique clicked with me immediately and that’s what I wanted to look like. I strived for it by going to the gym everyday for 1.5 hours, tracking macros and trying to live a bikini competitor lifestyle. I assumed this was healthy for me, but it wasn’t. I’ve come a long way, but there are still some throwbacks.
Below are 2 images that showed up on my Instagram.
If you follow hundreds of fitness handles like me, you’ll notice that lately there has been an influx of body positive hashtags and posts. A lot of them come from big fitness accounts that post pictures of what appears to be the perfect body (Nikki’s image on the right), and then this pictures from GymShark Women came up on my feed and honestly, I could have cried. Look at them, they look normal just like everyone else. They’re not flexed, posed or camera ready. This is the most inspirational image I’ve ever seen and they didn’t even mean to.
So back to body image and my current struggles.
As of today, I am 109lbs. This is still underweight by medical standards, but for me, this is 6lbs heavier than I normally weigh. For me, this is hard to deal with. I have been purposely gaining weight to build muscle, but now that I am at the point where I need to cut I feel awful. I scroll my Instagram and see this body I am so in love with, then look in the mirror and see something different. This is Body Dysmorphia.
What is body dysmorphia?
A psychological disorder in which a person becomes obsessed with imaginary defects in their appearance.
An example of this is when someone looks in the mirror and sees the weight that isn’t actually there. I know, that sounds crazy. How can you see something that’s not there? For me, I see this. I see myself carrying the weight that isn’t actually there because I look at images of girls flexing and even though I know better, I still compare my relaxed body to their flexed one.
That’s only one example of body dysmorphia and it’s pretty light compared to what some people go through.
How I’m going to deal with it.
This is the big thing for me. I can sit and feel bad about my body, or I can make a change. I can look at my lifestyle, my workout routine, my sleep patterns and suss out where the changes need to be made. Right now diet is the biggest issue. Cutting back on eating everything I feel like and getting back to basics. I’m still going to eat intuitively, but not like I have been. I need to be more conscious of what I’m putting in my body. Cut back the sugar, go back to eating in more of a routine and not just because I can.
Getting back to the gym regularly. I don’t know where I went off the rails with the gym, but I haven’t been happy since my gym time has been cut back to 1-2 every 2 weeks.
These changes are my solution.
The post Personal | Struggling with body Image appeared first on Coast AUX.