One of your wishes is to eradicate domestic Disputes. You are not naive / naive: there will always be contentious issues in your marriage. But in addition to being boyfriend / girlfriend, you are also becoming wiser. You want to manage the differences on a more peaceful. Why ?
You realize that arguments you away.
You want a better education for your children.
They probably already fans of your marital crises. And you, you're probably already felt (an) guilty of inflicting violence disagreements / disappointments existing between you and your partner. You do not want your children to see you as hysterical. You have the ambition to be a better model for them.
You want a relationship that tends towards greater kindness. I suggest a trick to achieve it.
Fewer hassles with simple awareness.
In a couple, there are ups and downs. But often, there is also the intention to establish more harmony. There is the desire to improve the quality of the relationship. Why then one day, we are truly wise, confident that the disputes are a matter of immature couples, and why, on another day, we are the epitome of aggression?
Yes, of course, over the years, we accumulate personal frustrations but also marital frustrations and disappointments. So sometimes, despite the desire to continue the relationship, raise your voice even freak, from time to time.
Yes, sometimes emotionally, it will not. Tension mounts, and it explodes. But a part of us, despite the disagreement, misunderstanding or suffering, wants to manage the conflict other than by argument.
But it's stronger than us. We let ourselves take us. We are raising the tone, and at the same time, are degrading the marital relationship while our children stressful. Why ?
Because you reproduce the behavior of your parents. Yes, here is a little awareness can reduce the frequency of disputes in your marriage. Remember the reports of your parents, your relatives, as a child. How they managed conflicts? With aggression, or sympathetic?
I remember and I realize that my parents arguing strongly when I was a child. Do I reproduce what I see? I grew up thinking that conflict = argument. I was young. I was a child. But today I make a choice between aggression / violence and benevolence.
This simple awareness helps a lot. Yes, I remember that my parents could be hysterical. I forgive them. But, I choose something else for my marriage and my little girl. I choose the communication.
Another tip for fewer disputes in the couple.
Emphasize the relationship rather than the reaction (Jacques Salomé)
While an argument may take a minute or two, the words / criticism can hurt a long time or even forever.
When you can not handle the post-dispute, the dispute may contribute to deteriorate the relationship. Because the violence that is done to help the accumulation of resentments, even unconsciously.
You do not want the relationship deteriorates because of unfortunate disputes. Always remember to take care of the relationship instead of releasing her cage fighting your ego.
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