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Breakups

The videos you see above are what got me crying this late afternoon.

I always believe that Loving someone is one of the bravest things any person can do. By loving, it means you’re also ready to get hurt–and romantic relationships, at some point, are going to be painful. No, make that excruciatingly painful.

My first major Breakup happened many, many moons ago. A few weeks before the BIG DAY happened, I somewhat knew something was wrong. But then, I also thought it’s something that would just fade away. Then came his decision to leave me, as he wanted space and more time for himself, that one night, in the public plaza, when I couldn’t deny the fact anymore he’s slipping away and confronted him.

It took me awhile to “recover” and get used to the new normal. Six years weren’t a joke. At 22, I thought I was ready to settle down and that I’ve already found the one. All of a sudden, I couldn’t help but question if I had never been enough all along or if there would be someone who’ll be interested to spend the rest of his life with me. My mother did believe it. I couldn’t convince myself.

Eventually, he came back, and we got married 7 years ago. But if there’s one thing I wanted to let him know, it’s that I am never the same girl her met the first time.

Breakups have the power to create a new person. Sure, they don’t kill you; but they force you to do things you never really want to in the first place, like grieving over a loss, moving on, or becoming friends with your exes. My mother would once in a while tell me to “toughen it out,” but “toughening myself” wasn’t really what I wanted. I wanted him and us back. They compel you to face uncertainties that are hard to manage and questions  too tough to answer. They can destroy self-confidence and self-worth.

Breakups can make you feel very lonely. It’s extremely difficult when you miss the person and you can’t do anything about it. After all, you’re not supposed to be part of his life anymore. Sometimes too the loneliness can make the pain  too much to bear. Now I understand why rebounds happen.

And yet, my breakup also taught me I am still capable of loving someone else, as I met another. It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to be, but it made me hopeful.

A breakup isn’t something I would wish for anyone who’s loving. I don’t think it’s a fair exchange for the love a person gives. But it happens. What I want to tell you right now is, if it comes, just wing it. Go through the motions and just hang on. In the end, I feel you’ll become a wiser, better person.

The post Breakups appeared first on Domesticated Hope.



This post first appeared on Domesticated Hope, please read the originial post: here

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Breakups

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