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Friday August 19th, 2016

     So I missed a day blogging. Yesterday I was just so tired I slept for honestly 90% of the day. Such a waste of a day but eh whatever. So now I am at work till 8 - not to bad but I Kinda wanna be home relaxing till Judd gets home. I also stated my new job this morning being a companion to elderly people. Today was only for 4 hours but I really liked it, except getting up at 5:30! I have to save money to go to school though since for some reason they won't approve me for financial aide. 
     My 25th Birthday is 10 days away. I'm going to be working on that day and don't really know what I am doing after. I don't know if Judd has anything planned or what - I mean it doesn't really matter I usually don't do much if anything on my birthdays. Hopefully something will happen though since it is kinda a big one. I'll probably see Leslie maybe before or after my actual birthday when we both have time ha-ha. 
    So I kind of wanted to get into talking about one of my "illnesses". Not sure if you could call it that but I'm not sure what else to call it. Today I will be talking about my binge eating disorder. Now I have not officially been diagnosed with this but after reading up on it and really listening to other people who have this diagnosis I am 100% convinced that I do have it. Like I said in a previous post, I don't purge, just do the binging. I tend to binge more at night or when I am alone. I have found myself hiding what I eat from others and keeping it a secret. Or sometimes I just cant control it at night and after dinner I'll have a big bowl of ice-cream and then snacks after like, popcorn, chips, m&m's, granola bars, but sometimes its healthy like grapes, or bananas. But I will eat till I feel like I am going to vomit, and then just sit there in agony. I truly believe that I cannot beat this on my own and really should find a therapist to go see so I can talk to them about this issue and my other issues I seem to be having. I will need to wait until I get on my works insurance to do that, only till the end of the month so not to much longer. I was also looking into like a retreat - but whoa they are super expensive so scratch that haha.  
     I guess that it all I will write for today. My brain just kind of shut off. But everyone who reads this thank you so much, it truly means so much to me, more then you can imagine. 


  stay humble, stay peaceful, and always stay hopeful 



This post first appeared on Always Hopeful, please read the originial post: here

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Friday August 19th, 2016

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