My parents and I saw Agatha Christie’s “Spider Web” at the Alley Theater last night. All three of us are obsessed with murder mysteries, which makes us a) overconfident but… Read More
Bartender: “Here’s your coffee!” Patron: “Thanks! But I need the stuff to make it white.” Me: “Privilege?” Everyone else in the bar: “…… Read More
“You have to look at the card for a few seconds before you see that the animals that pull the chariot have neither reigns nor bridles. It’s the Captain James T. Ki… Read More
Dear Homeowner, While I’m sure your pit bull/Rottweiler/Komodo dragon mix may in fact be, as you believe, “the sweetest puppy in the world,” your neighbors are terrifi… Read More
Douglas: “Should I buy these boots? They’re $60, marked down from $119.” Me: “Well, you played laser tag this morning, and you thought it was going to cost $20, but i… Read More
[A conversation between myself and my Misfits brother Space Cowboy (which is the honest-to-Gods name on his club vest; I am not making that up).] SC: “The father of… Read More
Me: “Watch me whip.” Alan: “Stop it.” Me: “Watch me nae nae.” Alan: “Stop it.” Me: “Watch me whip…” Alan: “Stop&hell&helli…Read More
Remember back in September, when I mentioned a cryptic writing/directing project? Well, if you’re trapped in Houston tomorrow, you officially have a legitimate reason to… Read More
I was goofing around online the other day and unearthed an old blog post that features references to my original site, Lover of Strife. Typos aside, i… Read More
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