Any of you who hasn’t been living under a digital rock have probably heard about the case of former Sunderland football player Adam Johnson.
For anyone who doesn’t live in the UK, or doesn’t read the news or Twitter, here’s a quick recap. Basically, a well-known Footballer received a friend request from a 15 year old groupie, who then started messaging him. He gave her some signed football shirts, started sexting her, met up with her and did stuff in his car, she told her schoolfriends, word spread round, she told her parents, her parents went to the police, then the whole shitstorm blew up.
My first thought when reading the story was “Why was a 28 year old man pursuing a 15 year old girl?”
But my second thought was “Where were this girl’s parents when she was doing stuff with a 28 year old man in a car?”
A Grey Area
Don’t get me wrong. Adam Johnson’s behaviour was in no way acceptable, particularly when you factor in the fact that he had a girlfriend and a baby. I’d have far more sympathy for him if he didn’t know her age, or if he was 16 and she was 15. The unwritten rule once you enter your twenties is not to go for anyone under 18. When he found out her age, he should have backed off. And as a well-known footballer, he should have known that the consequences of his actions would have been catastrophic.
However, this girl isn’t completely innocent. She has claimed that she “wanted to kill herself”, but it seems like she only felt that way *after* the roumers of the Sexual Encounter spread throughout her school and Johnson cancelled a meeting with her because he couldn’t get out of seeing his girlfriend. Don’t forget, she friend requested him on Facebook, and in the message transcripts she’s definitely a willing participant. At 15 you’re not an adult, but you still know what you’re doing.
If I was 15 and my parents found out I’d engaged in sexual activity with a footballer I’d met online, they would go absolutely mental. Thinking about it, I’d probably have never got out to meet him in the first place. My parents would have been checking up on me, where I was going, what I was doing. And my family weren’t super-religious, but there was definitely an overall message that sex is something you do 16+ in a committed relationship. If some guy had text me discussing taking my jeans off, my response would have been “HELL NO”.
And it worked. I’m 24 now and the only guy I’ve done more than kissing with was a serious boyfriend. My cousin the same age as me got married last summer to the only guy she’s ever slept with. If you have a 15 year old daughter who has had a sexual encounter with a footballer face it: somewhere on the line you made a mistake. This girl’s parents failed to properly educate and supervise their daughter, and are now paying the price.
Feminists seem to want to have it both ways. They celebrate girls getting sluttier and younger, yet at the same time any guy who takes the bait is a vile pedophile. Adam Johnson has definitely committed a crime, but at the same time, it takes two to tango.
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This post first appeared on Lara Loveless | UK Dating Blog | The Life And Love, please read the originial post: here