2019-02-23 15:37
I've got friends calling. They want me to go to the hospital. Actually, they want to take me to the hospital. That's how fast it happened. Between Wednesday evening and Friday morning I went… Read More
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Depression Marathon Blog
depressionmarathon.blogspot.com
Female runner and health professional reveals her battle with severe and persistent depression including how it changed her identity, personality and life.
2019-02-20 01:04
I didn't mean to do it, but I stepped into the middle of something at work today. In an effort to assist a coworker, thinking only of helping the coworker, I inadvertently created an issue w… Read More
2019-02-14 22:46
I sent a note to my doctor yesterday. I'm a little bit worried. Something feels off. I'm not quite right, hence the note to my doc. Nothing to do but wait and see, really, but I just wanted… Read More
2019-02-10 21:33
It's been a week. I sat down at this computer several times over the last 7 days to write a new post, but I just didn't have anything I wanted to say. I'm still not sure I do. I apologize. M… Read More
2019-02-03 20:43
I'm happy to report Jet and I made it through the recent Polar Vortex. It was 20-30 degrees below zero here for the better part of 3 days. It got so cold I had to put socks on Jet's feet eve… Read More
2019-01-31 00:05
When I was a junior in high school, 17 years old to be exact, I attempted to end my life. January 30th, 1985, was supposed to be the last day of my life. I had a plan. I carried out my plan… Read More
2019-01-24 23:50
I was talking to my doctor this morning. She's a few years older than I, and like me, she also played college sports. We were ironically chuckling about all of my physical ailments. I've got… Read More
2019-01-21 01:36
I don't always remember this day, but I've been thinking about her a lot lately. And with good reason, I guess, as today would have been her 50th birthday. But she's not here. She hasn't bee… Read More
2019-01-14 00:59
Let me say this, I'm grateful I am grateful. Gratitude is a relatively new concept for me. Prior to getting sober 13 years ago, I really had no idea what it meant to be grateful. If I throw… Read More
2019-01-08 21:23
The title of the article says it all, "To get mental health help for a child, desperate parents relinquish custody." It is a disturbing, horrific story of a family and their adopted son. Dan… Read More
2019-01-04 00:28
I'm a bit sad 2018 is behind me. I had a pretty good year. Sure, I'd like to be back running and racing, but other than that, 2018 was quite kind. My year was filled with activities and adve… Read More
2018-12-29 00:30
I'm not sure why I got it when so many others didn't. Luck? Willingness? Chemistry? Maybe a bit of all three? I don't know, but I'm happy I got it. I'm thrilled and grateful today to be cele… Read More
2018-12-26 01:25
I admit it. I awoke this morning feeling a little sad, which was unusual, so initially I didn't pay much attention. I've spent many years alone on Christmas day, and it's never been a big de… Read More
2018-12-21 00:21
I celebrated another birthday this week. My goal for my 51st year is to actually run a race again. I ran my last race the day before I turned 49. So it's now officially been more than two ye… Read More
2018-12-16 21:04
I'm thinking about psych nurses today. They are a unique bunch. I have been very fortunate. I have been a patient of some of the best mental health nurses around. Whether inpatient or o… Read More
2018-12-13 20:35
I have a friend who is struggling with her depression right now. It's different for me to be on this side of the scene. Usually I'm the one in need. Her struggle has me thinking about what I… Read More
2018-12-09 01:22
I'm sitting here processing my whirlwind overnight trip to Boston for the blogger meeting in which I was invited to participate. I left at 6:00 AM Thursday morning and walked back through my… Read More
2018-12-04 17:48
I'm wondering if it's just me. When something disconcerting, difficult, or downright traumatic happens to me, I seem to have difficulty getting it out of my brain. It's troubling because I e… Read More
2018-11-29 14:10
It's happening again. Somebody is copying my blog posts. Again. The mad-copier has been working on several posts from December, 2008, and is now moving into January, 2009, as well as other r… Read More
2018-11-25 21:46
I can't believe it's been a week since I last wrote. Where did the time go? I guess being busy at work, a mid-week holiday, and working on two consecutive Saturdays has kept me from thinking… Read More
2018-11-18 22:25
Life goes on. I've returned to work. I've returned to exercising--walking, running, lifting weights, and cycling classes. I'm taking care of some professional obligations in order to keep my… Read More
2018-11-11 13:00
Something strange has happened. Being away, it seems, increased my sense of connection, especially to the people in my life. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude in the wee hours of yesterday… Read More
2018-11-03 08:54
It took another stressful 2 days of waiting and negotiating at the Lukla airport to finally get on a flight yesterday, which brought me back to Kathmandu, after finishing my trek. That… Read More
2018-10-29 10:39
Last night I slept below 15,000 feet for the first time in at least a week, and I felt like I was in an oxygen tent! On the way up I got anxious and could barely breathe above 14,000 feet! W… Read More
2018-10-24 06:47
I made it to Everest basecamp. In the past 3 days I've also climbed up and over an 18,000 foot mountain pass and summited Mount Kalapthar, around 18,400 feet. I never imagined I'd be able to… Read More
2018-10-19 09:20
I'm on my bucket list trip to Everest base camp, and I am battling a fight within my brain. My anxiety, something with which I don't often struggle, is almost out of control. It's already ha… Read More
2018-10-18 10:04
I'm on day 5, I think, of my trek. Currently around 14,000 feet. The actual trekking has been challenging but wonderful. I've seen Everest the last 2 days. Still several days away from basec… Read More
2018-10-13 02:03
This post may be short and sweet, as I am attempting to type it on my cellphone. Interesting to say the least, but here goes.
I arrived in Kathmandu Thursday in the middle of the night. My… Read More
2018-10-07 13:48
Nepal is on the horizon. I'm excited, anxious, and ready to go. I'm not looking forward to the actual travel there and back, but I'm prepared to take it in stride and roll with whatever come… Read More
2018-10-02 23:37
Heartfelt gratitude and appreciation today to Dan Brown of My Therapy App. He wrote to me earlier this week to inform me My Therapy App has selected my little blog as the "Best Depression Bl… Read More
2018-09-29 00:13
Jet and I went for a hike yesterday. It was his first hike since injuring his elbow, and it was probably my last hike prior to leaving for Nepal. I was so anxious about preparing for my trip… Read More
2018-09-23 15:27
Sometimes I don't realize how much I miss certain people until I accidentally run into them in the hardware store. That's exactly what happened yesterday. I ran into a couple I hadn't seen i… Read More
2018-09-18 00:07
Approximately one mile into my commute this morning a mid-20's, white dude, in a black SUV smashed into the back of my vehicle, also an SUV. There was little damage, but I was enraged! When… Read More
2018-09-12 00:01
A few years back I wrote a post which contained a letter to our friends and family members. It is a post which apparently resonated with a lot of people, as it has been viewed a lot. A few d… Read More
2018-09-08 01:18
Whew...it's been a hell of a week. First of all, I have a migraine. I've had it all day, but I worked through it, took Jet to the vet with it, and mowed my lawn despite it. I hate migraines… Read More
2018-09-02 21:40
I took a coworker to the Minnesota State Fair yesterday. It was her first time, so it was fun to experience it again with a rookie. We took the ride above about 10 minutes after we walked th… Read More
2018-08-31 00:25
I am so, so sorry to all of you who have been commenting since, apparently, sometime in March! I have not been notified of any comments, and therefore I have not posted any of them. Blogger… Read More
2018-08-26 00:28
Sometimes, for whatever reason, patients feel they are the only ones in the facility requiring care at that particular time. And when that happens they tend to be not-so-nice. Today, at the… Read More
2018-08-21 01:18
I don't have much to say tonight. I'm tired. I'm just plain tired, and I'm getting a bit concerned about that. I'm sure you don't want to read a post about how tired I am, but fatigue which… Read More
2018-08-16 22:57
It's been about one year since I was first hospitalized for my most recent depression relapse. Turns out I would be hospitalized again within a couple weeks of the end of that first hospital… Read More
2018-08-12 00:34
Taking my medications is a huge piece of my recipe for successfully combating depression. Nevertheless, I always want to take the lowest number and dosages of medication. I need my medicatio… Read More
2018-08-05 13:38
Cancer. It's not a word that's been associated with anyone in my immediate or extended family ever, which is remarkable. Never. How lucky is that?
My 19-year-old nephew has cancer. We found… Read More
2018-07-31 00:40
On a lark, I entered a lottery. Tens of thousands of people enter this lottery for one of approximately 11,000 spots. I had no intention of entering, but my other plan for that weekend didn'… Read More
2018-07-26 22:36
I'm sitting here in fear. Within the last 24 hours, my 19 year old nephew, a Division 1 college athlete, told his mom "something isn't right," and thought she should make him a doctor's appo… Read More
2018-07-22 21:27
I've been thinking. It's easy to do well, play well with others, and take care of myself when things are going my way. Unfortunately, this week not much went my way. I saw it as a test. Coul… Read More
2018-07-18 00:33
Helpful. Competent. Always a pleasure to work with. Skilled. Great team player. These are a few of the comments made in reference to me by my coworkers, other physical therapists, which… Read More
2018-07-12 23:47
Suicide has been in the news and on my mind lately. On the heels of the deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, another suicide hit close to home last week. The niece of one of my best fr… Read More
2018-07-07 14:47
Playing is so important to my mental health. I may be 50, but I still like to be silly when given the chance. And truthfully, any time of day is a chance to be silly, have fun, or laugh as f… Read More
2018-06-30 21:14
A couple of days ago, I found myself grinning from ear to ear and happier than could be. And then I found myself giggling, at myself, for being so giddy. You see, it was all about a hat. Tha… Read More
2018-06-24 19:45
A few weeks ago I posted about possibly switching from part time hours to full time hours, with added benefits such as health insurance, paid time off, and a 401K. I haven't worked full time… Read More
2018-06-19 00:10
I just returned from a long weekend in Duluth. It was Grandmas Marathon weekend, and though it was difficult, as I wanted to be running rather than standing on the sideline, I did enjoy watc… Read More
2018-06-08 23:26
Last week, something very strange happened. While out walking with Jet, I found a turtle in the middle of a long, wooden bridge, 40 feet above the creek. It was hot and the turtle seemed a b… Read More
2018-06-03 23:15
I'm not a fan of drama.
No drama means I'm playing well with others--friends, family, and coworkers.
No drama means I'm taking care of my patients and performing the expected duties of my j… Read More
2018-05-31 01:48
I have a decision to make. It's been suggested I consider taking a full-time position at my place of employment. While I'm glad my employer and coworkers appreciate me enough to want me arou… Read More
2018-05-25 00:01
I passed a milestone of sorts the other day. On May 21, 2017, I woke up coughing just after midnight and my L4 disc exploded. It's been quite a year. Surgery, depression relapse and hospital… Read More
2018-05-20 12:51
I'm worried. Maybe that's a good thing? Things are going so well I have time and energy to worry? Perhaps. I'm not usually much of a worrier, so I'm a bit uncomfortable and trying my best to… Read More
2018-05-13 21:16
Despite my fervent prayers and abundant wishes, my right knee is still not right. It has gotten more sore again. Last week, attempting to run was again painful. I was crushed. I am now putti… Read More
2018-05-09 23:43
I just returned home from work. My route home includes 20 miles on a very busy commuter highway, and that's the problem. It's a highway, not a freeway, with a speed limit of 65 miles per hou… Read More
2018-05-03 23:37
Although my right knee is not perfect, with my doctor's blessing I have returned to running. Today was day two. On Tuesday I walked and ran 3.5 miles, which included running three tenths of… Read More
2018-04-30 01:21
Just returned from a beautiful weekend in Duluth, on the shore of Lake Superior, where I walked miles with my friend, soaked in the sunshine, ate some really good food, enjoyed my coffee, an… Read More
2018-04-24 22:57
Hello, my friends. I apologize in advance, as I'm without many words these days. Things are going well. I'm feeling well. Life is good right now. I'm not sure I have much to offer today, but… Read More
2018-04-14 13:25
Last time I wrote I told you about my intermittent nausea, annoying but not tremendously interfering with my day to day life. Well, that changed a few nights ago. The nausea finally amounted… Read More
2018-04-08 22:48
With the exception of being insanely busy at work, all is quiet here on the Northern front. I'm doing okay. My mood is back to nearly normal, whatever that is. I'm not low. I'm not ecst… Read More
2018-04-02 01:39
It may be April Fools Day, and I did get fooled once today, but all kidding aside, I'm happy to report I'm feeling better, really. My days of severe fatigue seem to have passed. I only took… Read More
2018-03-27 01:53
I've been traveling a bumpy road the last several days. Every time I think I'm feeling better, my mood dives into the pit, and then I feel better again, maybe even normal, before it dives ba… Read More
2018-03-20 22:11
If you've been following along, you know I've not been feeling well. Yesterday I didn't feel well, and I got a migraine. Fun times. My mood has been a little low, a little agitated, and a li… Read More
2018-03-15 22:13
Five. That's how many times the cycle instructor had us ride for 4 very hard minutes followed by 3 minutes of recovery last night. That I made it to the class was a monumental effort. But I… Read More
2018-03-11 01:52
Perhaps this post is related to my last post. I wrote about two professional athletes who revealed their struggles with mental illness. Unlike their cases, however, all of my coworkers and f… Read More
2018-03-08 21:10
In recent weeks, two professional basketball players opened up about their struggles with mental illness. One player revealed he suffers from an anxiety disorder, one which led to a panic at… Read More
2018-03-03 01:18
I've written about this here in the past, and I don't really want to write about it again, but it's happening so here I go. I've been having negative, scary thoughts again. This happens to m… Read More
2018-02-25 22:46
I'd need more than ten fingers to count the number of times I've been told to be patient over the past week. Which means I'd need more than ten fingers to count the number of times I've expr… Read More
2018-02-18 16:34
Two Sundays in a row, I've inexplicably suffered. I'm not sure what's going on. Last Sunday I chalked it up to my knee surgery which was just two days prior. But today, I'm feeling it again… Read More
2018-02-15 01:56
I was going to write a post tonight about how I'm still recovering from my knee surgery, and about how I had a big scare when my mood rocketed downward Sunday, and probably something about h… Read More
2018-02-09 21:32
I had my arthroscopic knee surgery yesterday. It was a long day of waiting, as I was the last surgery on the schedule, but everything went well. My orthopedic surgeon played the theme song f… Read More
2018-02-04 22:50
As I mentioned in a few previous posts, I've been having some discomfort and locking of my right knee, typically the day after a run. It hasn't interrupted my running. The discomfort has not… Read More
2018-02-02 01:12
I marked an anniversary a couple of days ago. It was January 30th of my junior year of high school, and I had had enough. I had fought a losing battle with depression since the age of 15. My… Read More
2018-01-28 21:04
I ran this morning. It was the first time I'd exercised in 3 days. I went back to bed after my run. It was 10:00 in the morning. Two days ago I fell asleep after work and went to bed at 7:30… Read More
2018-01-23 00:59
I take a small cocktail of medications to treat my depression. Today I received my year end summary from the insurance company that pays for my prescriptions. Seventeen thousand, three hundr… Read More
2018-01-19 00:25
I'm excited tonight. I just finished packing for a short weekend away from home. I'm going to be spending the weekend in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis-St.Paul) with some very close friends. I… Read More
2018-01-15 01:59
One of my fears about returning to running was injury. Specifically, I was worried that my weak left leg would alter my gait, which could cause an injury somewhere else. And even though my l… Read More
2018-01-10 02:15
The deep freeze finally relented yesterday. It actually hit the mid 30's yesterday and almost 40 degrees today, unheard of for Minnesota in January! Going from at least a week of many, many… Read More
2018-01-05 00:15
So I was minding my business the other morning, New Year's Day morning to be exact, sipping my coffee and perusing my favorite websites, when I reached across the table and dumped my coffee… Read More
2017-12-29 00:17
It's a big day today. Twelve years ago today I began my journey into recovery. I've been sober for 12 years. Wow. Writing that down...it's barely believable. I never thought I'd be sober thi… Read More
2017-12-23 22:54
Perhaps it's because I've been sick the entire month. I'm tired. I returned to work this week, and it's been a long, busy week. By yesterday my brain and body were screaming for a nap prior… Read More
2017-12-16 23:38
It's hard to imagine, but I'm still sick. I'm on my second antibiotic for severe bronchitis. I can't stop coughing, and I still can't talk, although I think I heard a squeak when I tried to… Read More
2017-12-11 23:26
The sooner this year ends the better. Only in this year of weird health dramas (hello, blowing a disc coughing in bed??), only in this year would a routine viral illness, perhaps the flu, st… Read More
2017-12-06 22:51
I hate being sick, and boy have I been sick! For 6 days I've had a painful cough, congestion, and body aches. I've been unable to work, exercise, or even get out of my house. Today I can't t… Read More
2017-12-01 23:25
I've located the jerk who has been copying, word for word, my entire blog. The jerk has re-posted all of my material, again, word for word, in his/her own blog. It's so ridiculous! Many of m… Read More
2017-11-27 01:58
I was confronted with infuriating ignorance during a meeting yesterday. This was a meeting of sober people. The person leading the meeting announced that one of our regular attendees was in… Read More
2017-11-24 01:30
My long road back from an extruded L4 disc, 6 months ago, and back surgery, 5 months ago, got just a bit shorter today. I can hardly believe it myself, but I ran today! On an absolutely gorg… Read More
2017-11-17 00:58
Something cool happened today. I was out shopping when I ran into a nurse from my local inpatient mental health unit. Even though I had just come from the gym and was wearing sweats and a ba… Read More
2017-11-11 02:18
Not much to report from here. I'm living life on life's terms at the moment. Fortunately, life's terms aren't too dramatic or difficult to deal with right now. I've continued to work 4-5 day… Read More
2017-11-05 13:47
Sipping my coffee, sitting in my sweats, wiping sleep from my eyes, I'm awaiting the televised start of today's New York City Marathon. I'll watch the entire broadcast, amazed at the grace… Read More
2017-11-03 01:04
It was November, 2000, when I first noticed I was feeling a little off. Before I knew it I was suffering with low energy, fatigue, irritability, and difficulty motivating. Things that matter… Read More
2017-10-29 21:37
I'm just back from what very likely may be my last ElliptiGo ride of this year. I hope not, but it's that time of year here. The cold weather swooped in, and we had our first taste of snow o… Read More
2017-10-25 23:17
I'm happy to report things are going well here. As a result, I don't have much to report. Work has been a bit stressful, as we have some challenging patients right now, but I've been managin… Read More
2017-10-20 23:55
Phew! Just as expected, I'm really tired. I just woke up from a well deserved nap following a long week at work. As I delineated in my last post, working a full-time schedule, five consecuti… Read More
2017-10-14 01:28
"Be careful," my friend said, "that's a lot of work." I had just relayed to her how incredibly busy I'd been this week. I worked 5 of the last 7 days, and I'm working tomorrow, too. I usuall… Read More
2017-10-07 23:59
I am officially finished with my Ketamine clinical trial. I had my seventh and final infusion on Thursday. I'm extremely pleased to report the Ketamine worked. I feel almost back to normal… Read More
2017-10-03 20:45
I'm not sure what to say. I was going to update you regarding the jerk who is still copying every word of my blog, but in light of the recent events, I'm not sure that's worthy of complaint… Read More
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