Blogarama: The Oldest Blog Directory

I had in mind working on a Decision-Making Worksheet/Cost-Benefit Analysis this morning. My goal is to map out a plan for the coming year. My attitude towards events as they unfold i… Read More

Dictionaryself-care noun the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.”autonomy in self-care and insulin administration”the practice of… Read More

Ok, where am I going with this? Am I trying to disassociate myself from depression or am I trying to get out of bed first thing in the morning? I have been thinking, again, about why… Read More

With my first anniversary of my hospitalization for MDD, I count the mental health tools I now have as my anniversary presents. Now I am speaking about the tools I use to deal with my… Read More

Our resolve as a nation to beat COVID-19 is wavering. Not that we do not want it to happen, but we are growing weary of the cost. Getting back to work is on more people’s minds… Read More

I understand I have depression and the world is experiencing a pandemic. My new normal is to live a balanced life with depression. I expected up days and down days, that is life even… Read More

I really had in mind slowing down and thinking more about my attitude. The chance to look at my attitude towards recent events is a way to understand how I am reacting to them. Or at… Read More

Today we are encouraged to meet and celebrate. Even if our roots are not Mexican, for a few hours, we are all Mexican. Today is marked with gatherings of people. Those of Mexican desc… Read More

Beginning my second year with Major Depressive Disorder, I am still not leading a balanced life. Now things are certainly much, much better than they were a year ago. I have hope and… Read More

I am having trouble managing my thoughts and feelings with so many of my resources closed. I’m blaming my lack of motivation on not having face to face meetings. And my recovery f… Read More

A year ago, my focus was on Major Depressive Disorder. Would I figure it out? Was there life for me going forward? Could I see past the wall that I was up against? Although at that mo… Read More

What he told me was life changing. Getting out of bed each morning has been drama. Most days, I launch an internal dialogue with myself, which ends in my feeling guilty about staying… Read More

I do not care if it rains all week, I am happy to be alive. And guess what, my wish is coming true. The forecast is for seven days of showers. The best news is that my garden will get… Read More

Canceled implies something was going to happen, but now it is not. For example, “school is canceled because of heavy snow.” This is clear. School was going to take place… Read More

“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.”Henry David Thoreau Having fished since I was 3 years old, I think I get th… Read More

“Sir, did you know you were going 62 in a 35 MPH zone? That’s got to be reckless driving, I thought to myself. What I said back to the officer was, “No.” He as… Read More

Today has been much like most recent days. Certain topics are not on my radar. I am clunking around in a daze, hoping that the answer to why I am feeling blah will pull me aside and r… Read More

Or maybe I am still on it, but I am not driving it? Whatever it is, it feels unproductive. I’ve read a lot of articles recently by medical professionals who say it is OK to feel… Read More

Just because you called me, I don’t have to pick up the phone. Or why do you assume I will open the letter, just because you thought it was important enough to send? I see the l… Read More

But I really want to care. Somehow, I need to jump-start my recovery again. All I seem to do is to be going sideways. I am not allowing myself to be honest about what is going on… Read More

Why am I stuck in this loop of sameness? As I begin writing, I realize this is not the first time I have written about this. My mind has been stuck in a painful, unproductive loop bef… Read More

As we were walking our dog recently, the subject of painted turtles came up. We talked about when they would be coming out of the water to lay their eggs in the lower part of our prop… Read More

Some days it is a pebble and the hill is hardly noticeable. Other days, it is a boulder and the hill is more of a mountain, that ascends almost vertically from the valley floor. Durin… Read More

My mind is all over the place lately. Now I know there is a lot going on, but that is no excuse. OK, so a year ago I was in the hospital being treated for MDD, major depressive disord… Read More

I have gotten a myriad of things done today. It is day two of my mini-vacation and I am more relaxed than yesterday. In fact, yesterday I was scattered all over the place. Today… Read More

Previous research has suggested that there is a link between depression and tea consumption. Now a new study is exploring this relationship further. Depression is common in the elderly, 7% o… Read More

I promise to tell my new Doctor the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Going into my doctor’s office and putting on my concealed depression face results in me no… Read More

On the first day of vacation, I was in bed and out like a light. This makes sense as I was up early and had worked until midnight. Then I had the hour-plus ride home, and some relaxin… Read More

Why? I’m still not sure what to say to my new Psychiatrist. And the appointment is less than five hours away. Yes, I have made some notes and collected documents. I have my Aetn… Read More

Having written about this visit twice before it happened, I guess I was a little concerned about the outcome. But the discussion went very well. As you will see, we made some changes… Read More

It is not a gloomy morning. And it is markedly cooler than yesterday, which is not a bad thing. There was enough rain last night that I only needed to water the three pots of petunias… Read More

It has only been five days. And I just took day five’s medication about 30 minutes ago. I understand that it can be four weeks before my Wellbutrin XL, 150 mg. is doing its job… Read More

The most important thing to remember about concealed depression is you will not feel much of anything. But that’s OK. Feelings get in the way and muddy the waters. Facts are… Read More

Not that I won’t still have a place in my heart for Prozac. Before both of those, I researched SAM-E. Knowing it could have mood adjusting properties, I started taking it maybe… Read More

I’m not sure I would describe me as being at peace, but I am calm. Being able to get up without negotiating with myself had been a huge step. The changes in medication must be t… Read More

For several weeks now, my scale has hovered around 198 lbs. This is 14 lb.  above my February weight, and 20+ pounds above my ideal weight. I tell myself that I will easily lose… Read More

Most days, I must explain to you why I am allowing myself some self-care time. For some reason, I don’t feel like I deserve to have “me time.” I grew up without lear… Read More

I know my depression recovery is not a straight line. And, in the animal kingdom, some species are more active at certain times of the year. This includes raccoons that I see now on m… Read More

If I sit on the porch in the morning and don’t put the bird feeders out right away, the birds land on the empty frame and stare at me, waiting to be fed. Now I understand that I… Read More

Once again, I woke up and I got up. No drama, no negotiating with myself about whether to get up or stay in bed a little longer. You don’t know how relieved I am to skip the anx… Read More

Treat Yourself With The Same Dignity and Respect You Give Others. I do a very poor job in how I treat myself and this fortune reminds me of that. Now I wouldn’t call this a f… Read More

Depression is happiest when I am keeping secrets. It loves when I sneak around and don’t share what it is telling me. All those crazy plan’s depression has suggested to me… Read More

Imagine saying this out loud: “My last bottom was the deepest, darkest, most horrible place I have ever been.” Yet that was me last year. Reading through some of my… Read More

Look at me, I’m unplugged and taking some self-care time. And it is pretty darn relaxing. Just sitting on the front porch, rocking in the rocking chair. The sun, when it peaks t… Read More

If I am “cured” of depression, who will be my friend? Boy, that sounds terrible as I read what I just wrote. And there are several things that jump out at me about that st… Read More

Prozac has been my friend for over a year. But in higher doses, it possibly was the reason I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. Going from 20 to 40 mg last November, sent m… Read More

Depression makes it almost impossible for me to seek help for MDD. And as I finally begin to address it and seek out professional treatment, the paperwork and insurance have me circli… Read More

My depression and unhelpful thinking is much more subtle than house flies. I’m sitting on the porch, enjoying my first cup of coffee. Then I notice something tickling my leg. Ju… Read More

It has now been six days since I stopped taking Prozac. I know that Wellbutrin XL has had 30 days to establish itself in my system. And I am aware that Prozac builds up in the body an… Read More

10 Things I am Thankful for Today As I Face My Depression I’m alive – Several business associates and my mentor thought at one time that maybe I was not alive. That thoug… Read More

You know your life has changed when average is thrilling. Going five days in a row being average is breathtaking. It has been several years since this has happened. Lately, I have bee… Read More

Today is a day for self-care, there is no time for depression. My Wellbutrin 150 mg and my body seem to be OK with each other. I am six weeks into the new medicine. It has also been t… Read More

Is depression my reason for living? After all, I have grown up with depression. We have been together for over 43 years, probably longer. And much of my life was spent not facing my d… Read More

It has been 15 months since depression, and I walked into the emergency room. The tools I have learned since that morning are making my day-to-day life more balanced. I am much more c… Read More

After 15 months of sowing, I am beyond doubt getting to reap some benefits. Depression is no longer the unknown figure lurking in the wings, trying to lure me with candy and peanuts… Read More

Thankfully, I am not talking about suicide. During my last Psychiatrist visit, my Doctor asked me when the last time was, I had thoughts of suicide. I had to think, before answering… Read More

“I have depression, depression does not have me.” This has been my mantra for over 15 months. Hospitalized at the end of April last year, I was diagnosed with major depres… Read More

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t disappointed. Being one of three candidates for the position, there was not a huge amount of competition. And I felt I had the experienc… Read More

The change triangle is becoming my go-to tool helping me to understand what I am feeling. Feelings. And the core emotions I have so fastidiously defended against. I spent 43+ years pu… Read More

Asking for professional medical help was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I started writing the morning after I was released from the hospital. In 5 North, I was diagnosed… Read More