"The difference between flattening someone like a pancake with your car, and a real pancake, is that you don't put syrup on dead people." Damon Junior 2009 Read More

With all the self-absorbed bullshit goin on over at facebook, you'd think I'd fit right in, right? I mean who has more of an ego than the great and powerful Oz Damon?First off bitches, the d… Read More

Well how the hell are you people? Read More

Okay, ....necessities.2 bottles Captain Morgan private stock rum. ---check.4 boxes Nabisco double-stuf Oreos. ---check.6 boxes Hot fudge sundae flavored pop tarts. ----check.3 12 packs caffe… Read More

This blog has been called many things.Most of which will get you duct taped to an angry pelican and made to listen to David Hasselhoffs newest c.d. until your ears bleed.But of all the thing… Read More

My fine hometown.Working harder than any other to entertain its citizens.Searching the globe for quality amusements and well...The 2008 Red Bull Flugtag!The idea here is to push your homemad… Read More

I don't exactly know when I became the smartest guy on the jobsite.Maybe it's my quick wit and stunningly studious good looks.Or maybe it's my "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt.I can't be sure.Whate… Read More

I've been searching the internet for the perfect man-meal.Something we all can appreciate.Something every man, regardless of age, race, or super-hero preference, can say they agree on… Read More

I don't think I like being told by my local drinking establishment when to be happy.Sometimes I go in, not happy at all.And 2 for 1 draft beer and well drinks, ain't gonna change that.#1. I… Read More

Keepin it simple. Keepin me sane.Rock Solid Household advice.Time saving tips.Words to live by.In my kingdom, the only breakfast question is, "Do you want your Pebbles -Fruity or Cocoa?"Simp… Read More

Jammin wieners down your throat is not only a sport, it's a competition...and it makes mama so proud.Billed as "The Rematch II - this time it's personal," because, let's face it, what's mor… Read More

The store was a mess,from the workmen you see,A Dunkin' Donuts kiosk,being installed - just for me.The weeks flew past,as I awaited the day,that creme-filled goodness,would be here to stay.T… Read More

In keeping with our long standing tradition as the "freak show state", Florida has once again not let me down. We are still the home of the "worlds ugliest dog" champion.This is Gus. Grand c… Read More

Dear AppleI would like to congratulate you on your sucess with electronic devices such as the i-pod and the newer i-phone. You have brought some pretty cool technology to everyday devices an… Read More

Summer has arrived like a Buffalo herd crossin a Croc stream, and the kiddies are probably already gettin bored. Well friend, have I got a deal for you!12 feet in diameter, like a gajillion… Read More

Good news! Red Wings are Stanley Cup champions!!!Bad news! No hockey for 3 months. Now being a dedicated Tampa Bay Lightning fan, I had no real emotional stake in this.But the Penguins pisse… Read More

If you live in California, cancel your weekend plans!Think about it.Would you rather show up to your boring ass job on Monday and say, "I did a little yard work and then watched reruns of MA… Read More

Love bugs.Or is it Lovebugs.These little sex-crazed bastards are everywhere. Flying around like a two-headed lab experiment gone wrong. Decorating car fronts, radiators, and anything that th… Read More

Thanks to Ken at the home office, my computer thing is up and runnin again.Thanks to all of you who DIDN"T click for me in my state of internet despair and allowed me to plummet down the ran… Read More

Here they come,Walkin down the street,Get the funniest looks from,Every one they meet.....Hey, hey...thaaat's enough.The Monkees are loose!There is an APB out in Tampa for the Monkeys.They e… Read More

Not to go too political on ya.But I can't resist.The Florida State Senate is voting on the "glands" bill. (Nice name 'eh?). I suppose now that health care and budgetary shortfalls are taken… Read More

Visiting this place after almost 3 years made me realize I'd lost my funny. Sense of humor smashed like a Dukes of Hazzard lunchbox at a Star Trek convention..My therapeutic outlet to poke f… Read More

Technology has ruined the youth of our country.Yeah, I said it.They are laaazzy.They spend their time on-line or attached to a video game, instead of doing their duty - as kids.Bein' laaazzy… Read More

There's nothing to eat around here.Nothing good anyway.And since I'm all out of bacon, I'll have to improvise.I need something different, something fresh.The problem is that there will never… Read More

As amazed as I am with the whole Olympic thing, I just can't seem to get past it...One lingering question. Like, with aallll these cats in the world, why does no one ever see them, uh.. doin… Read More