There's nothing to eat around here.
Nothing good anyway.
And since I'm all out of bacon, I'll have to improvise.
I need something different, something fresh.
The problem is that there will never be anything new to eat.....EVER.
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Kinda sad.
Somebody on this planet has caught, picked, speared, trapped, shot, grown, hooked, and clubbed everything there is to eat.
Then they baked, deep fried, basted, char-broiled, nuked, barbecued, blackened, double-boiled, steamed, or swallowed it whole.
It seemed that our last hope was that those doofus t.v."survivalists" would find some new species of delicious aardvark in the rain forest or at least some Antarctic caterpillar that would liven up the taste buds.
But no.
Everything they've found is either disgusting, poisonous, or tastes like chicken.
I've tried chicken. It tasted like chicken.
That's not new.
I think that's why NASA gets so much funding. They're searching for intelligent life in other galaxies,
-so we can eat them.
Oh sure, they say they're conducting valuable experiments which will further advance mankind.
I say they're lookin for food.
I say they're lookin for food.
So until they fricasee a giant squid or saute up some bigfoot,
This is it folks. Dig in.
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