2024-03-02 22:59
I had my guitar with me, and I was walking along a
narrow mountain pass overlooking a lake. It was a windy day, and the guitar kept getting
tugged out out of my hand by the wind. Held to m… Read More
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Hoodyup's Evil Caregiver Notes Blog
hoodyuptheevilcaregiver.blogspot.com
This blog has devolved into a dream journal, for the most part. It started as a toxic repository for my distasteful internal monologue, and it does still function in this capacity to some extent. Enter at your own risk and bring a flashlight; it's dark in here. Prepare to be displeased, if not downright offended by the content. Not a blog for extreme optimists or overly cheerful people. Fellow skeptics, cynics, frustrated creative types and other hopeless romantics welcome.
2024-02-20 03:50
I keep returning to this place in my dreams (not the bed store in Chico where I bought my bed 20 years ago). Actually, I don’t go
anywhere. I’m in my bed in my dreams as w… Read More
2024-02-15 02:55
Walking up my driveway, I could already feel his presence, and my anger began to build. He was always telling me what to do, demeaning me with his most critical commentary. Some of my other… Read More
2024-02-15 00:26
E____, My dearest, dearest friend. You mean the world to me. I am certain you already know how I feel about you, so words are unnecessary at this point. I want you to know that, were i… Read More
2024-02-03 02:44
My friend E____ was with me in Lake Isabella. She was staying at my place, which I have to assume would’ve been Gracie and Bill’s old property. She had made a new friend and was… Read More
2024-01-30 15:35
I have a vague recollection of a dream in which I was with my friend E___ at a waterpark. It wasn't the chlorinated, baby-blue, slippy-slide kind, but a more rugged version, with an island a… Read More
2024-01-29 16:43
Here are a few scraps of dreams that I can't find a home for, so I'm tossing them all into a casserole. There won't be any binders or common themes, just individual ingredients. Walking… Read More
2024-01-22 06:23
Last night I dreamed. I also woke up four times, and my memory only permits a brief window between dreaming and the writing of these reports. I've tried writing my stuff down imme… Read More
2024-01-15 21:00
I don't dream much at night it seems. I guess my mind occupies itself enough with such things during the day, so at night it just wants to sleep. Occasionally, however, there will be little… Read More
2024-01-12 00:54
2023-12-30 23:28
I dreamed my friend E____ and I were sitting on the couch in her living room, and her landlady, who for reasons of legality I will only refer to as The Hedgehog, was sitting on a recliner. T… Read More
2023-12-27 23:54
There is a pattern to the gaps between my postings on this blog. It is probably safe to surmise that if I'm not posting, I'm either too
bored and have nothing to say, or I am out having th… Read More
2023-11-25 18:03
I don’t want toI don’t want to confine youDefine youUndermine youI don’t want to blur your visionOr make you less completeChange the way you eatI don’t want to… Read More
2023-11-12 06:59
In the Winco parking lot, as I was pushing my shopping cart toward my car, a silver Tahoe with tinted windows pulled up next to me. The driver rolled down the passenger window and lean… Read More
2023-11-10 19:30
Like the giant pinwheel of fun that is my life, my dreams seem to revolve around a central theme. This circular expenditure of energy, this blustery display of frivolity that is me, fu… Read More
2023-11-09 18:55
Me: Good morning. I have a question. I hope it's not too personal. Let me know if it is. Here goes:As an AI, how is it that you can approximate empathy? I am a human (debatable)… Read More
2023-11-06 19:16
I was wandering the streets of Paradise in my dreams last night. Wandering, but not without purpose. I had a vague notion that I needed to get somewhere. The purpose never fully reveal… Read More
2023-11-05 21:41
I fell down an AI rabbit hole after I asked Bing Chat to generate a picture of a passion flower vine on a dead oak tree. They did such a good job, I asked them to analyze my stupid email and… Read More
2023-11-04 23:19
This sadly defining early formative moment might explain a lot. I've been doin' this fucked up shit since I was runnin' around in toughskins.Sunday, January 14, 1973The Midnight Cowboy … Read More
2023-11-03 20:18
I can just feel it in my bonesMy angry face, stomach muscles, acid mouthSpewing out crap like this. What am I supposed to do, wise Buddha?Sit with it, sit in this shit?Great plan.I'll t… Read More
2023-11-02 21:04
Hi _____,** Note: I keep re-reading this, and it gets more convoluted each time. I realize I say a lot of dumb, rambling things, make some outrageous statements and whatnot, and yet, rather… Read More
2023-11-02 17:25
Yuba City Honda is a like a family. You don't quit family. Like the mafia, the only way out is death. It was always the same. An ex-employee would be going about their business, enterta… Read More
2023-11-02 08:35
Someone, somewhere is reading this, why,I'll never know. … Read More
2023-11-02 03:05
Warnings and disclaimers: To all new and returning blog readers (sticky)
I
needed to make this a permanent sticky post, so that it would be the
first thing
anyone sees when they visi… Read More
2023-11-01 16:19
In the absence of any dreams about which to write, gripes are usually what come to mind. I don't have anything to offer in that department. Nothing bursting today, no drama to spill. T… Read More
2023-11-01 06:31
10/30/23 1:38 AM Everyone has a story, and every story begs to be told. If only to one
person, if only to the wind, someone needs to tell the story, and
someone needs to hear it. I f… Read More
2023-11-01 06:21
Good Morning, Singapore. Welcome back, me. I never went anywhere, but I guess I feel the need to re-introduce myself. For today, that is, I can't say who will be sitting in this chair t… Read More
2023-10-30 08:41
----I wish I hadn't sent that email.I sounded really stupid in it.You needed space, not an idiotic treatise on -- I don't know what.My tone was horrible, just the worst. Ego… Read More
2023-10-29 19:34
Sorry, Blog, but it occurred to me that, like a fidgety grandchild, "I never write, never call--unless I want something." I should have been keeping a mood journal, or at least wr… Read More
2023-10-28 18:42
Well, good is a relative term at best, isn't it? I'm going to go with this ship metaphor until it runs aground and the waves batter the hull to a few barnacled bits on the shore. Nice… Read More
2023-10-27 21:10
...(more ellipses...and parentheses, sorry) I called my psychiatrist, reporting increased agitation, irritability, suicidal thoughts, impulsivity, rage -- all the fun stuff you ex… Read More
2023-10-27 07:40
&nbs&hell…Read More
2023-10-25 15:55
Sorry, Singapore. No water from my well today, so no posty-posty. For now Read More
2023-10-25 07:58
Day 24
Take a song or poem (either written by you or someone else) and run it
through a translator for a different language. Translate the result from
the new language back to the ol… Read More
2023-10-25 07:36
Day 23
Pick any cause that is of great importance to you (stray animals, lack
of access to clean drinking water, refugees trying to escape war, etc.).
Write a song from a humanitaria… Read More
2023-10-23 05:49
Day 21
Think of the last party, music festival, or concert you went to where you had a good time. Write lyrics about your experience.Rock On, TomIt was just another cow town stop… Read More
2023-10-23 05:44
Day 22
Replay events of a natural disaster you heard of, watched on the news,
or that you have experienced. Create song lyrics about what happened.The wind was howlingThe lights went… Read More
2023-10-21 04:54
Day 17
Use lyrics to describe your ideal romantic partner/soulmate.In case it wasn't obvious...For My Best Friend 5 foot 10 and a half, standing at attentionCat green eyes, chestnut hai… Read More
2023-10-21 03:37
Day 20
Assess your progress. Take the time to polish off the lyrics of any song
you have managed to complete or try to finish ones that you have
started but have failed to complete.This ju… Read More
2023-10-20 19:24
Day 19
Think of your greatest fear. Imagine that you finally confront it. Write
lyrics about how you imagine the events unfolding in your mind. Take
care to write your lyrics in a ta… Read More
2023-10-19 06:59
Day 9
Think about your first real kiss. Write lyrics describing how it made you feel.First Kiss?Sitting on my bed, chewing gumThrift store men's shirt, hair like CatwomanI don't know h… Read More
2023-10-19 06:29
Day 8
Write lyrics about a secret crush you had in high school that you
haven’t seen in years and often wonder what would have happened if you
had expressed your feelings… Read More
2023-10-19 06:03
Day 7
Take the first line of your favorite song. Replace the verbs and nouns.
Discard the original line and write entirely new lyrics to support the
new line you created. Examp… Read More
2023-10-19 02:42
Day 10
Assess your progress. Take the time to polish off the lyrics of any song
you have managed to complete or try to finish ones that you have
started but have failed to complete.O… Read More
2023-10-18 16:42
Day 18
If you happen to keep a diary, pick an entry of an eventful day and turn
it into song lyrics. Don’t have a diary? Look up public diaries such as
The Open Diaries o… Read More
2023-10-16 16:12
Day 16
If you write poems, pick one of your favorites and turn it into a song.
If you don’t have poems of your own, pick one you have heard or learned
in school that you… Read More
2023-10-15 15:38
Day 15
Think of a bad dream you had that has remained stuck in your mind. Write
lyrics surrounding the events and/or what you think it all means.Pipes leaking water under my houseIf i… Read More
2023-10-15 00:16
I was a prisoner, incarcerated in a high security facility. Cement and bars, pale green paint, guards to escort you everyplace. Of course, fights would still break out, and peopl… Read More
2023-10-15 00:06
Day 14
Call ahead to find out what kind of day a friend, family member, or
co-worker might be having. Write lyrics relating to how they described
it and any wish they mig… Read More
2023-10-13 17:02
Day 13
Write lyrics about a place you want to visit. Think about its
attractions, people, history, etc. and how being there will make you
feel.Cosmic Muffin Protocol If you see… Read More
2023-10-12 16:14
Day 12
Write lyrics about a place you have visited where you had a really great time. Once upon a time, before all of this, I carried around with meAll of the recipes, seasoning packets… Read More
2023-10-11 16:09
Day 11
Think of the last news story you read, watched, or listened. Write some
lyrics about how it impacted you, negatively or positively, on an
emotional level. &nb&hell…Read More
2023-10-06 16:53
Day 6
Write lyrics relating to a movie that you have watched, whether about
the protagonist, the villain, a standout supporting actor, or the plot. Workday in LA LA m… Read More
2023-10-06 08:06
SNAFU is an acronym that is widely used to stand for the sarcastic expression Situation normal: all fucked up.
It means that the situation is bad, but that this is a normal state of
affair… Read More
2023-10-05 20:31
Day 5
Pick one or more songs from your playlist and re-write all the lyrics. Blundering and Proud Blundering and proudToilet seat made of goldAngry and loudAs the crowdsChan… Read More
2023-10-04 16:41
Day 4
Pick a character from your life who has had a major impact on your
development. Write a song about him or her, whether about their
struggles, success story, relationships, etc… Read More
2023-10-03 16:27
Day 3
Write a story or random phrases that come to mind and then use the
cut-up technique to come up with some song lyrics. The cut-up method,
made famous by David Bowie and ot… Read More
2023-10-02 19:52
Day 2
From the lyrics you wrote the day before, edit the content to come up
with at least one structured song (verse – chorus – verse – chorus).
Like a cut flower, waiting… Read More
2023-10-01 18:25
The surprise, of course, is that there is an October. I was prepared for the window to be closed and for the proprietor to say, "Sorry, we're fresh out of months." Lucky me, they still… Read More
2023-08-19 17:36
Reasons from most picked categories of responses to my letters: A. You're a nice guy, but... 1. It's too soon. I'm still all broken up inside. I don't want any kind o… Read More
2023-08-19 17:36
I dreamed I was workin' on cars...again. Yuba City Honda...again. I would say that I ought to be getting paid for all my time spent there while dreaming, however, the quality of my wor… Read More
2023-07-21 14:36
I've become out of practice recollecting much from my dreams of late, so pardon me if I get off to a shaky start. Let's see how much I can remember.I was once again working at YC Honda. Well… Read More
2023-06-09 15:06
Yesterday, as I was driving to my dental appointment, I got a text from April. She just wanted to say "hi." She'd spotted me driving through Marysville, and she identified me as wearing a bl… Read More
2023-06-09 14:59
In the world of people getting together, someone is always getting shafted while another person trades up, turning in their old lease for a shiny new model. Dave was Sharon's ex-boyfriend, a… Read More
2023-06-02 15:32
I dreamed Sharon and I were knee deep in the healthcare/public library system. In my dream, the two were a combined agency, and nurses/librarians pulled double duty as health care practition… Read More
2023-05-30 03:55
I was attending the funeral of a disabled boy named Timmy. The family was one familiar to me from my cult days, the Gervais family. Carey Gervais was a roommate of mine and the person respon… Read More
2023-05-19 22:50
Working as an apprentice at a Greek restaurant was challenging, but not without its rewards. It was an outdoor venue, so floor cleaning wasn't required. Picnic tables were scattered along a… Read More
2023-05-13 14:11
I dreamed I was being vetted as part of a welcoming committee for Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers. He was always a fave of Sharon's, and being from Chico, he attended Butte Colle… Read More
2023-05-13 14:01
I dreamed Sharon and I were out on a date at a drive-in movie theater, only there was no movie and no other cars, and it was just her and I making out in the back seat of a 1960s Ameri… Read More
2023-05-04 20:28
I dreamed last night, but I didn't remember it until later in the
day, so details are sparse. I was at a large event put on by Yuba City
Honda, some kind of annual party for all… Read More
2023-05-04 20:24
I dreamed I had two black friends, and we decided to go to the beach in Santa Monica. From our starting point at 1124 Bay St., we headed down the hill, joking and throwing a basketball back… Read More
2023-04-22 04:56
I dreamed my Mom, Greg and I were having a family discussion about the virtues of charity. The way family discussions usually went was that I was in trouble for something or other, and they… Read More
2023-04-19 06:20
I dreamed I was walking in a mountain valley, and I came across a little creek unostentatiously winding its way the grassy meadow. People had spoken of this creek as having some of the best… Read More
2023-04-17 06:40
When I first arrived at Orange County's most infamous deviant travel destination, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. If Disneyland is billed as the happiest place on earth… Read More
2023-04-17 06:27
I woke up on the operating table with my hospital gown pulled up to my chest and a surgeon asking me "Do you feel this?" as they sliced into my leg. "Yes," I said. "But my pain was in m… Read More
2023-04-13 04:58
I thought I'd use this format today, since I have a lot of disparate thoughts to squeeze out of the tube, and I don't know where they are all going to land. I'm not sure if I want them… Read More
2023-04-11 06:38
Sharon visited me again last night, and I didn't want to lose the wonderful feeling, so I re-entered the dream several times even after waking up to go to the bathroom.In my dream, we were m… Read More
2023-04-08 07:38
I dreamed I was at Bob and Hannelore Orricks's place in Paradise. It was a different location, slightly up the hill from their place on Bennett Road. I had borrowed their truck to go check o… Read More
2023-04-04 06:14
Only a few details to report. Cats gotta eat, and I can't spend all day at this. Here's the raw data:I dreamed that I was out with a group of friends, and the intention was to attend a dinne… Read More
2023-04-01 08:33
I dreamed I was at a fancypants sleepaway party, the kind attended by pedigreed people named Biff or Chazz, long on titles and short on courtesy and common sense. I had a girlfriend, also bo… Read More
2023-03-30 07:10
A lot of stuff happened leading up to the end of this unfulfilling dream, but all I'm left with is the frustration that I get when some well-intentioned friend of mine pulls a bonehead move… Read More
2023-03-30 06:47
I dreamed I had a guest staying with me, Chelsea from group, a bright young quadriplegic with the endearing habit of interrupting whoever might be speaking with the most incisive questions… Read More
2023-03-27 05:29
I dreamed I was in an staying in an apartment with my cousin Tim and a ladywho was a few years younger than us. She had dishwater blonde curls and a face that looked like rough hewn cedar, r… Read More
2023-03-25 15:06
I may be going back too far with these regressions. For one, I keep having a hard time visualizing the white light. All I get is a field of empty space with distant specks of many faint colo… Read More
2023-03-25 06:36
I was running with a pack of shirtless skinheads, punks from a band I used to play with in the 80s. Rick Johnson was the leader. At this point they were more like a nomadic group of feral th… Read More
2023-03-25 05:05
I had difficulty imagining the white light. I was only able to muster up the faintest of light, always a purple mist, just the beginning of luminescence. I got relaxed enough, finding an ope… Read More
2023-03-23 06:26
I was beginning to feel unsafe on my own property. My neighbor Jeff, the retired correctional officer, was living on the Hutchinson property to the east and had taken up target shooting. He'… Read More
2023-03-23 06:22
This is a song I wrote in 1989 about an old lady I met while looking for an apartment and planning my escape from the cult. I went looking for an apartment the other day,Cause I… Read More
2023-03-22 05:49
I dreamed I was taking a meeting with Mario Lopez, TV host and actor of Saved by the Bell fame. We were sitting at a lunch table with Robert Redford in one of LA's lesser known eateries. It… Read More
2023-03-21 06:38
I dreamed I was in an auditorium with wooden bleachers. A crowd was gathering, and the seats were beginning to fill up. In the center of the auditorium was a long row of antique cabine… Read More
2023-03-18 05:04
My mom, Greg and I have been taking some strange ocean themed vacations lately, it seems. The latest one involved us loosely following the American Idol crew along their itinerary in s… Read More
2023-03-14 01:12
Bad things always happen when I play hooky from work, but I had that "you deserve a break today" feeling, so I decided to take my chances. I packed up my Fender Twin and decided to park out… Read More
2023-03-12 01:05
Sometime close to Thanksgiving 2011, I was in the midst of caregiving hell and just beginning my version of what people like to call a spiritual journey. I remember having a conversation w… Read More
2023-03-08 19:04
Here's my tip: If a kid asks you to go on a boat trip with them, and it turns out to be a canoe, pass. I dreamed I was standing on the veranda of a seaside hotel overlooking the h… Read More
2023-03-01 03:51
In last night's fever dream, I was hiking with Emery in a mountainous ravine, somewhere in the upper elevation of Angeles National Forest. It was a treacherous path we'd chosen, and by the m… Read More
2023-02-28 01:21
Uncle Steve should never leave me alone with his stuff. The last time he did that, I wound up rearranging his room, aided by some hookers he'd paid to look after me. This time, I wound… Read More
2023-02-27 07:19
I dreamed I was down in the valley doing some business at an auto body shop, and I ran into Denise. She was thinking of trading in her 2004 Civic for a newer model, and she wanted me t… Read More
2023-02-25 06:44
I started my first day of class at the university at dawn. Wanting to insure that I got a good seat, I made it a point to get there early, before the big rush of students. So early, in fact… Read More
2023-02-23 17:53
OK, so it was a date of some kind, and I dreamed about it, but it hardly qualifies as a "dream date." For one, I was a third wheel, there in some kind of intermediary capacity, possibly as a… Read More
2023-02-21 03:35
Mom, Greg and I were taking a vacation by the ocean, and one night, we were out on the beach watching the phosphorescent glow of the surf during a seasonal red tide event. I was throwi… Read More
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