2018-08-04 22:28
I feel the need to explain why I’ve neglected the blog for so long. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. This is a complicated, multilayered mental illness I’ll have all my l… Read More
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Cattywampus Universe Blog
Cattywampussite.WordPress.com
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patreon
universe
writing
gentlemen
pain
daydreaming
cattywampus universe
anniversary
oral sex
love
My thoughts and memories of all things sexual.
2018-05-13 18:03
It’s a normal day, except it’s Mother’s Day AND my 12th Anniversary. On this auspicious day, I’m staying in bed the entire day. So, as I’m watching Markip… Read More
2018-05-10 14:46
Yes, I have a Patreon page. I’m trying to get upgrade money to make the blogs grow. I’d LOVE and appreciate any and all help. Patreon.com/zezrie Read More
2018-05-07 14:55
I’d like to give a few words of advice: don’t be this man…
Gentlemen, the best move you can have in your sex arsenal is oral sex. Do it right, you’ll have a pleased… Read More
2018-05-05 05:57
Wow it’s been 7 months since I last visited my little domain. I’ve been busting my ass on my other blog, Jealous Sounds, and it’s now a grind. So, you’ll see me more… Read More
2017-10-30 02:31
Stephen Toulouse, or rather Stepto, passed away Friday. He was a man of great stature in many spheres: XBox, cyber security, nerd culture. We Twitter followed each other, I never got… Read More
2017-10-12 00:57
I’m currently it the process of updating this blog, but need some help. If you like what I post, feel free to join me. I hope to be able to upgrade this in short order. Feel free to v… Read More
2017-09-21 14:19
I’ve neglected this blog for far too long, with Jealous Sounds taking up my writing attention. I’ve decided to switch it up a bit, and post on sexual topics in addition to my pe… Read More
2017-04-06 01:08
Pain without love
Pain, I can’t get enough
Pain, I like it rough
‘Cause I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all…
-3 Doors Down-
There comes a time in every slut&rs&helli…Read More
2017-02-19 17:12
This week is the 1 year anniversary of Cattywampus Universe coming into existence. In the beginning, I thought I had a finite amount of time to tell the story of my crazy life. Turns out li… Read More
2017-02-10 13:01
Sex toy makers, I challenge you to make a vibrating wand that I can’t break. Once upon a time, I had a Hitachi Magic Wand that lasted six years. After it finally wore out, I went thro… Read More
2017-01-16 07:06
For three long, tedious, arduous years, I stood under a big bucket of suck called an ALS diagnosis. For those of you unsure of what this is, Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis destroys your moto… Read More
2017-01-04 18:36
Some things look luscious
from a distance.
They look like
an exquisite Raphael painting,
with sensuous lips
you want to run the tips
of your fingers over,
before your own lips
replace them… Read More
2017-01-02 07:14
The one question brought up most from vanillas about swingers and polyamory was how could I stand to see other women all over “my” man. Was jealousy a problem? I found it cultu… Read More
2016-12-28 02:51
“Pure Lust is an oxymoron”
Carrie Fisher
2016 will always be the year that we almost lost Culture. So many musicians, actors, Icons taken; some not surprising (Fidel Castro was… Read More
2016-12-21 15:48
So the shortest day came, and the year died,
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the wint… Read More
2016-12-16 06:56
Pubic hair: nature’s way of keeping the vajay warm. For some freaky damn reason, completely hairless coochy is the expected norm nowadays. So much, in fact, that a whole generation of… Read More
2016-12-13 06:13
The new 50 Shades movie comes out in the next few weeks…great. Another incessant barrage of misinformation about BDSM. More confusion about what constitutes consent, and what is abus… Read More
2016-12-10 03:42
The time I was a sex worker happened to intersect with the era of custom motorcycle TV shows. Choppers were everywhere, and all the rich douchebags at the time had to have one. None of them… Read More
2016-12-02 05:45
Fidel Castro at long last fell victim to the assassin America could never send, time. To Cubans of all ages, it’s a time of trepidation and hope. Will Raul Castro finally implement th… Read More
2016-11-19 23:19
There’s an old joke among University of Kentucky Basketball fans which goes as follows:
” Do you know what the definition of a Kentucky Pervert is? It’s a person who prefe… Read More
2016-11-02 21:11
Hey gang,
It’s been over six months since I started Jealous Sounds/Cattywampus Universe, and I’m so happy and grateful for the support! It seems y’all appreciate the twiste… Read More
2016-11-01 06:59
Music, for the most part, ducked the muck splatter that is Election 2016. Country music and Ted Nugent notwithstanding, music has taken the lead in fighting the Trump shit show. Black artist… Read More
2016-10-28 11:10
Something needs to be said before I even start. I typically don’t listen to Rap. Thus, I don’t have a detailed genre vocabulary that other music critics have. I do, however, love… Read More
2016-10-22 07:02
During the free for all days, post widowhood and pre sex worker, I fucked a different guy every night. Not bragging, I’m just being honest. There was one guy who stands out, I’l… Read More
2016-10-19 23:16
So, the month is over for my Social experiment into the BDSM subsection, Findomme. If you go by my first hypothesis, that I could become one in one month, I failed. I didn’t have an i… Read More
2016-10-12 22:06
So, Mr. Sub and I got into a short routine of sorts. We’d talk about whatever came up, then I’d go into the slow mind fuck routine. One session was a little play about using a s… Read More
2016-10-01 02:10
My luck held and I found a willing, but experienced, sub to show me the ropes. On a Monday morning, the following conversation occurred. I’m in blue, he’s in gray. All identifyin… Read More
2016-09-26 00:56
Don’t you love the times that, after you think of an idea, help falls from out of nowhere? The very next day after the first Findomme post, I get an Direct Message on Twitter.
”… Read More
2016-09-17 14:50
It’s been a good while since I did a proper post here. I’ve been doing quite bit of digging into BDSM recently. In the middle of my research, I came across a fascinating section… Read More
2016-09-14 00:28
In the past few weeks, I’ve slowly edged back to reading and making friends again in the BDSM world. I’d forgotten how much I had missed it. In the process, I’ve made the… Read More
2016-09-08 19:36
2016-09-03 15:28
2016-09-01 02:00
It shocks me, when I look at the analytics for this blog, where people are reading. It’s international! So please, leave a comment saying hello and where you are from. I’m fascin… Read More
2016-08-30 15:29
Gentleman, take notes… Read More
2016-08-27 18:16
So many friends who otherwise have open minds wonder at the concept of open marriage. Especially my open marriage, which stuns people. How can I stand the thought of Daniel with another wom… Read More
2016-08-27 00:09
2016-08-16 16:12
Do you know what you call a woman who enjoys a lot of sex? Her name.
I find the overuse of the word slut hysterical. Back in the day, the word “slut” was slung at women who fuck… Read More
2016-08-12 03:26
Here lately, I’ve read several articles about the absolute joy of fuck buddies, aka “Friends with Benefits”. Many writers extol the virtues of this type of arrangement as… Read More
2016-08-08 05:43
Just in case anyone was interested, I have another blog I work on that’s close to my heart, Jealous Sounds. I’m trying to get the word out on some up and coming bands that deser… Read More
2016-08-03 20:03
2016-08-02 16:26
There are times in life where the most unlikely people cross your path. As a sex worker, I met several men who fit the bill. These guys led such disassociated lives from the the daytime to… Read More
2016-07-28 04:37
Even though I was a practicing witch for most of my adult life, I never bought the concept of Tantric sex. What I’m speaking of is the extended male orgasm aspect of Tantra. It goes li… Read More
2016-07-18 22:19
Not the “Magda” of the post.I haunt Twitter for an embarrassing amount of time that could be better spent writing. Yesterday, a tweet came up about women asking if something make… Read More
2016-07-12 20:27
My Twitter friend @alendrel brought up a salient point today about my last post: you can have incredible, satisfying sex without orgasms. The prevailing thought is that for it so be “g… Read More
2016-07-11 22:18
It’s 3 am, and you’ve been fucking for a half hour. The sex has been decent, but not spectacular. At this point, you just want to sleep. So, you do your best Oscar performance o… Read More
2016-07-05 23:27
Boy, if you really want a divisive sex talk, get into anal. Either you love or hate it; there is no middle ground. In this post, I’ll be addressing straight anal here. I’m not a… Read More
2016-06-27 03:04
Speaking of Puppypiles, I have a story. At one point, I was attending swinger parties that specialised in puppypiles. It generally started out with a couple or threesome, then it multiplied… Read More
2016-06-23 14:07
2016-06-20 22:33
“Is something wrong
She said
Of course there is
You’re still alive
She said
Oh do I deserve to be?
And is that the question? Oh
And if so, if so
Who answers?
Who answers?”… Read More
2016-06-17 03:16
2016-06-15 16:56
I started giving my first blowjobs way before I lost my virginity. It was simple, painless, and because I wasn’t ready for it, avoided the main event. My boyfriend was as young and gre… Read More
2016-06-10 02:27
Imagine…you just get back from a hot date with you sweetie (or sweeties, sides, whatever). The shoes come off, you might fix a drink or light party favors, but most likely, some music… Read More
2016-06-04 23:23
In the world outside of swinging, there seems to be a tad bit of confusion between the meaning of the words PUPPYPILE and ORGY. An orgy is a group of people having sex in one room, in little… Read More
2016-05-27 04:49
Men are more kindred to me than any female friend I’ve had. It’s easier for me to relate to men. All through school I’d play D&D with the guys and avoid the feminine an… Read More
2016-05-20 20:44
As a Escort that specialized in BDSM, I sometimes received some weird ass requests from clients. If the request was super bizarre, the pay was bigger. The biggest payday I ever got happened… Read More
2016-05-20 04:15
A tweet from my friend BohemianHedonist (@MzPatchouli) gave me this idea. Much love sis!
I’ve arrived at the most awkward age for a woman next to adolescence: middle age. It’s a… Read More
2016-05-17 22:03
2016-05-16 03:34
Now that I’ve knocked out the basics of BDSM, let’s go to the dark side. The UrbanDictionary.com has the best definition of EDGEPLAY: ” Sexual play that is very extreme in… Read More
2016-05-13 00:52
There’s no denying the dark appeal of BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Masochism). It isn’t about being bored with vanilla penis/vagina sex, it’s about control. Real l… Read More
2016-05-09 20:12
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