Now that I’ve knocked out the basics of BDSM, let’s go to the dark side. The UrbanDictionary.com has the best definition of EDGEPLAY: ” Sexual play that is very extreme in nature. Said to be on the edge of safety and sometimes even sanity. Can be very dangerous if not practiced correctly.” Here are a few examples: blood play, Breath play, Total Power exchange (no safe words), extreme humiliation, and Rape roleplay. Obviously, these are types of BDSM play that should never be done by anyone except the extremely experienced. Trust me, if you read some light bondage smut and are interested, bring a silk scarf to bed and leave the dangerous stuff to the pros.
That being said…let us explore my favorite of these, breath play. First, this is NOT Autoerotic Asphyxiation. This is where a solitary person decides to choke themselves to unconsciousness, then masturbate as they wake up. Beyond a doubt, this can be a deadly thing to do, see David Carradine (definitely) and Michael Hutchence (rumored).
Breath play is where the Dom chokes the sub to unconsciousness then fucks them awake, or will choke then release as a game of control. Picture this: you’re the sub, bound or incapacitated. Your Dom puts their hands around your throat, or uses a noose, and squeezes. How long will they let you go without breath? Will you panic, or use your safe word? Alternatively, do they go to edge of you passing out, let go, then start again? The encounter has to be negotiated beforehand for safety. The one time I tried this method, my Dom and I agreed that it would only be 30 minute session, with a safe word. He used his hands to choke off my airway for a minute, then let go. All he whispered in my ear threats of a longer grip. My job as the sub was to let go of my fear, relax, and trust my Dom. The connection you feel with the Dom intensifies during the play. After the session, we ended up making gentle love to come down from the experience.
The variation of breath edgeplay is the choke/fuck awake scenario, my preferred method. After being bound, my Dom used his hands to gently squeeze my neck until I passed out. Gradually, as I floated back to wakefulness, I started to feel a slow heat. As that heat spread all over, I realized I was being fucked, well. The heat I was feeling exploded to a huge orgasm.
Thus, Edgeplay..not for the faint of heart. It’s not the weirdest kink in the BDSM playbook, but the most advanced. Tread carefully.