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Microsoft Gives 250K Reward
2009-03-23 07:09
Microsoft last week claimed it's offering a $250,000 reward for information that leads to the arrest of the motherfucker responsible for creating the Conficker internet worm that has fucked… Read More
Dating On The Skids
2009-03-23 06:49
It turns out dating is not as popular as it once was, due to the liquor drenched Blues and Jazz clubs scattered across the U.S. like fermented corn from an angry bull's rectum. Bill Fremont… Read More
Socialism At An All-Time High
2009-03-23 06:41
Buddhism has been slowly traveling the planet, finding a new home every 500 years. It took 500 years for it to find it's way from India to China, another 500 to Japan, and now 500 more to Am… Read More
Hubble Crater Sues Hubble Telescope.
2009-03-08 07:27
Hubble is actually a lunar crater that lies very near the east-northeastern section of the Moon, with a colongitude of 275° at sunrise. For years it has been ignored, but not today. A La… Read More
Irish Scribes  Ignore Potato Surplus
2009-03-08 07:11
Anglo-Irish playwrights and social thinkers are not eating as many potatoes as people had been asserting for years. "The weird thing is they've been drinking themselves into a stupor and com… Read More
Sun's Corona Pissed Off
2009-03-08 06:42
The Sun's Corona has been pissed off for years, claim futurists. "It has been flaring out more and more as of late, like a baboon in estrus, or the splayed-out hole of a go-go boy at a sex c… Read More
Wikipediaphiles Encouraged
2009-03-07 08:52
Wikipedia has finally opened it's doors to researching pedophilia. "We weren't sure about our decision in the beginning, but once we knew the posted images of nude children weren't going to… Read More
Rhetoric On The Rise
2009-03-07 08:31
A new language has been issued by the Department of Internal Affairs in order to deal with miscreants, and ne'er-do-wells in relationship to fundamentally dead issues like water, power, and… Read More
Global Standards Collaboration Collapses
2009-03-07 08:16
The GSC, or Global Standards Collaboration has collapsed under the weight of their members' inability to agree on what strip club to attend in Bangkok, Thailand."Every single fucking America… Read More
TTC Under Fire For Banning Cell Phones
2009-03-07 07:56
The TTC, or Telecommunication Technology Committee, established in 1985, has finally come to the conclusion cell phones are a waste of time. "We decided, after years of research no one, and… Read More
2009-03-07 07:37
People against the introduction of planes to modern living are outraged. They have reacted by throwing pies, containers of their own blood, mixed with urine, vomit, and excrement at pilots… Read More
Omar Al-Bashir Goes Napster-Assed Ravy
2009-03-07 07:19
The International Criminal Court issues an arrest warrant for President of Sudan Omar al-Bashir (pictured) on charges of listening to rave music during an AU Summit meeting, and crimes agai… Read More
Voyager Copes With Stowaways
2009-03-07 07:02
Several splinter groups from various electronic cultures have commandeered the Voyager 1 and 2 satellite probes. The news shocked the nation as it was just recovering the Heaven's Gate cult… Read More
Washington Found To Have Been A Woman
2009-03-07 06:30
In recent years students at Columbine University have discovered through damming forensic evidence that George Washington was actually a woman."We now know why he had such liberal policies s… Read More
Chickens Discover Themselves Delicious!
2009-03-07 05:12
Chickens have discovered that they themselves are delicious! Since ninety-five percent of Americans are vegetarians now, chicken producers around the United States have been feeding their ch… Read More
AMA Recalls Cigars
2009-03-07 04:58
The American Medical Association, in tandem with the American Psychiatric Association, has recalled millions of cigars, not on the grounds they cause cancer, but on the more dangerous ground… Read More
Olympic News Weekly
2009-02-23 01:45
The Olympic Committee has finally decided to launch it's own magazine, the content of which will feature the newest Olympic winners, Olympic hopefuls, and past winners. One of their previous… Read More
Trains Proving Ground For Lads
2009-02-21 09:02
Trains have become a proving ground for serial rapists, says one Idaho reporter. "There seems to be no reason why drunk lads are carting anything with a pulse onto trains and feeding the fre… Read More
2009-02-21 04:11
Right-Wrong radicals, sick and tired of rich people taking from the poor, and poor people taking from the rich, have decided to forgo currency altogether."We can't seem to agree on what to d… Read More
2009-02-21 03:56
Red squirrels in the United Kingdom have all but gone extinct due to the unholy practices of Brown and Grey squirrels. These deadly creatures of the night have been plotting against their il… Read More
2009-02-19 02:49
After years of mind-numbing boredom, there are shows out that people finally want to watch. Shows about people, people who love people, and people who love dogs, and cats.News programs, whic… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
The Entertainment Is War Project is now closed. You may direct any further attention on www.thewrongcontext.com for all future communications."If you're not getting enough market share, you… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Thee first Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in the world beneath the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland, has been discovered to be a garbage scowl for scientists, one report states."The… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
What would you do with a WHOLE million dollars? Why, rent out the home you couldn't afford for 1.2 millions dollars to tenants who will, eventually, steal your television, the bathroom and k… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
Hookers will be glad to know they have finally been given their day. Sex addict and multi-billionaire Rex Bartiones has finally mandated his subsidiary ICANT be the proving ground for sex ca… Read More

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