When I had Elliott I went for acupuncture to treat my Postnatal Depression. It was my desperate attempt to not go down the medication route, and it worked really well. I found more strength in those sessions than I ever thought possible. 

When I had Toby, it was a no brainer! Go again, within 3 days of Toby being born I was booked in, but unfortunately it didn’t have the desired effect. 

Even in the haze of what I experienced, I will never forget the Advice I was given when I said with a lump in my throat and tears pulling around my eyes “I think I am going to need to see the Dr about taking antidepressants because I really feel like I’m getting worse.”
“Well, if you do take antidepressants only stay on them for a month! They’re nasty things that poison your body and mind.  You’ll end up addicted and then you’ll be in a worse place than you are right now.”
I was told by someone with no medical training. She told gave me information that ultimately kept me from taking them. I kept telling myself I absolutely couldn’t go down that route! I tried vitamins, I tried changing my diet, I tried mindfulness, but nothing worked.
I’m not one to hold onto things. I tend to be pretty good at letting go and moving on, but I’ll never forget the terrible, potentially life altering information I was told when I truly was at my most vulnerable. I took the advice of someone who had absolutely no idea of how antidepressants work. Advised to stop using them within a month, but they take at least a month to start taking effect. I felt my life lines for getting better shrinking before my eyes. 
Since being very open about my experience with Postnatal Depression I’ve received quite a few messages from women who have been through similar, if not the same. We’ve talked about how it’s felt, the emotions, the rawness of it and it’s given me comfort. I have felt less alone, I’ve felt empowered to talk about it more.  It’s given me an insight into how other people have dealt with it, the advice they’ve been given, good or bad. It’s been healing in a weird kind of way. 
I am not trained, I don’t have the capability to take anything away, I can’t make it better but I’ve been able to make those women feel less alone and in turn, they’ve made me feel less alone too.
Anyone reading this who is struggling like hell to get better – I wish I could take it away. I don’t know you and yet my heart breaks for you. Please don’t suffer in silence, lay the cards on the table. Say it, feel it, cry about it, get angry about it and then take those steps out of the dark. Don’t let anyone else tell you how you feel, or what you should do. When you’re laying at the bottom of that pit, you don’t feel you have the strength to get up, you haven’t got the willpower to take that step, you can’t find the energy to start to climb, you feel you’ve lost your map of how to get out. You have the strength, willpower, energy and the map to find your way back.
I’ll always be there, waiting, not to make it better or take it away but to make you feel less alone.