Ha ha ha ha ha! Excuse me, but I am cracking up. I just saw an ad online for a new kind of Fabulous underwear called New You Slimming Underwear, shown above. As you can plainly see, a woman with a flabby tummy simply pulls on this miracle body suit (only $21.99), and suddenly her tummy is gone!

Oh how fabulous, you can wear it under a form-fitting dress and nobody will know you're actually a porker. It's the latest thing! Only it isn't. I wore one of those back in high school when it was called a girdle and it cost a whole lot less.

And that's why they're called "the good old days."