As no one actually reads my badly typed scribblings, complete with terrible spelling and pointless, puncuation. I have realised that the best place for me is academia. That way I can spend hours in hairsplitting conversation with high minded individuals and garuntee that I get absolutley no work done.

So, the FB has gone back to University. This is more traumatic than you think. I was under the impression that it would involve careering on the infromation-super-highway of knowledge, via a few coffee shops and dozing through lectures. I was wrong.

That old tactic of leaving the book somewhere near the bed and betting on the words making their own way into your head by the time you woke up in the morning - busted. I had to open one. Even worse. I had to open more than one.

The worrying thing is that when I open the books the words decide to swap position and head off in the oposite direction to where logic is suppose to take them. It's as if they decide to hold campaign meetings when the book is closed and carry out their dastardly plan to make me look daft(er) when I get round to staring at them like a man who handed Bernie Madof the keys to the safe.

I also had the impression from my undergrad days that Mature Students had the right to sit in the corner and pontificate in their wise way to the (rather attractive, doe eyed) undergrads as a service to the field of knowledge. This would compensate for the ravages of time and high-carb diet, of course. It was a cunning long-run strategy (see I was awake for at least five minutes of Economics) that was derived by my genius and, as usual, was a noble(read halfwitted) failure.

I have had the opportunity to meet new and varied people from all around the world who have given me such joy. I will be introducing them to you lot later.

More importantly, as we would say in the current economic climate, there is a loss of capital in the FB market and I can say the following quite happily when faced with Potential-Mother-In-Law types:

I am currently unemployed. :)