There are two types of toddlers in this world. Those blue eyed freaks that give up breastfeeding naturally and painlessly. And  Casey Galloway, who required 2 liters of holy water, a muzzle and a figurative ritual slaughter…

To say that Casey enjoyed his Boob is like saying John Lennon had a platonic crush on Yoko,  that dear old Amy Winehouse enjoyed the odd recreational joint, that Charlie Sheen sought deep meaningful encounters with women.To be clear. Casey fucking loved his boob. He loved it like he was 2pac and his boob was the east side.

Casey could not be gently coaxed to remove himself from the boob. For two looooooong years boob was only allowed a 30 cm radius from his pursed little lips. Casey did not care if boob was tired, if boob needed the loo, if boob wanted to walk outside,  If boob needed to bathe, Casey needed to be in the bath on boob… Boob was his drug and boob was demanded on tap.

Eventually the time came where friends and family and scarred male friends of boob decided an intervention was needed and precise plans and strategies where put to motion. The great boob withdrawal of 2017 began on April 18th and it seems pretty likely that they will need to re write the new testament to add Casey’s boob removal chapter in.
So hardcore was this toddler that he managed to howl like an injured Velocoraptor at the dawn of the apocalypse. For hours he wailed, he flung himself to the ground and he flailed like an octopus trying to walk the Siberian desert. He begged, he demanded, he pleaded so hard that both is father and I  secretly were too fucking petrified  to sleep beside him for fear of be-headings and other demonic practices that can only be likened to the vintage exorcism movies… Instead we rocked back and forth at the edge of his bed/torture chamber whilst humming soothing Catholic hymns under our breathe and stress eating our way through the Easter egg stash.

Still on it raged. But by the grace of Tom Cruise or hipster Jesus we managed to survive the night.

To cut a long horror story short, 10 days in and we are startimg to see light at the end of the boob tunnel. Boobs are being counselled to actually stay in t shirts, nipples are being pleaded with to return from droopy ice-cream cone/aged porn star form to normal shape.

These days all that our reformed boob addict does is stare longingly at his boob and mutter forlornly, Bye Bye  boo..

case file photo.1.0-  Actual footage of consumed bunny.