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True forgiving must be forgetting

Forgiving is the art of letting go of the Hurt and pain that you have endured at the hand of another person. It means that you have finally overcome these feelings and don’t hold a grudge against the one who made you feel it.

In today’s time, people often end up hurting each other which can often leave people feeling wounded or angry. Have you ever had a loved one betray you? Did someone close took advantage of your generosity and kindness? If yes, then you have been a victim of hurtful gestures and might still be reeling from hurt and anger over such situations.
However, you cannot hold on to these feelings anymore if you want to live peacefully and happily.

Why is forgiving important?

A lot of you might wonder what the point of forgiveness is if people will just repeat the same actions to hurt you but you cannot think this way if you want to become truly free and light. Many people think they have forgiven someone when they are actually holding a silent grudge which resurfaces from time to time.

You get an opportunity to get back at someone and you take it then you haven’t truly forgiven the person. You are still chained by how they make you feel which is not healthy for you in the long run.

Some people also get obsessed with their tormentor and are always seeking opportunities to take a revenge. If you are one of such people then you haven’t forgiven the other person and are still controlled by their actions.

This can often lead to unresolved feelings and continued resentment can affect your current and future relationships with other people. In fact, if you don’t forgive then you can develop a negative and pessimistic behavior which can make you unsocial among your friends and family.

Apart from forgiving other people for their hurtful and mean actions towards you, it is also important that you forgive yourself for the past mistakes that you have made.
If you don’t forgive yourself then you are giving that incident power over you and will have a tough time to trust yourself again.

How does forgiveness make you feel?

Forgiving is one of the best feelings in the world and it can benefit not only the forgiver but the person who gets forgiven too. Once you forgive yourself and others for the mistakes made in the past, then you can truly move on with your life. When you forgive others, you are not haunted by the memories of the past and are likely to be able to enjoy yourself in the future.

Until you forgive others, you will always feel chained and tormented but the moment you decide to forgive someone, you will feel as a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. This becomes even truer if the person that you need to forgive is yourself.
A lot of us happen to hold ourselves at fault for far too long which can cripple our mind and our elations and can make us feel useless and hopeless. However, once you decide to forgive yourself all that crushing weight gets lifted off your chest and you feel as if you can breathe freely again.

You become happy and content again and are able to form better and trusting relationships with other people. Forgiving is one of the best feelings in the world and can actually liberate you from all your worries and tension.

It has a calming and relaxing effect on both the forgiver and the one who mistreated the forgiver.

Does forgiving mean forgetting too?

True forgiving means forgetting the incident and putting it behind you and not remembering it on a loop. A lot of us say that we have forgiven someone for their vindictive actions but we don’t really mean it. We bring it up later in arguments and fights to hurt the other person and often try to take revenge by performing the same action.
This is not really what forgiving is all about, forgiving means that even when given a situation, you take the high road and choose willingly to not hurt the other person like they hurt you. So it is important that you completely forget in order to truly forgive someone. Once you forget you won’t be held back by the vindictive moments and can honestly move on in the truest sense.

Conclusion

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you are weak, in fact, it means that you are strong enough to look beyond the hurtful actions of the past and genuinely wish to move on with your life. If you feel like you are suppressing your emotions and feelings about a hurtful event then you haven’t really forgiven the person and unless you talk to them and sort it out you can’t ever move on from it.

Forgiveness needs to be given willingly and can only be offered when the time is right. If you try to force it then you would end up hurting yourself and the other person which won’t help anyone in the long run. So try to forgive others and yourself for your mistakes and don’t hold on to all that pain or suffering. However, do it when you are actually ready and not because someone pressuring you to because that forgiveness will be superficial and won’t be honest.

Once you feel that you have moved past an incident, you will be truly able to forgive and move on to live a happy and Contentful life. So forgive and forget and move on with your life.

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This post first appeared on How To Avoid Back Pain Problems From Sitting Too Long, please read the originial post: here

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True forgiving must be forgetting

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