because guess who’s feeling like death again ???

my roommate decided to stay at her boyfriend’s Apartment again tonight so I’ve been chilling in my room alone for over 36 hours which I feel like I would be okay with if I didn’t have cigarettes and things to dwell on

what’s next? will Emmy desert me to live with her sorority sisters too? or will she ditch me to live with her boyfriend? guess we’ll find out!

Emmy used to always be there but since her bf got an apartment not too far away, she’s been spending a lot of time there and I feel like she chooses Josh over me regularly

and I’m conflicted by this because I really like him and Emmy is one of my best friends, but it’s hard not to feel like I’ve become second fiddle when she chooses to spend more time with him over me and she barely even texts me when she’s with him

like I know she cares and I know that she’s not trying to disappear from my life, I just feel weird having been alone for so much time today and I probably won’t see her until the evening tomorrow if even then because I have work so I don’t know & she might go back to his apartment tomorrow too so I don’t care it’s dumb and I’m just upset over details I don’t need to be upset about

I should just do me and let emmy do her

I think part of it also is that I feel like I don’t have friends anymore

carly & char are doing their own thing, they don’t invite me out with them anymore

emmy has josh

my other friends all have their people

and like I have other friends but none of them are here, like they all live in east campus which is far and it’s not like I can call them right now to come over because of the snow that just fell and because it’s so far away that walking would be so impractical

I feel like I will also be in a better Mood if I end up rushing the sorority I am doing informal recruitment for because I clicked so immediately with all of those girls and I like them a lot

I just feel lonely