Malcolm Steadman will dial the suicide hotline in 90 days.

A man drowning in his own mind. Also pancakes. Malcolm Steadman is a completely average everyman whose life goal is to fit in. This, of course, is too much to ask for. Especially considering that he is also prone to paralyzing panic attacks triggered by everything from burnt toast to boredom. Can he win out against the mundane? Can he face the absurd? Bleakly funny in all of the wrong places, Season One of the serial pits Malcolm against his worst enemy: his own eccentricities. Will Malcolm prevail against himself?

…Well, you know what happens in 90 days…

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Existential Terror and Breakfast was written by M.P. Fitzgerald, an author and amateur mad scientist based in Seattle, WA. Originally published as a weekly serial (and told “in real-time”), Season One contains the first 90 days of Malcolm’s plight against himself.

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…and you can get its companion book, The Nihilist’s Horoscope, a bleakly funny horoscope parody for free when you agree to receive his newsletter and join his mailing list.

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