2019-08-21 05:54
I worry about the possibility of desexualization by nature. On a run the feel of my own breasts inside my shirt excites me. I do not desire to be without this ridiculous level of desire. Eve… Read More
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Flux Capacitor Blog
poemsandnovels.blogspot.com
An eclectic site written by a writer, including cultural observations and notes, literary news, book reviews, poetry, health and nutrition information, parenting blogs, links and photos.
2019-08-18 06:11
Every day I am further from the place of hot truth and everything I believe most fervently to be essential for full life for personhood for self-esteem for sanity for emotional health for an… Read More
2018-09-19 19:51
i think you wanted to knowhis moonshine eye, his cliff-noted pasti caught you looking through his pocketsplanting seeds, stabbing your skin on hangnails- he was ripshorn and scarcelyali… Read More
2018-09-15 06:22
at night i write a storyerase the middle and tape together the beginning and endhere we are rememberinghere we are living in rememberinghere we are still in rememberancehere we are, still.it… Read More
2018-05-09 06:49
the rain deconstructs on its ownthe limbs of trees, wings of beesbirds that have flownwhy fail herewhen i am offering it allhairy leg, shaking fingers, limp hairburied in the ground there is… Read More
2017-11-27 03:26
it is the deadening of my nerves that has surprised memore than anythingthe last few years.i continued barreling through my thirties with the sex driveand moods of my twentiesso i didn't exp… Read More
2017-11-11 08:25
in my mind are two images one is a child sitting next to their lower, left legwhich was just then blown offby a bomband the child is reaching out her armsto her father, screaming,b… Read More
2017-11-02 20:11
The Netflix documentary Joan Didion, The Center Will Not Hold, directed by Didion's nephew, Griffin Dunne, begins with the classic snippets of 60's culture: Go Ask Alice blares next to… Read More
2017-10-25 03:18
Halloween night i'll be drunk and un-mothered,all the children monsters on the outside,all the mothers gone.i will have stayed behind,preying on the suburban menthe ones who have sex wi… Read More
2017-10-22 07:11
THE LAST few months I've had no problem falling asleep at night which is really (Jim Carrey reahealhealhealy) not like meWhich I am grateful for.However not grateful for the constant fatigue… Read More
2017-10-22 01:10
things i did not do todaywrite the great american novelwrite any novelwritethings i did todaypost pic of my ass on internet Read More
2017-10-20 01:46
isn't this a great photo? It reminds me of the old days of blogging before I discovered photoshop, before my photos were even lit well. It also makes me happy because there are hardly any p… Read More
2017-08-02 08:02
glowing, facelessthe light shines on my bare, swinging breasts.i write nudei fuck nude, i bathe nude, i vacuum nude.wet, darkthe waves of eternity swing me in pendulum.i am fallingasleep, i… Read More
2017-07-29 08:47
I see a spider crawling near me and I feel reflexive fear, and next automatic protection: protection of the spider from my fear, and my ability to kill it. Other, worse days, I see a spider… Read More
2017-07-23 07:53
watch Egyptian documentarysleepwake latebe with babiesdrink iced espressoeatwork, a littlecleando this, and that, also swimminghusbandgymfamilyfoodbookswritingsocial mediaeatingcleaningfamil… Read More
2017-07-01 05:51
My latest work: An Illustrated Guide to the Process of Opioid OverdoseI was happy to be able to refer Rena Medow to VICE TONIC for the illustrations and to see her amazing work here is grati… Read More
2017-06-11 06:40
she thought of a story when she saw the butterfly, which landed on the back of her daughter's hand and launched immediately. immediately she knew she would never write the story, because bec… Read More
2017-05-31 06:37
all the suffering in the world. i love you. if i can help you, i will. i can't always. but if i can, i will. and i won't make you feel like shit for asking. unless you are an asshole.and lik… Read More
2017-05-25 08:27
i remember everything about you the jeans you wore when we were eighteena chevy nova that smelled like sex and cigarettes and oilgod i loved that caryour teenage room where we firs… Read More
2017-05-01 07:46
We took a family trip, Friday to Sunday, to my good friend Taymar's home. Taymar and Max, her husband, and their two boys, Caspian and Benny. Their home is gorgeous and used to be a ranch ho… Read More
2017-04-29 08:13
Someone I didn't know hardly knewdied. She died, and her name was Meghan, or Megs. She was thirty-six. I have never heard her voice or seen her face in living person. I have seen… Read More
2017-04-19 06:46
The knock on the door came at 9:30pm. I was half naked, my kids asleep. Pulling on sweats, I answered the door with a bad feeling. What else but bad news knocks on your door at 9:30pm? It wa… Read More
2017-04-15 08:14
Ever and I had a blast last nightthat girl is funwe are in that best friend stage. with Lola i got so, so blessed and she stayed that way until just this year, at fifteen. Lola is still my b… Read More
2017-04-12 06:42
The things I've been doing the last two weeks are working. I am feeling again. The two things that have made the most difference are joining a gym, so weightlifting and cardio, and foc… Read More
2017-04-10 02:29
I've had periods of depression throughout my life and now I am in the second month of one that has gone from bad to worse rapidly, scaring me. To scare yourself is hard to do in this stage o… Read More
2017-04-01 04:06
i don't want to learn anything from this / i love you Read More
2017-03-29 06:53
When you love someone romantically, and take a vow to love them in sickness and health, and know they are your person, and can love no other more than you love them, and never had a best fri… Read More
2017-03-27 02:46
Finished draining the last of the bright red blood and the tap is rusty brown blood in spots on tissue and in underwear, taking it with it micronutrients and the heartbeat of the body, iron… Read More
2017-03-15 06:56
I wrote an essay here, if you'd like to read it. If you do enjoy it, please click the little heart shape to the left of the screen, and or share. Thank you! Writers are little without reader… Read More
2017-03-03 06:43
2017-03-01 08:57
The world of Facebook is becoming dangerous to my writing. This is the most pressing issue of my life outside of the obvious, and it's serious, very serious to me, because writing is not onl… Read More
2017-02-28 17:42
The food here is better than you hear. The bread is terrible, terrible–that's true–it's the cardboard wheat bread you can buy for less than two dollars at the Grocery Outlet on M… Read More
2017-02-27 08:32
I pretended like I needed more ice cubes and looked through his recent calls. He always leaves his cell in a charger on the kitchen counter, so I covered with a cabinet open. If he came in… Read More
2017-02-26 08:53
I loved my history teacher, though he was a shitty teacher. He didn't call on boys and girls equally, either, everyone noticed. He called on me often, though, everyone noticed. I got a 69% o… Read More
2017-02-20 01:47
I submitted this twice and it was rejected twice and I'm the laziest so I'm just self pubbing it here now. It's an odd little story that just spilled out of me and I love the thing about it… Read More
2017-02-18 08:34
swan song in swampy summer sheetsa curve of neck, a stapled eye, a shutdoor opens, repeats.march forward face forward legs up gooddolly, bleach those feet and bleat, keepthe hardened wood.sw… Read More
2017-02-16 10:16
2017-02-09 08:51
I came across this photo of Lana Turner while doing some research for my content job and my jaw dropped. I mean, does this or does this not look like Mrs. Carter herself? Read More
2017-01-17 03:07
i would like to be many thingsbut not a martyr mestill along with everythingi am a martyr, seei do what i mustwhat i must is too muchno good wayit's do, or busti bust, i do, and cry, too-ugl… Read More
2016-11-30 09:44
Unsleeping, I read about childhood forgetting, but how it is not-forgetting. It is Alice In Wonderland because we try to describe the Cheshire Cat when all we have seen is the end of his smi… Read More
2016-11-29 08:01
did i let you down?i am so sorry that i did.my face turns redremembering.you emailed me inperfect faithof my internet identity:all encompassing understandingthat would definitely notpreclude… Read More
2016-11-27 00:42
"Do not be ashamed to be tired. You look good when you’re tired. You look like you could go on forever."--Leonard Cohen Read More
2016-11-24 08:49
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and this is one of the most surreal Thanksgivings I remember. I don't remember another. Just this. This, with the Native Americans we are 'celebrating our friendship… Read More
2016-11-12 01:19
i have often wonderedif you had any idea when you pulled your boots on.now that my youngestson is in Texas,i know you did not.Thank you, for your service Read More
2016-11-10 07:23
the saddest birthday i can recall with only the exception of the year my Grandma Elizabeth, Ever Elizabeth's namesake, died. that was the saddest birthday of my life and i did not celebrate… Read More
2016-10-15 06:36
I wanted to tell you that when I wrote this and said everything will be fine when the schedule changes,I was right. The schedule changed, and everything is fine. SO MUCH BETTER THANK YOU BAB… Read More
2016-10-11 16:56
It's amazing how powerful the word pussy is. I think you can read this:I shaved his dickand feel less surprised than reading this:I shaved my pussy.Why does, at least to my ear, the word pus… Read More
2016-10-01 09:52
writing Christmas lists; electronically making Christmas lists: AmazonMr. Curry pulling me onto the bed with him to snuggle; smelling his armpits.Lola and friend jumping from behind pillar a… Read More
2016-09-24 00:50
long ago in girlhoodi found my body could be a placeof escapemy home.my body, a place where i could make marksdivine, worship, leave scar, adore. until i learned, loathethe gathering of fat… Read More
2016-08-29 22:54
2016-08-21 04:11
When your feelings match up with your expectations of your feelings, or others expectations of your feelings, life is much easier.The amount of stress I feel daily, moment to moment, is over… Read More
2016-07-12 06:06
The Guardian- I finally got in The Guardian and then it went a little roughly. I had to comment in the comment section to explain why the story didn't end up making a lot of sense. Still, th… Read More
2016-07-05 02:39
When the thing happened, I was filled with the realization of all my wanting. I want, I want, I want. I am not enlightened although I was much closer, once. I lost the work. I stopped workin… Read More
2016-06-05 23:51
Lola snapped this of me during my now daily afternoon nap. I am in pain all day, and the fatigue goes from being manageable to being bone-deep and grinding. You can see here the swelling in… Read More
2016-05-25 17:03
I was honored to write the remembrance for Ed's Grandpa Nash, a lovely man married 67 years to his sweetheart, Grandma Donna Nash.John Robert NashJohn Robert Nash was born November 2, 1924 i… Read More
2016-05-19 03:14
Over the last six months I've grown progressively sicker. It really started two years ago, but didn't kick into high gear until the last six months. And even then, I didn't see what was happ… Read More
2016-04-18 06:07
This year, April 1-7th is Global Asbestos Awareness Week. I missed the week to post this (obviously) through my own dang fault, (autoimmune and work overwhelm), but this is very important, s… Read More
2016-03-21 19:31
Hello –––––,Thank you for the response! I don't know if I'll be able to get this published since trying to put any information out there that is not completely… Read More
2016-03-17 04:52
You guuuuys. I'm very proud that a story I wrote on the financial cost of endometriosis made the front feature of MarieClaire.com! It's bumped now to the top and another story had taken its… Read More
2016-03-08 00:04
We woke on opposite sides of the bed, the blinds casting slants of sunlight directly in our eyes. In the early hours our daughter had woken us both, whining and climbing over our entangled b… Read More
2016-02-25 07:28
Words are so powerful. If I say 'you magnificent bastard' to my husband, that feels very different than 'you're awesome'. Here's me, feelin myself. I love my tattoo. I love my husband… Read More
2016-02-22 10:24
Three out of my four children- the three that when I started this blog were all still children- are so much older now that they no longer want me to say much about them. Lola is the most ope… Read More
2016-02-10 08:07
Things I am currently, specifically worried about:The decline of my cognitive abilities, more specifically is the decline related to my depression/autoimmune issues or perimenopause, more sp… Read More
2016-02-05 05:57
Mr. Curry and I had such a ribald night last weekend. We got smashed on Jack Daniels, rolled around on a sheepskin rug naked in front of the fireplace, watched a bad movie, fell into one of… Read More
2016-02-03 00:59
Martha Alderson and Jordan Rosenfeld, co-founders of WriterPath Retreats and co-authors of Writing Deep Scenes: Plotting Your Story through Action, Emotion and Theme, are thrilled to in… Read More
2016-02-01 01:33
The terrible thing about depression is the stagnation. It's not pain. It's emptiness. It's not a cancer. It's a void. An ever expanding void, like our universe. One of the worst existential… Read More
2016-01-27 03:18
sLola and I have started a new Vlog series where we talk freely as mother and teen.Watch it here Read More
2016-01-16 02:39
This is Katie, Dakota's 10 week old King Charles spaniel, with Everkins. We babysat the dog for a whole day and Ever was in heaven– they are adorable together. Ever's only known our la… Read More
2016-01-11 10:02
Unable to sleep, watching Transparent with a heating pad on my back and two cats on my stomach, rising at midnight for GMO free chips and a Trader Joe's dip, diet ginger ale; trying to force… Read More
2015-12-05 09:01
I was going to tell you something but now I'm too tired Read More
2015-11-17 05:56
so i finished my novel about a woman having a nervous breakdown and had a nervous breakdown.more later on that.for now,it's simplified.it is:sexyogano this, no that: caffeine, sugar, self sa… Read More
2015-10-12 22:52
2015-09-03 05:34
so say peace of mind, early in the morning, when the birds are out and the sky is blue so say, peace of mind,early in the morningwhere is the dying bird? when the birds all singwhe… Read More
2015-08-28 21:34
Dakota's band LAW dropped their EP on ITunes today: Mild Lawtismor you can buy the hard copy at Long Beach RecordsI cannot express how proud I am of my son or how happy I am for him. To have… Read More
2015-08-24 19:57
i just cut my hair. ten minutes ago in my bathroom. chop chop.i'm filled with a restlessness this August. frustrated with my body, which is struggling all month to find balance and energy. c… Read More
2015-08-15 03:04
Gina Frangellino writes to the bone in this captivating essay in Dame: Did My Best Friend Really Know Me?Dakota's band LAW has merchandise! On making 'black twitter' matter after Fergus… Read More
2015-08-07 04:55
a good girl in my tax bracketwe went swimming because it's August hot hot, Mr. Curry grabbed me by the crotch and lifted me up up out of blue, but stopped because erections are not friendly… Read More
2015-08-03 03:42
hey!i'm almost done my novel.i'm going to have a first draft by end of August.maybe sooner.mr. curry is taking the kids and leaving me alone for an entire day in this house with this co… Read More
2015-06-30 06:31
oh Ever Elizabeth.four years old.you write your name, like this: EvEryou told me, when pulling off your own shirt for the first time, mommy i am taking my own path. i'm going my own way and… Read More
2015-06-22 21:13
Happy Birthday my boy. We celebrated our hearts out yesterday and today is quiet. I am remembering the day you were born. I can never forget.This is a poem I wrote for Dakota years ago.you c… Read More
2015-06-17 19:00
I love Jemima Kirke's presence in culture- hence my Jemima Kirke Pinterest page. This is one of her sisters, Domino Kirke, participating in an awesome series called The What's Underneath Pro… Read More
2015-06-16 08:39
I can't sleep because I'm too excited. I'm excited because I have a poem in Guernica today called Robot Nurse. I'm excited because I have four kids that are all doing really wonderfully in f… Read More
2015-06-09 03:01
Sometimes parenting in the active, the verb parenting, is the simple best.Summer encroaches. The sky is thicker. Stewing in the heat and bright eyes of sun.The greens are greener. They fold… Read More
2015-06-08 02:40
there are truths i'm learning about writing that probably reach into all artistic creations. one is that it is hard to discuss what you do and how and why you do it without saying things lik… Read More
2015-05-27 03:24
Grace and Frankieis Netflix’s newest original series, starring Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. Frankie and Gracie’s husbands ( Sam Waterston and Martin Sheen ) leave the two women fo… Read More
2015-05-24 21:03
Ever calls Mr. Curry on the phone: ' Daddy? 'Mr. Curry: ' Ever sweetie, hi, what are you doing? 'Ever: ' Well I have poop in my vagina and Mommy said she'd wipe gently but I still won't let… Read More
2015-05-22 06:57
I don't understand this time of my life, what am I doing. It may strike you as remarkable that this is the first time in my life since the birth of Dakota that I have felt this way. At 19, I… Read More
2015-05-20 21:29
2006-06-07 11:16
i like the grainy pixilated photo capture, right now, i am acutely aware of every role i play- mother, wife, worker, writer, self caretaker, housekeeper, perpetual organizer. everything is d… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
sirens bleed the night runs colda telephone rings next door. my mouth dark plum fisted holdkiss me there, you mightfind everything you are looking for.what about before?what about befor… Read More
2006-06-07 11:16
do you think about me, the way i used to bewhen i was still me.before the bankrupt business, the broken pelvis fat of scars and blood, the baby in thehospital, the internal fr… Read More
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