My dad didn't stay long, maybe a month or so. It was a good time for me though. I had missed him. My mom and my step-dad never stayed separated long, during those years. After that, I was able to visit my dad in Texas during the summers.

In 1993 I had my first back surgery. I had another in 1995 and '96. They were corrective surgeries for scoliosis and kyphosis. The first two surgeries were the worst. I had to learn how to walk all over again for both of them. I was hospitalized for weeks and then home schooled for months after, since I couldn't get around for awhile. I was only 13 for my first surgery. It was a difficult thing to go through.

Being that I was behind in school now and not able to play sports or other activities, I started to dabble in minor drugs and drinking... and why not... my parents (my mom and step-dad) shared theirs with me. Their motto was, as long as I was doing it at home I was safe. Although, they knew I was finding it other places, too. But they didn't mind, as long as I wasn't drunk or high while running the roads and I stayed wherever I was partying at.

My friends thought I had the coolest parents ever! At times I did, too. Until the fights started and I remembered how much of a butthole my step-dad can be. I felt I couldn't live with my real dad, because nobody would be there for my mom when things got bad with her and my step-dad. Nobody ever really saw what happened when we didn't have people over. When things were going good, it was great, but when he got into his moods, it was awful. I never knew if this would be a night I would have to call the police, because he hit her again.

As I got older I started to realize it wasn't all my step-dad, my mom tended to antagonize the fights, too. The drinking and the drugging was really tearing things up and you never knew what you would be walking into.

I'll stop there....

We were all dabbling in drinking and drugs those days. The parents and the kids. Nobody was innocent. I look back and realize God was preparing lessons for me to learn from those days and the experiences I had. I learned that relationships can't survive if you are always intoxicated. You need God to be the center of your relationship, not drugs and alcohol. The drugs and alcohol tend to be more important than your significant other. God knew that I would witness all this mess and not want that for my life and my kids. I just wish my mom would have seen this, too.

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