A common complaint among Women dating after 40 is that men just go poof. They suddenly stop calling, texting or emailing. There wasn’t a fight. No responding to your outreach. They just disappear.

While I think it is a coward’s way to end any kind of connection, even if just a few dates, I understand that many men are conflict averse when it comes to women. They don’t want a fight and they certainly don’t want a woman in tears. It seems that tears are a man’s kryptonite — it renders them powerless.

Yet even though I have disdain for men who go poof, I can see why they’d do it. I have a guy now who I need to cut loose. He’s a sweet guy, but we have different values on important things and I have become increasingly put off by this.

It would be so easy to stop responding to his texts. To send his calls to voice mail and not return them. Thus preventing the tough conversation that says, “I’m not interested” after a slew of calls and emails. His likely response, “Why?” Then I’d have to tell him I’m not drawn to his cursing, mispronunciation of words, declaring he’d beat up anyone who insulted me. But of course, I could not tell him the full truth, but hide behind my being too busy to date or other half-truths. But I think that is cowardly, too.

When you have found your interest in someone waning, what has been your strategy? Share with other readers what you’ve done that has allowed you to cut ties while being respectful of the guy.