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2022-02-21 22:04
You’ve heard of “Neflix and chill” — where you watch a video with your date, then have sex. Well, I have found “Dinner and dalliance” more fulfilling. I e… Read More
2020-02-12 23:11
He is smart, funny, charming, good looking, worldly, educated, successful, a sharp dresser, good listener and conversationalist. He tells you what you long to hear. He is vulnerable with you… Read More
2020-01-16 23:48
I dated a sweet man who grew up in an African village. He came to the US at age 19 to go to school. I loved hearing his stories of growing up in his village, living in mud huts, bathing in t… Read More
2020-01-12 22:08
The phrase “keeping it 100” comes from “keeping it 100% real,” meaning being 100% honest. It’s shorthand for no BS, don’t tell me what you think I want to… Read More
2020-01-07 00:23
A man may enter your life who does not hold the work title or financial status you are seeking. But he’s a good man. He is honest, has integrity, treats you respectfully, listens to yo… Read More
2020-01-01 04:11
It’s commonly said that women try to change their man into someone more to their ideal. Men, however, are afraid women will change, as they like what they have. Not that a man can&rsqu&hell…Read More
2019-04-16 20:31
I bet you’re thinking, “”I’m glad dating is hard’ is an odd approach. Why would anyone want dating to be hard?” At first blush, it sounds strange. Let me… Read More
2018-10-14 11:59
Some people set no distance requirements on potential suitors. One Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 reader shared she was romanced by a guy half way around the world for over two year… Read More
2018-09-26 19:00
This can be a common thought for powerful, successful, midlife dating women. It was expressed by Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 reader Diamond in a question to me:   &nbsp&hell…Read More
2016-06-17 07:08
Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing! Read More
2016-03-22 00:04
In case the word is unfamiliar to you, gamification is when you apply typical elements of game playing to everyday activities. Fast food restaurants give you instant scratchers for rewards… Read More
2016-02-17 20:32
A common misconception is that midlife women have lost their libido, no longer feeling sexy. While this is true for some, the stereotype is that it’s true for all. However, those of us… Read More
2015-12-14 19:46
A common complaint among women dating after 40 is that men just go poof. They suddenly stop calling, texting or emailing. There wasn’t a fight. No responding to your outreach. They jus… Read More
2015-09-23 03:35
The first time I heard this, I was flattered. I thought my date must think I’m sexy, attractive, appealing and special. Now I’ve heard this too often on the first or second date… Read More
2015-09-01 21:46
Every woman dating over 40 says she wants a nice guy — you’d never think to want anyone who wasn’t. Yet where’s the line between “nice” and “wuss&rd&hell…Read More
2015-08-25 04:48
Shakespeare popularized the term “unrequited love.” I had no idea how frequently this happens until I started dating after 40. People often ask me, “Why haven’t you f… Read More
2015-07-29 16:04
She said he has given her a 2-week probation to decide if he wanted to stay or go. This just a week after she learned he had slept with someone else while she was on a business trip. They ha… Read More
2015-07-02 16:18
My ex learned he had cancer 2 years ago. Since we didn’t keep in touch, I learned of it a year ago. He did semi-weekly podcasts for a few dozen friends to update them on his health. I… Read More
2015-06-19 22:39
When I’m smitten, or even in the beginning of a budding relationship, I think about the guy a lot. “I wonder how his day is going. Should I text him?“I should ask if he wan… Read More
2015-05-23 06:41
He was not classically good looking. He had a pronounced nose and craggy face etched from decades of intense work. But his entrancing blue eyes made everything else fade away. He stood strai… Read More
2015-05-10 15:44
Both genders say confidence is one of the most appealing attributes in a sweetie. However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Certainty is part of both. Here’s an e… Read More
2015-04-22 20:59
Wooing can be exhilarating, fun, and exciting. It’s nice to be the recipient of a man’s attention and affection. It’s especially nice when he’s good at it, but not so… Read More
2015-03-16 15:11
I’m on an 11-day cruise. It’s not a singles’ cruise. Am I here looking for love? Yes and no. I’m speaking onboard. But I’m also got my eyes peeled for eligible… Read More
2015-02-23 19:58
One of the unexpected experiences of dating after 40 is when someone you dated dies. I’ve had it happen twice now. Of course, death occurs at all ages. It’s just shocking when it… Read More
2015-02-12 04:26
We all have stories of some date gone awry because your companion acted strangely. In fact, we love to regale our friends with these stories whenever mid-life dating enters the conversation… Read More
2015-01-29 07:25
I spent some time recently with a mid-50s, never-married, long-time friend. He’s been in relationships lasting a few years, but never found someone he wanted to be with long term. But… Read More
2015-01-23 18:43
I just returned from 3 weeks in Thailand and Laos. My dating life never seems far from my mind. Here are some examples of a few of the activities that reminded me of my dating life. We sto… Read More
2014-12-31 07:01
Do you ever feel sad at missing expressing a part of who you are? Maybe you love to paint but either don’t have the time or space to do it now. Or maybe you love to swim but you live t… Read More
2014-12-20 02:29
Good hot cocoa and good sex can both be delicious and satisfying. When each is good, it puts a smile on your face. You feel warm and happy afterwards. You often want more. When shared with s… Read More
2014-12-16 23:07
The beginning of getting to know someone is both energizing and frightening. The energy comes from enjoying the conversation and fantasizing about what could be. The frightening part comes f… Read More
2014-12-01 02:15
A friend’s 35-year-old son accompanied his father and step-mother to visit me recently. I’d gotten to know him as a young man and he was in town so they wanted us all to catch up… Read More
2014-08-14 19:50
“Clingy” has different definitions to different people. Some like their space, while others like to be continually touching when together. Others like to show their affection oft… Read More
2014-08-04 02:38
After a few good phone conversations, we agreed to meet for afternoon coffee. It was a beautiful perfect-weather day, so I decided to wear a cute summer outfit.  I spent an hour taking… Read More
2014-07-28 21:16
I love that song by Gotye. I think it encapsulates the lingering hurt many of us feel after an unpleasant breakup. When I first heard the song, I immediately thought the title perfectly refl… Read More
2014-07-18 18:46
You may have heard there’s a new smartphone app named “Yo.” It allows the sender to send a message: Yo. And the responder can respond with “Yo.” That’s it… Read More
2014-07-06 14:43
When one ends a first date, sometimes it’s awkward. You’re not sure if he enjoyed himself as much as you did. You’re waiting for a clue he did. Sometimes it’s in what… Read More
2014-05-28 17:19
As people age, some become happier and more care free, choosing to look at each day as a blessing, and not to sweat small inconveniences. Others seem to focus more on pointing out any inconv… Read More
2014-04-23 21:21
My post-divorce dating has not yielded a beau who liked — or had the means — to travel. I love to travel so have scratched my itch by traveling with or meeting up with friends. T… Read More
2014-02-27 00:32
Have you ever had a guy friend-crush? A guy pal who you’d like to be more? But you haven’t flirted or made your interest known because he might already have a wife or girlfriend?… Read More
2014-02-18 03:28
Much has been written about how Facebook has helped end many marriages because people rekindle relationships with old flames. They begin romancing each other through emails, texts and calls… Read More
2014-01-27 02:51
A pal shared a story of his best friend, Mel, who had some recent health challenges which resulted in him having zero libido. Not just during the treatment of his health problem, but afterwa… Read More
2013-12-26 07:36
A 26-year-old pal shared with me that he took his girlfriend around the neighborhood to enjoy the Christmas lights. “She said we don’t do enough romantic stuff and she wanted to… Read More
2013-12-20 07:02
A few weeks ago I bought a new car — at least it was new to me. A neighbor was selling his used SUV with very low mileage. I had been thinking it was time to replace my car, but I hadn… Read More
2013-12-16 02:29
We typically date with a goal: to find someone with mutual attraction. Some of us also want love and a long-term, committed relationship. Some want marriage. Some want just a fling. After da… Read More
2013-11-25 07:30
I’ve noticed a trend. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it is common. When I’ve met someone online and we’ve exchanged some emails and phone calls, when we mee… Read More
2013-11-18 22:01
Blathering. Babbling. Rambling. You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anyt… Read More
2013-10-20 23:58
When you first meet someone and are deciding whether to see each other again, whether you want to or not, you consciously or unconsciously size each other up. In addition to deciding if you… Read More
2013-10-08 21:59
As a generality, men tend to keep relationship details to themselves. Their friends and family may have to probe and prod to even discover they have started dating someone. Guys keep that in… Read More
2013-09-24 23:07
Most midlife singles have a vision of what they’d like their lives to be like in 5, 10 or 20 years. They imagine adventure trips abroad, luxury cruises, quietly enjoying their homes, o… Read More
2013-09-17 00:23
Some men just go poof — stopping any communication with you without a word. Others break up — in person, by phone, via email, or more and more commonly by text. They send a clear… Read More
2013-09-11 18:33
My friend has been dating a new guy for a month and it was going well. He’s emotionally mature, good looking, financially stable, fun and treats her well. They had two activities plann… Read More
2013-09-02 01:36
At the farmers market, a woman asked the vendor how to tell when the nectarines were sweet and ripe. “The ones with blemishes and freckles are the sweetest. The prettiest ones aren&rsq&hell…Read More
2013-08-19 05:48
You’ve been dating a special guy for a while and have had several sexual romps. But you find yourself less than satisfied, even though you’ve giving lots of feedback on what&rsqu&hell…Read More
2013-08-10 19:18
When you first start seeing someone, what do you call it? Hanging out? “Seeing each other?” Dating? If you’re just going to coffee, on hikes, or to the movies, is that real… Read More
2013-07-23 15:46
When you first start being sexual with a new sweetie, you likely have sex nearly every time you see each other. Depending on your mutual libido, that could be several times a day! In the beg… Read More
2013-07-09 21:35
Any mature person knows that to keep a relationship humming, it takes some work. Even if you get along fabulously, usually there are a few hiccups that need negotiating. My ex and I started… Read More
2013-06-24 19:33
When we were younger, we might have been more nonchalant about sex. We progressed — often rapidly — from passionate kissing to petting to sex. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. R… Read More
2013-06-15 23:48
I’ve become friendly with my local street fruit vendor because he is friendly and has an easy smile. Despite our limited facility with each other’s language — my Spanish st… Read More
2013-06-12 07:07
I loathe the term “cougar” and would never initiate a relationship with a much-younger man. When I’ve dated men 1-10 years younger they all initiated the contact. Generally… Read More
2013-06-09 05:32
Some people enter the dating pool after having ended a relationship because of cheating. Some have been cheated on multiple times, by the same person or with several lovers. I’ve only… Read More
2013-05-30 19:35
This was the first question asked by the radio host in a recent interview. I paused to consider my answer.“Some days yes; some days no” I responded truthfully. The host responded… Read More
2013-05-18 20:22
After dating for a while, you refine what you want and don’t want in your next relationship. Your criteria get clearer and you get more certain about what will make you happy. Often th… Read More
2013-04-18 08:06
Ten years ago today my husband of 20 years announced he didn’t want to be married anymore. I took it hard. I now call that day “The Great Awakening.” It’s amazing ho… Read More
2013-04-17 17:31
It seems that everyone dreams of winning the lottery, imagining all the things they’d do, buy, or donate to if they became a millionaire. In fact, some women (and men) blatantly say th… Read More
2013-04-08 07:35
You can tell a lot about a person by how generous he is not only with money, but with effort and spirit. Sometimes a person can be generous with words of acknowledgement but nothing else. So… Read More
2013-03-31 23:46
They’d been dating regularly for 4 months, even taking a 4-day vacation together. My gal pal kept telling me what a nice guy he was — very thoughtful bringing her little presents… Read More
2013-03-27 16:26
That phrase can have two interpretations — one bad and one good. “He’s up to something” can mean something bad, like “He’s up to no good.” The other… Read More
2013-03-15 06:25
Recently, I’ve been interviewed by two media sources.   * Listen to a recent interview of me by RelationshipAdviceCafe.com (right-click to download to your computer). * Also on Mo… Read More
2013-03-08 17:41
When I read some midlife men’s dating profiles I get tired. Not from reading, but from their exhaustive list of extreme activities — rock climbing, remote backpacking, BASE jumpi… Read More
2013-03-04 01:57
I mean “capacity” in several ways. Does he have time in his life for you — the capacity to bring you into his life and the availability to be a part of your? Some people s… Read More
2013-02-16 01:27
I heard a sharp rap through the phone. “What was that?” I asked my friend. He’d just inquired about my love life and I told him of the current potential suitor who was very… Read More
2013-01-26 02:02
By now, anyone with a news feed knows of the the Manti Te’o/Lennay Kekua hoax, or what is known in the vernacular as catfishing. It is when one is duped in a romantic context, by someo… Read More
2013-01-06 04:38
Part of the allure of the TV singing competition “The Voice” is that the contestants are judged initially on only the quality of their singing. I can see the wisdom of this, as o… Read More
2013-01-01 18:33
Thank you Taylor Swift, for a lyric that perfectly reflects my sentiment. Especially now. Why?A month ago, my boyfriend from 3 years past indicated he “liked” my photos on a dati… Read More
2012-12-26 03:50
As a kid, were you ever disappointed when Santa didn’t deliver a coveted gift? I was. I would pout and sometimes even cry from disappointment, not being interested in the socks and clo… Read More
2012-12-17 19:52
As much as I love John Legend, his “Tonight” lyric is indicative of men who over promise and under deliver. If a man brags about his prowess in kissing or sex, you can bet you wi… Read More
2012-12-11 07:27
My married BFF has patiently listened to my dating ups and downs for many years. At her suggestion, we decided to attend a well-known church’s fundraiser comprised of an evening of foo… Read More
2012-12-09 01:26
I’m channeling Britney, with an “oops, I did it again” experience this week. I’d hit a dating dry spell of late with the men I’ve been encountering being too ge… Read More
2012-12-02 21:51
There are many reasons we are attracted to someone or not. Often, it takes a while to experience their behaviors before we decide if we like who they are or not. And it’s fascinating t… Read More
2012-11-15 07:08
Unfamiliar with the term? Think of being in a primary relationship, but with the ability to have sex with others. Openly. With your sweetheart’s knowledge and permission. One of my acq… Read More
2012-11-02 23:50
A pal who ended a decade-long relationship a year ago has fallen for a woman he met a few weeks ago. It’s the first person he’s dated after his relationship ended. I’m figh… Read More
2012-10-12 15:22
Dinner was high atop the Istanbul Intercontinental Hotel in the City Lights Restaurant. We met at 8:15 so the sun had set and the lights on the Anatolian (Asian) side of the city were tinkli… Read More
2012-10-01 08:36
I thought that would get your attention! Europeans seem to have much different feelings about body image than Americans do. (I realize I’m generalizing here.) People of all ages, shape… Read More
2012-09-20 05:06
With apologies to Shakespeare, I was reminded of his line in Hamlet when a potential suitor recently showered me — or more like drowned me — in texts. Once we’d exchanged a… Read More
2012-09-10 16:52
Brain scans show that the same regions of the brain are activated after taking cocaine as when subjects were shown pictures of someone they said they were in love with. When I’ve been… Read More
2012-08-26 03:53
A good-looking, successful, kind, generous, attentive, single man is wooing my single friend. He tells her how much he adores her and wants to be with her. He tells her it’s OK to take… Read More
2012-08-20 18:30
In the last few months I’ve heard two stories of midlife women learning the man they were dating had an addiction. * A 60-something woman had met a similarly aged man and they started… Read More
2012-08-08 17:35
It seems that when I gather with one or more single gal pals, the subject soon turns to dating. Today’s gathering was no different. This conversation centered around a pal who’d… Read More
2012-08-02 19:04
Generally, I believe tolerance is good. You are open to new ideas and perspectives. You’re not rigid and adamant that your way is the only way. (Note: As I get older, I find I’m… Read More
2012-07-23 18:04
The men were well dressed, intelligent, good looking, successful, good communicators. They smiled and laughed easily and were outgoing. I moved among them, chatting and flirting. They were e… Read More

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