i am not good enough.
you make me feel like i am almost there, like there's something to get even better, something that i didn't get quite right, not perfect enough. you make me feel like i need to prove myself constantly.
you make me feel un-capable (i wanted to underline the lack of capability which isn't quite expressed the same in the more known variant of "incapable") to handle or execute the most simple of tasks. you constantly tell me what and how to do things, like i had no chance of figuring it out on my own.
i feel that you judge me so harshly, using impossible standards to achieve. and no matter what i do, i will not be able to reach those heights. i feel like i am on the defence in most situations.
you are so independent, so self-sufficient that i don't see any point of having me in your life. i don't see why you would ever have me with you. i don't feel that you need me, want me or desire me in your life.
i do not feel that we are sharing something together. i feel that you're experiencing something and that i just tagged along because you just were too polite to say anything. i feel that your joy of experiencing something would be exactly the same if I was there or not.
i feel disconnected. from you, from your inside world, from your soul and your heart. i am a visitor who steals their passes into your thoughts. but it's touch and go, it's brief moments. any connection that arises is so short that i even doubt it ever existed.
i sometimes think i am imagining most of our relationship. i am not sure if it even exists at any deep level. i am not sure what a deep level for you is. maybe i'm just not good enough to be let in. all guesses. how could i know for sure when you are all closed up for any meaningful communication?
you make me feel like i am almost there, like there's something to get even better, something that i didn't get quite right, not perfect enough. you make me feel like i need to prove myself constantly.
you make me feel un-capable (i wanted to underline the lack of capability which isn't quite expressed the same in the more known variant of "incapable") to handle or execute the most simple of tasks. you constantly tell me what and how to do things, like i had no chance of figuring it out on my own.
i feel that you judge me so harshly, using impossible standards to achieve. and no matter what i do, i will not be able to reach those heights. i feel like i am on the defence in most situations.
you are so independent, so self-sufficient that i don't see any point of having me in your life. i don't see why you would ever have me with you. i don't feel that you need me, want me or desire me in your life.
i do not feel that we are sharing something together. i feel that you're experiencing something and that i just tagged along because you just were too polite to say anything. i feel that your joy of experiencing something would be exactly the same if I was there or not.
i feel disconnected. from you, from your inside world, from your soul and your heart. i am a visitor who steals their passes into your thoughts. but it's touch and go, it's brief moments. any connection that arises is so short that i even doubt it ever existed.
i sometimes think i am imagining most of our relationship. i am not sure if it even exists at any deep level. i am not sure what a deep level for you is. maybe i'm just not good enough to be let in. all guesses. how could i know for sure when you are all closed up for any meaningful communication?
