the reason I'm even writing about this is because I have never been with a man in a meaningful relationship that I would consider my equal. Some of them start off with some equal potential but then it all goes away quickly the more you scratch under the surface and get to know the real man behind the words and actions.
I am an Intelligent, ambitious, achieving, attractive, self-confident, independent woman. I come from a good Family Background, with my father being an PhD Engineer and my mum a paediatric doctor. I have solid, stable family values and an upbringing that does not make me entitled, taking for granted the things that you achieve in life, but also an upbringing that has made me expect and strive for the best in myself and others around me.
I have high expectations of myself. I hold myself to (sometimes) impossibly high standards. I am very ambitious and very driven. I have goals and plans and until very recently, career came first. It probably still does, but slightly in a different way now.
I have had an easy life, in the sense that nothing has ever missed from my childhood - both psychologically, emotionally and from a material point of view. Amongst my friends, I was always the one who had more and gave the others, who were poorer or less fortunate. I never felt guilty for my family's financial status because I knew there were others in a completely different class which I would never be in, as well as knowing very well that my parents worked hard and hardly spent any money on themselves and their pleasures.
I was always the centre of their focus, their attention and every single resource they had - of any kind - they gave me. I never expected, I never demanded and I never took it for granted. I always felt supported and empowered. I felt thankful and fortunate. I always knew this was the normal way and I always tried to give back to whomever I could anything extra that I had.
Even at a young age, I remember other kids stealing my toys, I remember having dolls that other girls wanted and I happily game it all away to them. I had cool stationery and cool clothes (because having relatives abroad when you grow up in a communist country is amazing) and I always lent them to my friends. I respected physical possessions but I never tied myself to them.
That could be because I always had plenty I never knew how it is not to have any clothes to wear or food to eat. But I never was a demanding child I never cared too much for fashion, I didn't wear the latest trends, no make up, no hairdressing, nothing of that sort. I chose a simple way - in all of the freedom to choose more, I chose less.
I have always had an ingrained respect for the environment. Recycling is good, not wasting water or other things is good. I don't like throwing things on the streets making them dirty. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I was exposed to a Western culture - Germany and Bayern especially, where they still have the cleanest streets in the world - and thought that was normal. But all of it resonated with me. Growing up in Eastern Europe - Romania specifically - made me feel not at home, with people not caring about the world around them, not caring how much of a dirty town or school or bar they have around them. Arguably, most of them had bigger issues to care about.
And because of my strong personality, I like to take care of myself. I am not one of the crazy girls on diets all of the time. I have never been on a diet. But I am in a state of self-awareness about what I put into my body and how much of it. I don't have a gym subscription, but I do other things to move my body, keep it flexible and flowing, just like it was meant to. I don't probably do enough, but I do something.
school and studying has never been hard for me. I was always intelligent enough to be able to do just about enough to stay in top on my class in order to get into the best schools and do exactly what I wanted in terms of studying. I never really tried too hard and never put in a lot of effort. I knew that I could get very good grades with barely any work. I knew I was smart enough to play the game, be a part of the system, yet stay away from it as much as possible and have lots of fun.
I am very good in my job and am respected for it. There isn't a single person that I've ever worked with that wouldn't work with me again. I Love what I do and take pride in delivering good results, as well as maintaining the best working relationships, making people laugh and smile at work. I work hard, if needed and will stop at nothing within common sense to get something done to high standards, when promised. I get paid well for what I do and I am able to live on my own, in central London - one of the most expensive places on the planet. I live a comfortable life - going out, travelling and spending more money than I should just because I have it. I could earn more, but after a certain threshold - which admittedly is different for everyone - the return are diminishing and other things become more important.
I try to keep my mind flexed and read, interact with similarly intelligent people around me. I have a great social life and I love my friends. They are successful people, they are kind and happy people.
Now, all of this talk about me. It's because I needed to set the scene for Equality.
Equality to me is being with someone who can put into the relationship just as much as you can. Who can bring to the table just as much as you can. Equality is when, together, you are standing of your own 2 feet and decide to join forces. Not from fear of being alone, not out of desperation, not of loneliness, not out of financial or emotional dependency.
But from a place of strength. A place of awareness. A place of self worth and self respect. A place of knowing who you are and what you deserve, what makes you happy and what you cannot and will not stand for.
And of course, love. Being in love is beautiful. But I love with my mind. Not to say that I don't love with all my heart and soul. Because I do. I am not a middle of the road person. I will love someone with all my heart and soul, with all of my being. But, most importantly, I will love them with all my mind. If my mind is in doubt, if my mind and/or my gut instinct - which is just as wired up as the mind - isn't right... then love isn't right.
So, you see, equality is very hard to describe. And just as hard to achieve in a relationship.
For me, Equality means a man who is just as intelligent, just as achieving and just as self-confident as I am. Someone who comes from the same solid family background, with the same sort of sold values that only a strong foundation can give you. These are things that are as fine as a grain of sand to pick from a beach, but as easy to feel if they are missing a pebble in your shoe.
You walk along with this person in all walks of life. And the minute the wind blows, if they bend lightly but in the same time remain strong like a bamboo, then you know they are your equal. You can both curve and grown around each other without breaking yourselves.
I have to clarify - for all the feminists out there that this is not a manifest for equality between men and women. Although I am all for getting paid the same amount of money for doing the same task no matter what your gender, race or religion is. But I do not believe men and women are equal in all areas of life and I don't want that. I want my boyfriend to be physically stronger than I am - I want him to be able to pick me up and lie me on the bed. I don't want him to be hormonal and crying every time a sob story is on TV.
This text is to put equality in a relationship as a balance to be achieved on higher states. Balance at an emotional and psychological level. It's the equality that comes from 2 people being in a strong relationship, both bringing something to the table (even if complementing each other) and both yet remaining independent of eachother.
So what's with the title? Well, I am about to get a half million pounds flat in London and D. is also getting one for himself. Figures and facts are not of importance here. It's really a metaphor but also thought it makes a good title - we are both, in this instance, together - a million pound couple.
I am an Intelligent, ambitious, achieving, attractive, self-confident, independent woman. I come from a good Family Background, with my father being an PhD Engineer and my mum a paediatric doctor. I have solid, stable family values and an upbringing that does not make me entitled, taking for granted the things that you achieve in life, but also an upbringing that has made me expect and strive for the best in myself and others around me.
I have high expectations of myself. I hold myself to (sometimes) impossibly high standards. I am very ambitious and very driven. I have goals and plans and until very recently, career came first. It probably still does, but slightly in a different way now.
I have had an easy life, in the sense that nothing has ever missed from my childhood - both psychologically, emotionally and from a material point of view. Amongst my friends, I was always the one who had more and gave the others, who were poorer or less fortunate. I never felt guilty for my family's financial status because I knew there were others in a completely different class which I would never be in, as well as knowing very well that my parents worked hard and hardly spent any money on themselves and their pleasures.
I was always the centre of their focus, their attention and every single resource they had - of any kind - they gave me. I never expected, I never demanded and I never took it for granted. I always felt supported and empowered. I felt thankful and fortunate. I always knew this was the normal way and I always tried to give back to whomever I could anything extra that I had.
Even at a young age, I remember other kids stealing my toys, I remember having dolls that other girls wanted and I happily game it all away to them. I had cool stationery and cool clothes (because having relatives abroad when you grow up in a communist country is amazing) and I always lent them to my friends. I respected physical possessions but I never tied myself to them.
That could be because I always had plenty I never knew how it is not to have any clothes to wear or food to eat. But I never was a demanding child I never cared too much for fashion, I didn't wear the latest trends, no make up, no hairdressing, nothing of that sort. I chose a simple way - in all of the freedom to choose more, I chose less.
I have always had an ingrained respect for the environment. Recycling is good, not wasting water or other things is good. I don't like throwing things on the streets making them dirty. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I was exposed to a Western culture - Germany and Bayern especially, where they still have the cleanest streets in the world - and thought that was normal. But all of it resonated with me. Growing up in Eastern Europe - Romania specifically - made me feel not at home, with people not caring about the world around them, not caring how much of a dirty town or school or bar they have around them. Arguably, most of them had bigger issues to care about.
And because of my strong personality, I like to take care of myself. I am not one of the crazy girls on diets all of the time. I have never been on a diet. But I am in a state of self-awareness about what I put into my body and how much of it. I don't have a gym subscription, but I do other things to move my body, keep it flexible and flowing, just like it was meant to. I don't probably do enough, but I do something.
school and studying has never been hard for me. I was always intelligent enough to be able to do just about enough to stay in top on my class in order to get into the best schools and do exactly what I wanted in terms of studying. I never really tried too hard and never put in a lot of effort. I knew that I could get very good grades with barely any work. I knew I was smart enough to play the game, be a part of the system, yet stay away from it as much as possible and have lots of fun.
I am very good in my job and am respected for it. There isn't a single person that I've ever worked with that wouldn't work with me again. I Love what I do and take pride in delivering good results, as well as maintaining the best working relationships, making people laugh and smile at work. I work hard, if needed and will stop at nothing within common sense to get something done to high standards, when promised. I get paid well for what I do and I am able to live on my own, in central London - one of the most expensive places on the planet. I live a comfortable life - going out, travelling and spending more money than I should just because I have it. I could earn more, but after a certain threshold - which admittedly is different for everyone - the return are diminishing and other things become more important.
I try to keep my mind flexed and read, interact with similarly intelligent people around me. I have a great social life and I love my friends. They are successful people, they are kind and happy people.
Now, all of this talk about me. It's because I needed to set the scene for Equality.
Equality to me is being with someone who can put into the relationship just as much as you can. Who can bring to the table just as much as you can. Equality is when, together, you are standing of your own 2 feet and decide to join forces. Not from fear of being alone, not out of desperation, not of loneliness, not out of financial or emotional dependency.
But from a place of strength. A place of awareness. A place of self worth and self respect. A place of knowing who you are and what you deserve, what makes you happy and what you cannot and will not stand for.
And of course, love. Being in love is beautiful. But I love with my mind. Not to say that I don't love with all my heart and soul. Because I do. I am not a middle of the road person. I will love someone with all my heart and soul, with all of my being. But, most importantly, I will love them with all my mind. If my mind is in doubt, if my mind and/or my gut instinct - which is just as wired up as the mind - isn't right... then love isn't right.
So, you see, equality is very hard to describe. And just as hard to achieve in a relationship.
For me, Equality means a man who is just as intelligent, just as achieving and just as self-confident as I am. Someone who comes from the same solid family background, with the same sort of sold values that only a strong foundation can give you. These are things that are as fine as a grain of sand to pick from a beach, but as easy to feel if they are missing a pebble in your shoe.
You walk along with this person in all walks of life. And the minute the wind blows, if they bend lightly but in the same time remain strong like a bamboo, then you know they are your equal. You can both curve and grown around each other without breaking yourselves.
I have to clarify - for all the feminists out there that this is not a manifest for equality between men and women. Although I am all for getting paid the same amount of money for doing the same task no matter what your gender, race or religion is. But I do not believe men and women are equal in all areas of life and I don't want that. I want my boyfriend to be physically stronger than I am - I want him to be able to pick me up and lie me on the bed. I don't want him to be hormonal and crying every time a sob story is on TV.
This text is to put equality in a relationship as a balance to be achieved on higher states. Balance at an emotional and psychological level. It's the equality that comes from 2 people being in a strong relationship, both bringing something to the table (even if complementing each other) and both yet remaining independent of eachother.
So what's with the title? Well, I am about to get a half million pounds flat in London and D. is also getting one for himself. Figures and facts are not of importance here. It's really a metaphor but also thought it makes a good title - we are both, in this instance, together - a million pound couple.
