20 people. coming over to my place. Party organised for weeks. i had catering, drinks and entertainment all planned. a pinata. a magician. a musician. an international crowd. a PJ theme, so that people changed into their most funny and most comfortable. shitloads of drinks. mini-burgers. an inflatable flamingo and an inflatable dinosaur. emoji balloons. an amazing view on the 34th floor over central london.
1h before I thought I would cancel the whole thing, as I still couldn't move from the sofa crying. the man that i thought i am in a relationship with just told me that he sees no future for us and he doesn't love me.
i wanted to see nobody, speak to nobody and do anything.
i decided that 20 people have taken time out of their lives to celebrate my House with me. my first home. and i couldn't fail 20 people. that i would stand up ad put on my bravest face. i thought i would break into tears at any point.
but amongst my many talents is pretending. i got wasted, chatted to loads of people, flirted with lots of lovely men. danced inappropriately with a few. said some inappropriate things to some others. snorted cocaine for the first time in my life. i fell into the arms of one guy and just let his admiration, affection, strong arms wash all over me. his desire to be with me and his beautiful words towards me entered the deep fibres of my wounds. they were still bleeding. he nurtured me. he hugged me continuously. i could drown myself in his arms. he held me tight and he kissed me all night. and all morning.
the party ended at 6am. not bad for a party that i didn't even have a Heart for. i danced all over my broken heart and my wonderful friends made me feel loved and appreciated.
i am a lucky girl who has some amazing people in her life.
1h before I thought I would cancel the whole thing, as I still couldn't move from the sofa crying. the man that i thought i am in a relationship with just told me that he sees no future for us and he doesn't love me.
i wanted to see nobody, speak to nobody and do anything.
i decided that 20 people have taken time out of their lives to celebrate my House with me. my first home. and i couldn't fail 20 people. that i would stand up ad put on my bravest face. i thought i would break into tears at any point.
but amongst my many talents is pretending. i got wasted, chatted to loads of people, flirted with lots of lovely men. danced inappropriately with a few. said some inappropriate things to some others. snorted cocaine for the first time in my life. i fell into the arms of one guy and just let his admiration, affection, strong arms wash all over me. his desire to be with me and his beautiful words towards me entered the deep fibres of my wounds. they were still bleeding. he nurtured me. he hugged me continuously. i could drown myself in his arms. he held me tight and he kissed me all night. and all morning.
the party ended at 6am. not bad for a party that i didn't even have a Heart for. i danced all over my broken heart and my wonderful friends made me feel loved and appreciated.
i am a lucky girl who has some amazing people in her life.
