from being dumped by the man whom you've spent the last year with, sharing some amazing experiences, including meeting his family and thinking that he guy is totally in love with you, to the guy coming back to you, wanting you back in his life and saying he takes back what he said.
i have never been left by another man before. i am deeply grateful that i got to experience that because it is such a different perspective from the one side that I have had all my life. i found it far easier than being the one breaking the relationship.
but hearing something so painful, catching me so off guard was shocking, hurtful and immensely heartbreaking. i haven't experienced anything like it before. i guess because i didn't see it coming at all. because i thought that his actions speak for themselves and that he does in fact love me, but just isn't that good at communicating it. which might still be the case.
it was an an amazing opportunity to see how i would react in this new situation. i could go angry, scream, cry, get upset. instead, i had a brave, sad and kept Loving and forgiving as an attitude. i gave him a big hug leaving him and didn't make any scenes. although i could think of several other ways things could have gone.
my reaction to the break up was a bit predictable and i really played up to the expectations and a bit more. but it was fun, eye opening and amazing, no regrets.
i was able to be present, to be mindful. to be thankful for the friends around me, being totally oblivious of the fact that I was crying inside. but i put a brave face on and i kept coming back to the present moment, to the music, to the conversations and to the people. kept coming back to smiling and through smiling, i hoped that my heart would heal and would not cry anymore.
i thought i would burst into tears but i managed to remain happy and smiling, interacting with my beautiful and wonderful friends. i found acceptance and joy in my heart despite the most terrible pain. it was a very cathartic experience.
i feel a better person and a better human being for going through it all that way i did.
him coming back to me and wanting to get back together in such a short amount of time, changing his mind was a bit more difficult. i am still battling with that. from so many perspectives. but though all of the struggles, I can still feel that I am breaking and stretching my emotional muscles. I am growing in immense ways.
i was kind, understanding and forgiving. i was loving and stayed as open as I could. i didn't want to hurt him back. i didn't go into self deprecating more. i din't seek vengeance. i didn't seek reasons to hate myself.
i have changed so much. i am far kinder, more understanding and more loving to myself. I accept myself and am able to give so much more acceptance. it's amazing how so few hours can be so painful yet so rich in personal growth.
and not the least, this also gave my friends a chance to shine and show greater aspects of themselves. they helped me, supported me. held my hand while i was crying. told me jokes while i couldn't speak on the phone because it was all to much. it has been a great opportunity for them to be a grander version of themselves. it allowed them to shine. to be loving and to be caring.
i have never been left by another man before. i am deeply grateful that i got to experience that because it is such a different perspective from the one side that I have had all my life. i found it far easier than being the one breaking the relationship.
but hearing something so painful, catching me so off guard was shocking, hurtful and immensely heartbreaking. i haven't experienced anything like it before. i guess because i didn't see it coming at all. because i thought that his actions speak for themselves and that he does in fact love me, but just isn't that good at communicating it. which might still be the case.
it was an an amazing opportunity to see how i would react in this new situation. i could go angry, scream, cry, get upset. instead, i had a brave, sad and kept Loving and forgiving as an attitude. i gave him a big hug leaving him and didn't make any scenes. although i could think of several other ways things could have gone.
my reaction to the break up was a bit predictable and i really played up to the expectations and a bit more. but it was fun, eye opening and amazing, no regrets.
i was able to be present, to be mindful. to be thankful for the friends around me, being totally oblivious of the fact that I was crying inside. but i put a brave face on and i kept coming back to the present moment, to the music, to the conversations and to the people. kept coming back to smiling and through smiling, i hoped that my heart would heal and would not cry anymore.
i thought i would burst into tears but i managed to remain happy and smiling, interacting with my beautiful and wonderful friends. i found acceptance and joy in my heart despite the most terrible pain. it was a very cathartic experience.
i feel a better person and a better human being for going through it all that way i did.
him coming back to me and wanting to get back together in such a short amount of time, changing his mind was a bit more difficult. i am still battling with that. from so many perspectives. but though all of the struggles, I can still feel that I am breaking and stretching my emotional muscles. I am growing in immense ways.
i was kind, understanding and forgiving. i was loving and stayed as open as I could. i didn't want to hurt him back. i didn't go into self deprecating more. i din't seek vengeance. i didn't seek reasons to hate myself.
i have changed so much. i am far kinder, more understanding and more loving to myself. I accept myself and am able to give so much more acceptance. it's amazing how so few hours can be so painful yet so rich in personal growth.
and not the least, this also gave my friends a chance to shine and show greater aspects of themselves. they helped me, supported me. held my hand while i was crying. told me jokes while i couldn't speak on the phone because it was all to much. it has been a great opportunity for them to be a grander version of themselves. it allowed them to shine. to be loving and to be caring.
