me and D set out to build a coffee table and a tv stand for my new place. i found some stuff that i liked online made out of pallets and he said that they would be easy to make, rather than buy them.
not to save money, but as an experience to make something together, spend the time with each other and see how we work in the process.
it turns out that him giving me constant directions (from even how to drive a van) to doing the most simple of things, being constantly treated like a stupid, retard girl and concentrating on making something to perfection rather than having fun in the process .... was the way to go.
i obviously have huge issues with authority and being told what to do. i have a natural instinct to rebel against that and either do the opposite or not doing it at all. he was so focused on the end result being perfect, everything being perfect that i found the whole process not fun.
for me, the end result wasn't important. especially with this being something in my living room, and not his, i thought that the pressure to get it all perfect wouldn't be as great. but it turns out that he just likes to make perfect things no matter whose living room it is for. he is just a detail orientated person with a need to get everything just right.
and to be honest, this is one of the things I love about him. i think when it comes so close to clashing our personalities, that's when i love it less.
i can be very frustrating with my relaxed, laissez-faire attitude, where everything is just light, so light that it doesn't even fucking exist after a certain point. that is terrible for doing anything straight and in a lot of focus and detail. but my personality cannot stand still and focus for a great amount of time on one thing,
so i did a few mistakes, my lack of knowledge as well as my relaxed manner... he got a bit frustrated. but he did;t shout at me, nor was nasty to me, nor did he distance himself from me. in fact, he realised that i getting further and further away and he came closer to me. i really, really like that. his reactions are kind, patient and nice. they show consideration,, maturity, kindness and forgiving.
we only managed to do the coffee table. but when we brought it home (we built it at someone else's place due to lack of space) we also had a chat. i shared with him my concerns and experience over the weekend. for him, the building process being fun and making something good were not mutually exclusive. he did apologise for causing me to have a bad time with his perfectionist attitude and i felt sorry for making him feel bad.
we talked. i felt connected to him i felt that i understood him, his thoughts and that we got closer as a result. i felt that i was in a relationship with an adult. i felt that this is how it is to be working and trying to make a relationship work.
i felt how much he was listening, trying to take it all in, trying to make adjustments and improve. i felt how much he wants to be with me and most importantly, i felt loved. i felt that this amazing guy, who is doing everything for me, out of nothing but good intentions is here, listening to me and apologising for something that I know wasn't his fault. It was both of us, it always takes 2.
not to save money, but as an experience to make something together, spend the time with each other and see how we work in the process.
it turns out that him giving me constant directions (from even how to drive a van) to doing the most simple of things, being constantly treated like a stupid, retard girl and concentrating on making something to perfection rather than having fun in the process .... was the way to go.
i obviously have huge issues with authority and being told what to do. i have a natural instinct to rebel against that and either do the opposite or not doing it at all. he was so focused on the end result being perfect, everything being perfect that i found the whole process not fun.
for me, the end result wasn't important. especially with this being something in my living room, and not his, i thought that the pressure to get it all perfect wouldn't be as great. but it turns out that he just likes to make perfect things no matter whose living room it is for. he is just a detail orientated person with a need to get everything just right.
and to be honest, this is one of the things I love about him. i think when it comes so close to clashing our personalities, that's when i love it less.
i can be very frustrating with my relaxed, laissez-faire attitude, where everything is just light, so light that it doesn't even fucking exist after a certain point. that is terrible for doing anything straight and in a lot of focus and detail. but my personality cannot stand still and focus for a great amount of time on one thing,
so i did a few mistakes, my lack of knowledge as well as my relaxed manner... he got a bit frustrated. but he did;t shout at me, nor was nasty to me, nor did he distance himself from me. in fact, he realised that i getting further and further away and he came closer to me. i really, really like that. his reactions are kind, patient and nice. they show consideration,, maturity, kindness and forgiving.
we only managed to do the coffee table. but when we brought it home (we built it at someone else's place due to lack of space) we also had a chat. i shared with him my concerns and experience over the weekend. for him, the building process being fun and making something good were not mutually exclusive. he did apologise for causing me to have a bad time with his perfectionist attitude and i felt sorry for making him feel bad.
we talked. i felt connected to him i felt that i understood him, his thoughts and that we got closer as a result. i felt that i was in a relationship with an adult. i felt that this is how it is to be working and trying to make a relationship work.
i felt how much he was listening, trying to take it all in, trying to make adjustments and improve. i felt how much he wants to be with me and most importantly, i felt loved. i felt that this amazing guy, who is doing everything for me, out of nothing but good intentions is here, listening to me and apologising for something that I know wasn't his fault. It was both of us, it always takes 2.
