yes. at some point, from the shy girl that couldn't even walk around in a women's changing room naked.... i have now gone to my first party.
they say women in their 30s reach their sexual peak. maybe it's that.
maybe curiosity killed the cat. the kitty kat ;)
haloween themed party - but everyone was wearing more kinky rather than fancy dress.
i was slightly nervous about how the atmosphere was going to be. i thought due to the sexual nature that it was going to be quite predatorial, quite alpha male charged and a bit aggressive or competitive. but they have very strict rules and enforcing them.
so only women can do the approaching and only women can initiate stuff. and no means no. it was extremely safe, extremely well managed.
there is something about entering a room where people leave social norms and pre-conditions judgement at the door. and they are allowed to wear whatever they want and behave however they want. the Freedom of expression of one individuality is very powerful. in the same way that I feel a certain energy at glastonbury from 250,000 people being allowed to dance and express themselves freely, i felt the same when i entered the dancing room at this party.
with DJs and tables and sofas, fire shows and dancing shows, this was the room where a club would just be the same.
the second room was the dungeon. Bdsm was practised and watched here. unfortunately, I found it disappointing how the stereotypes were played here: most guys that were doms (dominating) just had women subs (submissive). so there was a lot of ropes, spanking, whipping. there was no screaming. a lot of people watching on the sides. everything was very civilised with a dungeon master supervising everything.
the third room was the playroom. people here played - a bit light touch BDSM but mostly sex. guys with girls, mostly. sofas on the side for watchers and in the middle for people liking being watched.
and then, the there was the secret room. the orgy room. this was a small room, maybe 3 by 3 meters. with a lot of people in there. doing a lot of things. everything that you can thing of, together, all in a tight small space. the atmosphere was electrifying.
I went there to watch, learn, meet some like minded people and especially learn more about BDSM. I found quite a few guys who are doms and shared thoughts and feelings with them. I felt natural and at home there. accepted and not judged for who I am and what I like. talking to like minded people, talking freely about sex and about pleasure made me feel liberated. it's a adrenaline rush that lasted 2 days. it felt like a natural high. due to the sensory stimulation, the informational load, the experiences and the visuals that I took in.
I didn't do anything. with anyone. somehow. I didn't know what to expect, but i thought that if i see other people engaged in having sex live, in front me, that I can touch... i thought that i might also want to join in.
instead, i was just focused on my BDSM experience. i didn't find a sub guy, unfortunately. i wanted to, but would have also been quite shy to perform in front of so many people.
the intimacy to which I dominate a guy was lacking there and couldn't tell you if I liked that or not. I still quite like the one to one experience, even if it involves whipping someone.
anyway, somehow my brain was not in the zone. with all the sex around, I was just not interested. it was almost because it was there, so readily available that I didn't want it.
maybe because it was my first experience, i don't know. I want to go to more and see how things are different. it's definitely something that I expected to struggle with a lot more. but i loved it.even if I didn't get involved. but being around freedom is never enough. freedom is never overrated.
they say women in their 30s reach their sexual peak. maybe it's that.
maybe curiosity killed the cat. the kitty kat ;)
haloween themed party - but everyone was wearing more kinky rather than fancy dress.
i was slightly nervous about how the atmosphere was going to be. i thought due to the sexual nature that it was going to be quite predatorial, quite alpha male charged and a bit aggressive or competitive. but they have very strict rules and enforcing them.
so only women can do the approaching and only women can initiate stuff. and no means no. it was extremely safe, extremely well managed.
there is something about entering a room where people leave social norms and pre-conditions judgement at the door. and they are allowed to wear whatever they want and behave however they want. the Freedom of expression of one individuality is very powerful. in the same way that I feel a certain energy at glastonbury from 250,000 people being allowed to dance and express themselves freely, i felt the same when i entered the dancing room at this party.
with DJs and tables and sofas, fire shows and dancing shows, this was the room where a club would just be the same.
the second room was the dungeon. Bdsm was practised and watched here. unfortunately, I found it disappointing how the stereotypes were played here: most guys that were doms (dominating) just had women subs (submissive). so there was a lot of ropes, spanking, whipping. there was no screaming. a lot of people watching on the sides. everything was very civilised with a dungeon master supervising everything.
the third room was the playroom. people here played - a bit light touch BDSM but mostly sex. guys with girls, mostly. sofas on the side for watchers and in the middle for people liking being watched.
and then, the there was the secret room. the orgy room. this was a small room, maybe 3 by 3 meters. with a lot of people in there. doing a lot of things. everything that you can thing of, together, all in a tight small space. the atmosphere was electrifying.
I went there to watch, learn, meet some like minded people and especially learn more about BDSM. I found quite a few guys who are doms and shared thoughts and feelings with them. I felt natural and at home there. accepted and not judged for who I am and what I like. talking to like minded people, talking freely about sex and about pleasure made me feel liberated. it's a adrenaline rush that lasted 2 days. it felt like a natural high. due to the sensory stimulation, the informational load, the experiences and the visuals that I took in.
I didn't do anything. with anyone. somehow. I didn't know what to expect, but i thought that if i see other people engaged in having sex live, in front me, that I can touch... i thought that i might also want to join in.
instead, i was just focused on my BDSM experience. i didn't find a sub guy, unfortunately. i wanted to, but would have also been quite shy to perform in front of so many people.
the intimacy to which I dominate a guy was lacking there and couldn't tell you if I liked that or not. I still quite like the one to one experience, even if it involves whipping someone.
anyway, somehow my brain was not in the zone. with all the sex around, I was just not interested. it was almost because it was there, so readily available that I didn't want it.
maybe because it was my first experience, i don't know. I want to go to more and see how things are different. it's definitely something that I expected to struggle with a lot more. but i loved it.even if I didn't get involved. but being around freedom is never enough. freedom is never overrated.
