So thought I'd put together a few rules that I found during my dating experiences. I think these are quite useful to jot down to remind myself sometimes.
1. Guys will normally go for drinks at a first date – this is because they want to keep it light and casual, so you can get out of the dating situation after one Drink, in case things don’t go very well. This totally makes sense and is a very practical approach.
Last one: There are always exceptions to the rules – that’s why we are all individuals and unique. All I am talking about here are trends and generalising. Make sure that the guy being an exception to these rules is right for you and that you are not just happy to date the guy just for being “different”.
1. Guys will normally go for drinks at a first date – this is because they want to keep it light and casual, so you can get out of the dating situation after one Drink, in case things don’t go very well. This totally makes sense and is a very practical approach.
2. A first date will normally be during the weekday – this is when you both live in the same city - again, this relates to both of you being able to get out of the date easily if it doesn’t go very well, because you have work the next day. Dates that take place in the weekend are a bit more complicated because the guy might take the girl home, expect to be invited in, being awkward in the morning after and spending too much time together, without actually Knowing each other.
3. Most guys either play it cool or are cool – don’t expect them to text straight after a date, be in touch all the time because they either don’t want to seem too clingy or are simply not that bothered because guys don’t really develop attachment and feelings as quickly as girls can – it takes them a significantly longer time to generally care.
4. Does the guy like me? – this is one of the hardest questions to answer. This gets harder the more a girl likes the guy because her judgement is impeded by subjectivity (you want the guy to like you and your mind will make-up reasons to make that seem true). One simple way for me to establish this is: is the guy putting in the effort? Is he replying to texts quickly? Is he arranging dates? Normally guys are go getters and will chase if they like the girl. There are exceptions, where the guy is shy or insecure and you just have to deal with those on a one to one basis and decide if you want to even be seeing that type of guy.
Normally, also asking the guys - if they are interested in seeing each other again, if they liked you etc also works. A lot of girls find it hard to ask that because of course you are opening yourself up for being hurt, but honesty and knowing goes a log way for me. At least you know to move on, rather than not knowing.
Normally, also asking the guys - if they are interested in seeing each other again, if they liked you etc also works. A lot of girls find it hard to ask that because of course you are opening yourself up for being hurt, but honesty and knowing goes a log way for me. At least you know to move on, rather than not knowing.
5. Forget about the "no sex on the first date" or "no sex before monogamy". It's rubbish.
I'm not saying sleep around on your first date with everyone. But use your common sense. If you're having a great time and the sex just flows naturally and so it happens that it's the first date, don't worry too much about it. Guys don't judge girls like girls judge other girls. The guy will want to see you again because of your personality, if you made an impression on him not because you had or didn't have sex on the first date. In fact, if he wants to see you again and you already had sex, then you definitely know he likes you for who you are, not just to get sex.
99% of my sex on the first date have been guys wanting to see me again.
6. If you met on an online dating site, guys appreciate girls asking to meet in person rather than have long online conversations. Since visual stimulation is important for a guy, seeing a girl in person is much better than engaging into verbal chit chat. Chemistry is second to none so you could be chatting to days, weeks and months but when you actually meet, things can just fall apart very quickly due to lack of chemistry. The guy will also be more interested in conversation if he sees the date and is physically attracted to the girl.
Last one: There are always exceptions to the rules – that’s why we are all individuals and unique. All I am talking about here are trends and generalising. Make sure that the guy being an exception to these rules is right for you and that you are not just happy to date the guy just for being “different”.
