Once upon a time, when Lila was a littler girl, she became obsessed with all cold drinks. First it was the condensation on our soft drinks, and then we transitioned to Jamba Juice smoothies. Pretty soon, we introduced our family’s favorite summer sipper- Icees. And slurpees, and freezes. Whatever you wanted to call them, it didn’t much matter. She was in love with the icy cold sweetness, and at about a dollar a piece, they were a cheap and easy treat on a hot day. I have given her far more Icees in her short little life than I would care to admit. Somewhere along the line, the differences between Jamba Juice whole fruit goodness and sugar-filled-crushed-ice got blurred, and she decided Icees/Slurpees were called smoothies, too. It wasn’t something we did intentionally, but my GOODNESS does it make me look like a better mother.
Like when went to a Tinkergarten class once, and kids were asked to name their favorite food. “Smoothies!” Lila Proclaimed, to the smug nods of approval from the rest of the (very crunchy) group.
Or when we finished up at playgroup, and Lila proclaimed that her mama loved her so much she was going to take her to get a smoothie. The other moms looked at me with a touch of admiration, like, “Man, I should give my kids more fruits and vegetables.” And in my head I’m like yeah, and so should I.
One time, a mom at the park was passing around a little container of kale chips. Abe happily helped himself to some, but Lila looked at them in disdain. “Sorry, I don’t care for kale chips. I’m saving room for a smoothie later.” The mom beamed and said, “hey, that’s what I had for breakfast!” Lila’s eyes grew wide, and she turned to me and said, “I want that for breakfast tomorrow TOO!”
A few weeks later, the dentist told Lila that she should avoid sugar from here on out. “Do Smoothies count as sugar?” she asked. The dentist shot me a wink. “A little, but I think you’ll be fine.”
If only she knew.
Because do I correct her?
Hell. To the. No.
So if you see Lila out in the world, and she mentions that she’s jonesing for a smoothie, don’t let us fool you with our lies about nutrition and fiber and wholesome treats. We’re heading out for sugar.
And lying about it- but only kind of.