I'm not sure if Lorraine is still on ITV in the mornings. It seems like she's been gracing our screens for many years. I'm at home this morning, although I'm not really supposed to be, and the pull of the sofa, and the TV, are great. Long gone are the days when the sofa was my makeshift office. Longer gone are the days when the sofa was my study area for university. I can still remember being propped up with cushions with an old Pentium Laptop running Windows 2000 on my lap and a long modem cable running to the wall. My grandfather would complain when he rang our house and found the phone constantly engaged. He would ring repeatedly because eventually it cut my connection off and he could get through.
Work has been tough since our return from America. Its been tough because the holiday was so good and, in contrast to it, work isn't. Even checking hundreds of emails and lots of voicemails was a huge psychological challenge.
THe holiday though - it was as close to perfection as I can imagine life gets. Days were spent travelling large open roads to places we've never been before. We spent weeks watching the rich landscape of thick forest and quaint wooden houses pass us by; undulating hills, valleys and mountains filled with moose, elk and deer. People were so grounded, friendly and hospitable and were a far cry from the American stereotype. Leaving New England was a wrench. If I'd visited there ten years ago then I would have been making plans to emigrate.
Life goes on though, and reality tolerates only a minor excursion from it. I make it sound like I have a torturous existence, but its not true. I am chasing my dreams and, as they near reality, it becomes more difficult. The path becomes steeper but the prize becomes greater. Nobody forced this on me and I can stop at any time. My only criticism about myself is that I view personal success as a success for only a short while. Soon I'm chasing some other dream. I hate that I'm never satisfied with my lot, never happy and never contented enough to just sit here and watch Lorraine - if she's still on.
