2012-02-12 23:53
My blog posts are necessarily short these days because all I have with me in this hospital is a phone, and that doesnt give much scope for epic essays.At 2pm today I have the psych teleconfe… Read More
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2012-02-09 02:26
I am a "voluntary" patient in my local country hospital. I say voluntary, but should I try to leave, I will be detained and moved to the Big House With Locked Doors.I have no idea how long I… Read More
2012-02-05 00:26
You know you've done something right when you get a hater. It means you've told the truth.The only hater I've had up til this morning was a loooong time ago, back in the day of compani… Read More
2012-02-04 03:56
Eden has started her own meme, from her own brain! Who am I to resist? Some sort of self-centred arrogant know-it-all slunk down in a cesspool of self-pity?Here is my handwriting, in all its… Read More
2012-02-02 05:51
There is no doubt that if I didn't have kids, I wouldn't be here right now.I hate that I have kids. That they stop me.I hate my existence. Its not a life. I exist. I get up, I breathe, I go… Read More
2012-01-31 12:47
When I was in hospital for alcohol withdrawal, I was put on a drug called Campral. This is supposed to stop all craving for alcohol and assist greatly in creating permanent abstinance… Read More
2012-01-28 03:49
Milligrams, that is.Not even halfway to the therapeutic dose.And I appear to be awake and alive and this wont do at all because there is the fetal position to assume and the intrusive though… Read More
2012-01-27 01:18
Really, I should watch what I say, for it will surely come and bite me on the ass. A 24 hour turnaround is rather sudden ass-biting though.I made a comment an another blog yesterday, about h… Read More
2012-01-27 01:18
Did I say quandry?I meant "darkest pits of hell I just want to die because nothing is safe and what is the point in continuing I feel so disgusting I wish I could scrub this off me" despair… Read More
2012-01-16 02:55
When my kids were babies, I did co-sleeping with them off and on as screaming dictated. I have such a clear memory of holding a tiny Felix, marveling at the smallness of his hands and wonder… Read More
2012-01-15 01:07
zyprexa, as it is wont to do, had me put on 20 kilos in a few short months. After a week without it I have already lost the ravenous appetite that lead me to eat cream straight from the tub… Read More
2012-01-14 11:23
A Simpsons' reference for every occasion, including me losing my tiny little mind. I wake to blankness. Probably what the big wigs would call "loss of affect". I feel nothing. I want n… Read More
2012-01-14 06:02
And now for the newest poison on the block, Lamotrigine.An anti-epileptic, known overseas (and sporadically known here) for its kickass ability to knock the crap out of Bipolar Depression. N… Read More
2012-01-13 09:54
If I were to get a divorce (might happen), and heaven for-fend I should meet someone else that I liked (wont happen) should I just get them to read this blog first?Who can be bothered rehash… Read More
2012-01-10 05:48
Joint shrink session today, me and hubby.Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."Thou must have nought to do with the other!" cried the shrink.Nice to have someone official-like to confi… Read More
2012-01-09 21:32
June 7th it was. Now its January 9th. That makes it 6 months. 6 months sober. I could have sworn it was longer.Over the holidays I’ve discovered the joy of “alcohol removed… Read More
2012-01-08 12:27
We now resume our normal broadcast.Within 24 hours of stopping the Lithium, I could function normally. No more catatonia! conversations! Ability to write!It didnt last long.Lithium was follo… Read More
2011-08-25 14:10
I doubt The Verve were singing about Lithium, but they may as well have been.Tomorrow I see my gp to tell her I Say NO to Lithium. I have only become able to write now through taking a… Read More
2011-08-17 14:26
I am cotton wool brain.I am thoughts stuck in a whirlpool unable to get out.I am words on the tip of my tongue.I am apathy. I am lead.I am sleep.I am nothing Read More
2011-08-10 06:09
When I was a kid, I was tall and skinny. My long legs meant I could run faster than any of the other kids and hence always won the 100m races at school. My only body-image issues… Read More
2011-08-03 15:57
Its statistically half way through my life.1It is the angle in degrees for which a rainbow appears.2It is the height in inches of unicorns.3It is the answer to life, the universe and everyth… Read More
2011-08-02 14:07
Psychiatrists suck.Psychologists suck.Not all of them, granted. There are some out there who do their jobs properly. I met one psychiatrist the other day who seemed quite compete… Read More
2011-08-01 11:56
I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder dreadfully. I do exceptionally well on lovely sunny days and want to kill kittens on miserable overcast days. I'm a "Fuck winter in the… Read More
2011-07-28 15:54
Hope.It has been my life-raft for the last three years.After events of this week, it is fair to say that I am now treading water on my own. I feel physically ill thinking about it. Not by th… Read More
2011-07-26 14:08
A wonderful friend of mine has been here this week helping me out.She asked Felix if he thought mummy had changed at all since coming home from hospital.I immediately stopped what I was doin… Read More
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