How to Stop Torturing Yourself with Meaningless Actions

Yes! How to stop torturing yourself with meaningless, mindless actions and endless lists of goals, resolutions and to do lists that usually get forgotten and neglected pretty soon after they were conceived. Since it’s January, everyone is talking about New Year’s Resolutions. There are many programs claiming they can help you achieve all your goals. Don’t get me wrong, I like good motivational programs with messages that help me keep on track, I love accountability and I am a very goal oriented person. But I can also learn from my failure. Over the past few years I realized what works in terms of goal setting and what doesn’t. It’s not only about the magic phrase: New Year’s Resolutions. It’s about steady progress.  If you are looking for a fresh approach to achieving your goals without feeling too overwhelmed or tempted to quit, read on!

Is it only about the New Year’s Resolutions?

First of all, I honestly don’t understand all the excitement behind the phrase: New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s more like a catchy marketing line (not always but in many cases- yes). Personally, I set my goals daily, weekly and monthly. Not only at the end of the year. And yes, the end of the year makes me reflect on myself and different areas of my life. I usually try to spend the first days of January in deep meditation and contemplation and escape from all the “New Year’s Resolutions” fuss. I want to find my own way.

Statistics don’t lie. Most people don’t even take action towards their goals. My gym gets crowded at the beginning of January. Then, gradually, it goes back to normal. People quit.

You see, working on our goals and our self-growth or holistic personal development (here I refer to working on your body, mind, and soul so that you can improve all areas of your life) should not be limited entirely to the first days of January.

Of course, if this particular date motivates you to make change and it excites you, go for it. Maybe you can join some inspiring mastermind group, or create your own.

All I want to show you is how to actually work towards positive and empowered change throughout the year.

So again, since I set my goals on a monthly basis and then I divide them into weekly and daily goals, and I also have a clear vision for my life, going through the process of “New Year’s Resolutions” is just like creating the next step for myself. I go through my regular process.

What I have learned about goal setting/ achieving and how it can help you too.

Be sure that the goals you set up for yourself are actually your own goals, not someone else’s goals.

It will take some time to realize what you really want in life. Don’t rush, take your time. Keep asking yourself: how do I actually wanna live? What are my core values? What can I do today to get closer to my vision? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself questions, even if you feel stuck. If you really have no directions in life, don’t judge yourself, many people are in the same situation. Personally, I have been there as well. What helped me was getting started on numerous practices that would help me work on my body, mind and soul (physical activity, reading, meditation, prayer, taking up new hobbies, traveling).

Think of different areas of your life.

All of them are equally important and I always say that if we want to think in a holistic way, we can’t focus on creating success in just one area of life. Trust me, sooner or later, you will begin to feel unfulfilled or unhappy. So think how one area of life connects to another. For example, if you create vibrant health and physical energy, how can other areas of your life change in a positive way?

There is one exception from that rule though (there are always exceptions and nothing is set in stone)-if you feel like you have been neglecting one area of your life for a substantial period of time, go and fix that part first. This does not mean that you will ignore other areas of your life. It’s simply about bringing balance where there is an imbalance. For example, if you are in debt- try to fix it first. Still, this does not give you the green light to eat unhealthy food and stop working on other areas of your life like, for example, your relationships. It simply means that most of your efforts and goal setting should be focused on fixing what you need to fix first. Otherwise, you won’t be able to create progress with other things.

Write meaningful and purposeful goals that are aligned with your vision for life.

If you feel like running marathons won’t change your life, think of something else. Think of something that excites you. Like I said in the intro, it should be about your own goals, not someone else’s goals. Try to make it juicy, for example, instead of saying/writing: workout 5 times a week, you can say/write: create fun workouts, with music I love and invite my friends. Think of activities you enjoy. There is no point in forcing yourself to do something just for the sake of doing it. Your goals should serve you as stepping stones to get you closer to your vision. For example, you could have a goal to make 5 million bucks. You could close yourself in your office for the next few years and maybe achieve that goal, but if you end up feeling sick and tired, with no real purpose behind amassing that money, you may end up miserable and you will eventually spend that money on healers to get where you were before really. To sum up, it’s better if you say: I want to achieve this and that so that I can do/be/or have this and that. Thanks to doing this exercise, you will be able to set good goals. Yes, good for you.

Also, sometimes you don’t need to have a deep why. Sometimes it’s enough to have your “what for”. Simplicity is the key.

Fuse yourself with your goals.

This is what I have learned only recently. For example, you could say: I will easily achieve this and that by the end of (add the deadline) and it’s great to have deadlines. But in my case, I noticed that I would very often distance myself from my goals and vision instead of fusing myself with them. So now, I say and write all my goals in the present tense and I express my gratitude. I imagine I have it now. Yes, this is the Law of Attraction stuff, but it won’t work unless you take action. Which brings us to the next step.

Always take action.

Nobody else will do it for you. Take meaningful and purposeful action, if you are not too sure what to do, or you feel you are not on the right track, step back, re-define your vision or change it, re-align yourself moving forward and start again. When I say: take action, I am not saying we should be busy just to be busy. First of all we should be living our lives. We are alive and this is the greatest gift.

Write your goals down. Yes!

Plus if you can write them down daily and combine it with affirmations and gratitude, you will find yourself in 5% (or less) of society. Very few people are willing to do this step. But you need to keep reminding yourself where you’re going. Your brain will always try to find excuses. By writing your goals down, you set yourself up for success and you are more prepared to deal with bad days and difficult moments. This is what I do and this is what works for me. And yea, I also have my bad days, but I learned to be grateful for them, or at least I try…

Personally, I believe that working on my body, mind and soul, guarantees holistic success. What is holistic success? I talk about it in my audio course: Motivation: Get and Stay Motivated

It’s about achieving your goals, your very own goals and making progress in all areas of your life so that you get happiness, joy, love and abundance. MY biggest motivator is contribution. I am also passionate about the process of achieving my goals and becoming a stronger person. Why? Because what you learn in the process of achieving your goals, or the gifts you share with others, is something nobody can take away from you. Pretty cool, eh? This feeling gives me amazing sense of freedom.

So, if you haven’t done it yet, write down all your goals now. But don’t make them only about weight loss or financial goals. Include categories like lifestyle, fun, social, spiritual and be the creator of your life. Don’t overdo your goals lists (I have been guilty of it last year, lol). Less is better.

Finally, here’s the book I recently read and it has helped me start this year on a good, positive, meaningful track. The best part of this book is actually its end…I resonated with this author 200%. If you have previously read some of my books or the article on the Law of Attraction, you will know why. I hope you will enjoy it.

If you are new to setting goals and would like to know my simple process, grab my book:

Finally, please let me know your favourite tips and strategies. What do you personally do to get closer to your dreams?

Post a comment below and let me know.

I would love to hear from you!

Link to this post: A Holistic Approach to Goal Setting (and Achievement)