During the latter quarters of last year, I had unofficially committed to goals which were religiously abode. I took a 15-minute workout (at night given my sleeping pattern), learned french (which I’m still currently in progress), listed new American English vocabulary terms, and read American and British literature from renowned writers. Because the use of communication gadgets less interest me, I took the time to mark the days I have achieved so on my planner. I’m aware that all compulsions, addictions and habits start in conscious premeditation of actions, reason for the staunch note taking.

This year has given some sense of direction to provide reasons for my doing. Now that the first set of habits were established, I added a few more on the list by widening my education. I intend to partake and rectify an already solid principle by Studying biographies of national and foreign personalities, and by studying philosophy, sociology, theology, applied physics and biochemistry (a degree I have invested in for many years). I crave to satisfy my hauteur taste for bountiful menu, hence, I started cooking again.

Another tenet that fascinates me since are sartorial artistry, painting, sketching and Music, which could maybe wait for another year. At an early age, I have indulged in these things, a world I have created for myself when family’s financial premises limited my capacity to explore. A loving Aunt who had passed away few years ago, taught me the fiddling and sewing which I have applied so on old garnished garments my grandmother kept (without her consent of course) to a scarred vodoo-like dolls among my collections. Her masterful music degree taught me the once tingy vocal orientations, that eventually had grown musty because of smoking.

Growing up, I dreamt of bigger things. I studied relentlessly not because of those dreams but because I have to get scholarships. I heard one say, “I have to do what I have to so I could do what I want to” When I mature realizing that this world is not a wonderful orb of delight, those dreams changed to philosophies. I guess, life truggles lead you to an end and start of your lifetime. You decide the only 2 opposing geographies that exist—the good and the bad pursuits. Your bad actions cannot justify good intentions. Your good actions cannot justify bad intentions. It is always just either one of both.

Today, I have heard the passing of a good friend. His milestone made me question further my own.

Filed under: Artifacts of Views and Portfolio Tagged: blackwidow, Lifetime, Purpose