2016-11-18 20:19
The inaugural Royals In Need fundraiser has reached £389m in
its first ever year, which has easily surpassed the clearly pointless annual
Children in Need campaign.
The Royals, wh… Read More
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Exiled Jedi Knight, sticking two fingers up to the force and blogging about serious and mindless crap. Enjoy it or F*** Off
2016-11-11 21:18
Do you hate democracy? Are you fed up of being given a free
vote at elections? Are you one of those people that will protest just because
the result of an election hasn’t gone your way… Read More
2016-10-28 16:07
Guilty but unpunished war criminal and serial liar Tony
Blair has stated the government should run continuous referendums on Britain’s
EU membership until we arrive at the result that… Read More
2016-10-22 16:10
Groper, nutball and presidential wannabe Donald Trump has stated he
will declare war on Zombies, Cat Videos and the Jedi Empire, should he somehow win
the upcoming American election… Read More
2016-10-19 19:04
Employees at Rushcliffe Borough Council are to be sent for
brain scans, forced to undergo intelligence tests and checked to see if they
are actually human following their decision to impose… Read More
2016-10-06 20:40
Former, current and future UKIP leader Nigel Farage has
finally been unmasked as a Sith Lord.
The world’s most famous wide-mouthed frog, who has made
resigning from his role as… Read More
2016-06-28 13:20
Conservative MP and best friend of the NHS Jeremy Hunt is to
offer voters a best out of three referendum and promised to respect the wishes
of the winner, so long as it’s the result he… Read More
2016-06-27 14:32
Beleaguered Labour
leader Jeremy Corbyn is set to appoint a shadow cabinet that will shadow his
new shadow cabinet in the event that members of his new shadow cabinet resign
from the n… Read More
2016-05-23 19:07
Chancellor George
Osborne has delivered his starkest warning yet in relation to the EU
referendum, by warning that a vote to leave the union will ultimately
result in your death.
Self-con… Read More
2016-05-23 18:36
It's been a while, but
The Fed Up Jedi is returning to annoy your computer monitors, mobile
phones and whatever devices you use to read this crap.
I've not been able to
put anything on… Read More
2012-12-23 21:19
Manchester United legend, all round good guy and threat to
all women who refuse sex with him Robin van Persie, is recovering tonight after
Swansea’s Ashley Williams attempted a blatant… Read More
2012-12-18 20:45
The Grim Reaper Service (GRS) have given humanity a glimmer
of hope that we may yet be spared Armageddon after senior officials admitted
they are ill prepared and are suffering from a severe… Read More
2012-11-26 14:19
Almighty God, father to everyone, Lord Forgiver
and Managing Director of Heaven, has announced he is stepping down at the end
of the year to spend more time sitting on his backside and watch… Read More
2012-11-16 14:15
Low turnouts for the first Police Commissioner Elections
across the country have been blamed on a variety of reasons, ranging from poor
media coverage to a high possibility of an alien attac… Read More
2012-11-15 16:01
Following the ban on spending time alone with his own
children, Freddie Starr now faces fresh allegations after some newspapers
and Internet sites reported him being classed as an entertaine… Read More
2012-11-14 21:57
This evening, Joe Hart crashed to a 4-2 defeat in Sweden
despite leading 2-1 at half time thanks to some absolutely shocking
goalkeeping, woeful defending, abysmal in midfield and even less… Read More
2012-11-14 19:59
As I don’t get paid a thing for
writing this blog, I need a day job and today, my esteemed employers asked me
to write a job advert for one of my colleagues who will be going on matern… Read More
2012-11-14 15:05
Thousands of men across the country are celebrating the
impending doom of civilisation and the end of humanity as we know it as
Armageddon 2012 will give them a valid and reasonable excuse n… Read More
2012-11-13 13:35
The size of Prime Minister David
Cameron’s testicles have been brought into question as top Tory MP’s claim he
just hasn’t got the balls to make big decisions.
Followin… Read More
2012-11-12 22:09
Are you a terrorist or thinking of becoming one? Have you
plotted to make bombs and kill innocent people? Are you now on the run from
your own government? If the answer to any of these is ye… Read More
2012-11-12 22:09
1980’s puppet favourites Sooty and Sweep have finally come
forward and revealed how they had suffered abuse for years at the hands, and
quite often the cock, of late paedophile Jimmy S… Read More
2012-11-11 10:47
The eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh
month 1918 - The day the guns on the battlefields of Europe fell silent. Today
we honour those fallen in the two Great Wars.
Whate… Read More
2012-11-08 16:25
A newly discovered planet, which is supposedly capable of
supporting human life, has been targeted for invasion by the American government
who suspect any inhabitants may have Weapons of Mas… Read More
2012-11-07 11:07
Prime Minister David
Cameron has spoken of his delight at Barack Obama’s presidential victory and
says he is looking forward to continuing the ‘special relationship’ betwee… Read More
2012-10-28 22:22
Referee Mark Clattenburg has finally graduated from the
Howard Webb Academy of Biased Refereeing after an impressive display at
Stamford Bridge allowed him to pass with top marks this aftern… Read More
2012-10-27 12:12
Pippa Middleton’s arse, the stand out performer at the Royal
wedding in 2011, has launched its first book ‘Celebrate’ today, proving once
again that it, and not Pippa Middl… Read More
2012-10-27 08:00
The Queen today visited Drapers Academy in Romford and was
treated to a lunch from a menu which included Lamb and dauphinoise potatoes,
and asked “Is this really what the peasants eat?… Read More
2012-10-23 17:02
It’s hard to believe that exactly one year ago, a
devastating earthquake struck Manchester, dislodging over 60,000 football
supporters from their seats while millions across the globe… Read More
2012-10-22 20:54
Let’s face it, the world is full of dickheads, wankers and
tosspots. But that’s enough about the British Parliament, let’s discuss some of
the worst people who, in all hone… Read More
2012-10-21 21:26
Lord Ian Blair, former head of the Metropolitan Police, has
urged the British public to vote for Gotham City police Chief James Gordon in
the upcoming elections, mainly because the public kn… Read More
2012-10-19 12:40
It is a very well known fact that Manchester City, current
Premier League Champions, have ruined football but little is known about the
extent of the damage that this disgraceful club has ca… Read More
2012-09-25 20:03
Unless you have been living in the real world, you will no
doubt be aware that Armageddon 2012 is just around the corner. In three months
time, you me and everyone else will be stone cold de… Read More
2012-09-03 11:41
Supermarket giants Asda have admitted they are suffering a
severe shortage of cheesy wiggles after several customers complained they could
not buy their favourite snack from any Asda stores… Read More
2012-08-30 13:54
New Queens Park Rangers signing Julio Cesar is to become the
first Premier League player in history to be tested for drugs before even playing
a game for his club, following his claims that… Read More
2012-08-28 09:52
The Taliban have declared war on absolutely anything that
could potentially improve the quality of life for people in Afghanistan,
including having fun and women being allowed to be classed… Read More
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