HR: There are two projects.

Me: ok. Enlighten me.

HR: I’m not sure of the pay, but it’s going to be somewhat like a barter system.

Me: What? I’m sorry. That’s not acceptable.

HR: I mean, you shall gradually be rewarded and also it will pay off for a life time. This opportunity doesn’t come easy to all.

Me: Please go through my resume once again. I need a high paying luxurious job where my lazy ass doesn’t need to do extra work or extra time.

HR: Give it a try. The projects are intriguing and the ROI is pretty high.

Me: Lifetime? Okay. But do I get leaves and bonuses?

HR: Well, that’s quite subjective, but I know you will Love this job.

Me: ok, I’m curious, what if I don’t like it and wish to quit?

HR: it’s not the end of the world, but if you leave this job you shall have to leave everything else behind and I’m afraid I may not be able to Assist in future. You are free to start afresh!

Me: Okay, so what is the designation? let me see the papers and….

HR: hold on…. Aaah……

Employer: Here, two lifetime projects. Only yours. No interference.

Payouts: love, hugs, kisses, stress, migraines, bursts of aggression, surviving on leftovers.

Leaves: not until you die!

Paid leave: if the HR assists you may handover said projects to senior employees for a few days.

Designation: Mom.

Good luck. You are hired.

me: But, I haven’t signed.

Employer: Well you had sex. And I wasn’t looking for a trainee.