A long time ago they decide to introduce so-called Bendy Buses to London. What a big mistake that was.

First of all, they were not suitable for London's narrow roads but most importantly nobody was paying a fare.
Hop in Hop out.

When the authorities realise the non-paying issue, they recruited 150 people to catch people like us. They give them a fancy name. Revenue Protection Officers.

RPO's mean business.
They tried every trick in the book.
Tried to surprise people, catch them red-handed.
They hide behind bus stops, jump on a bus just before the doors close.

The trick was to keep an eye on the next stop.
When you see the Revenue Protection Officers you jump off the bus before they get in. Once they were in you pray that bus gets to next stop before they got to you.

Sometimes people used to get caught before they got to you. That was a mixed feeling though. You are happy being safe but feel for the fellow fee dodger.

Let's say you managed to get away for some time but your luck turned and got caught.

The first thought is "Even if I get fined, I am still in profit." Total unpaid fees £118, fine £60. right?

Not really.!

You should never give up.

So you give them some made up name, address, get your ticket, listen their -be a good citizen, pay your dues- advice and move on.

The secret in this tactic was to look embarrassed, feel bad and acted like you learn your lesson. If you behave cooky etc they insisted on seeing your ID, asking ridiculous questions and sometimes get the police involved.

You made them feel like winners. They got you. Wow. Great job mate. So you can safely move away and let them chase Mr Gregor Samsa.

This one time I and my mate decided to jump on a bus. He had a pass however I told him that I had no bus pass.
He dismissed my point and said " don't be a pussy"

Guess what happened next. I got caught.

So I am in the middle of the bus with my mate getting questioned, all pissed off decided to teach a lesson to my friend and gave his name and address to the officer.

Obviously, he didn't say anything but I could see him getting red and angry. I was feeling good myself at the time.
When he finished with me, the officer turned to my friend and asked for the pass. My smartass mate said that he didn't have a pass and gave my name/address for the fine. Asshole..!

Then one day Boris Johnson got rid off all bendy buses and brought fancy but troubled new routemasters.


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