i have used the treadmill or did a dvd for 18 of the last 20 days. my scale is broken, but i know i was 232-ish or so. and my goal is to be 229-ish by october 1st. i estimate i eat under 2000 cal/day. at this rate, i think i will make that october goal.

and yet i still have that "so what" feeling, that "meh" all around me... this feeling of pointlessness and wanting to give up and thinking that im really just spinning my wheels and doing a whole lot of nothing. WHY do i feel that way? *sigh* strugglin. where's the feel good, dammit?!

im going to go home, and hop on my new used elliptical i got yesterday. i was only able to manage about 5 min last night. that shit is hard. i'll go for 8 minutes tonight.