I’m an impatient person. I absolutely abhor waiting on anything. Baking a cake? I WANT IT NOW!

It’s something I’m learning to control. I’m working on that patience.

That includes the patience on seeing results from working out. I’ve been at it, again, for 2 weeks. 2 so very long weeks. Of course I’m expecting to see results right now. I want my smaller pants to fit. I don’t want to see this muffin top anymore and that back fat? It can begone immediately.

That’s not how life works though, as we all know.

I read an article not too long ago that said it will take at least 6 weeks for you to notice a change in yourself, 8 weeks for those you see on a regular basis to notice, and 12 weeks for acquaintances you see sometimes to notice.

6 weeks for me to notice myself. 6. Weeks.

I’ve been weighing myself on the scale almost daily. It’s becoming a sick obsession really. I know I shouldn’t. I know that by looking at that number as much as I am is only going to disappoint me more and more. That’s not something that I want. When I get disappointed I tend to give up. I’ll just stop. Which is also something I don’t want to do.

One thing I have been doing? Pushing myself. These mornings haven’t gotten any easier and I am no less tired. I always thought once I hit that magic 14 day mark it’d be like “POOF” no more tired. Nooopppe that’s not what’s happening.

Take this morning for instance. It was a rough one. I couldn’t fall asleep last night for anything. It doesn’t help that the big baby of a German Shepherd we have decided that 3 am was the perfect time to cuddle. And not just snuggle up between you cuddle. No, I’m talking stretching her long ass, 95 lb body across the entire bed and everyone on it…including her 50 lb sister who decided my legs made a good bed. There was no sleeping.

I did it though. I pushed through and kept on truckin. It sucked. And it was leg day. Which means squats, squats, and lunges.

Of course I want to be healthy about my weight loss. I gained it and became unhealthy, I need to lose it and be healthy. As I’ve said before I began counting Calories, learning about calorie deficits, and calories burned at the gym.

A healthy amount of weight to lose in a week is 1-2 pounds. There is 3500 calories in a lb. So in order to lose 1 lb of fat you have to burn 3500 calories during the week. Seems like a lot, right?

This is what I found regarding calories you burn in a day naturally. For a man, compute (88.4 + 13.4 x your weight in kilograms) + (4.8 x your height in centimeters) – (5.68 x your age in years). A woman’s equation is: (447.6 + 9.25 x your weight in kilograms) + (3.10 x your height in centimeters) – (4.33 x your age in years).

The American Council on Exercise notes that the Mifflin-St. Jeor equation is more accurate. For a man, compute (9.99 x your weight in kilograms) + (6.25 x height in centimeters) – (4.92 x your age in years) + 5. For a woman, compute (9.99 x your weight in kilograms) + (6.25 x your height in centimeters) – (4.92 x your age in years) – 161.

Additional, more detailed formulas exist, but they require you to know the percentage of lean body weight you have. Check with your fitness facility or medical provider to have a body fat measurement done. Once you know your Lean Body Mass, the formula for the Katch-McArdle method is: 370 + (21.6 x your lean body mass in kilograms). Another method, known as the Cunningham formula, gives you a slightly higher estimate: 500 + (22 x your lean body mass in kilograms). These formulas apply to both men and women.

The average daily calorie burn rate for a man between the ages of 31 and 50 is 2,200 to 2,400 if he’s sedentary; 2,400 to 2,600 if he’s moderately active; and 2,800 to 3,000 calories if he’s considered active. For sedentary women, also between the ages of 31 to 50, the average calorie burn is 1,800 per day; for moderately active women, it’s 2,000 calories; and for active women, it’s 2,200 calories per day.

So I am a moderately active woman outside of the gym. I have job that requires a lot of sitting, but I also do a lot of running around from one part of the department or hospital to another. So I burn about 2000 calories a day from living. At the gym I burn 400 – 600 calories depending on how intense my workout is. So in a given day I could, potentially, burn 2600 calories. That’s a good day.

That’s great! Almost to 3500 calories. Right? Eh, not quite. Now lets look at eating. I should eat 1200 calories in order to lose weight. That’s it. For an entire day. 1200 calories. The first day I started tracking I ate how I normally eat. Wanna know how many calories I was eating when I thought I was eating smart? Well over 2500. 2500 CALORIES!!! There was a lot of WTFing going on. I couldn’t believe it. That’s when I cut out the fast food, the soda, the ice cream once a day, the pop tarts, the toaster strudels, and the snacking. (God I ate a lot of food…) I log everything.

Now, I eat 1200 calories a day.

Wanna know what?

I’M FUCKING HUNGRY!

I’m learning what’s “smart” to eat and what will fill me up. It’s trial and error. But I keep thinking, in 4 more weeks with this dieting and exercise will I be disappointed like I was when I hit 14 days and was still tired? Will I see some miraculous change in the next few weeks? Will I start to notice the love handles vanishing? Is my ass gonna start looking like an ass and not…well what it looks like now?

I have no idea. But that magic ass fairy needs to visit me.