By Elizabeth Arif-Fear
A few months back I had the pleasure of meeting Tomer Aldubi and was delighted to find out how much we had in common!
A queer Israeli, Tomer has committed himself to fighting antisemitism – and embracing the arts!
Writing his own (first!) play, he’s critically raising awareness of the plight of queer Palestinians in the West Bank and their journeys seeking asylum in Israel.
Sharif: in the closet to outside his home
His debut play “Sharif شريف” is quite unique. It’s a moving drama portraying the real life struggles that LGBTQ+ Palestinians face.
Written and directed by Tomer, the play is based on research and testimonials collected by Tomer whilst working with asylum-seeking queer Palestinians in Israel.
Audiences follow the story of Sharif – a queer Palestinian who is forced to flee the West Bank as a teen, after his sexual identity has been publicly exposed and his life put in danger.
Seeking asylum in Israel, Sharif struggles to survive. Alone, barely able to speak Hebrew and guided by the memory of his secret lover Nour whom he left behind, he tries to secure an Israeli residency permit.
The play critically takes us between Sharif’s past and present. Spectators witness interrogations by the IDF regarding Sharif’s application for a permit which drag on for months. We learn about the family crisis following his forced disappearance. And we discover life-threatening encounters with the Palestinian police.
Some of the people that Sharif meets along the way lend him a generous hand. Others however, try to exploit his difficult situation.
Dreaming of reuniting with his love Nour, his fate remains unknown to Sharif. And still, he holds onto a glimmer of hope. Will they ever meet again?
LGBT+ rights in Palestine: a hidden reality
Premiering at Haifa Theatre in 2002, and later touring at Jaffa Theatre, the play runs in Hebrew and Arabic. It’s translated from Hebrew and is now available with English subtitles, as Tomer is looking to host the play overseas.
The next showing of the play in Israel is on 17th October (2023) in Tel Aviv (in Hebrew and Arabic).
Produced in Israel as an independent production, it’s brought together a diverse team/cast of Arab-Israelis, Palestinians and (Jewish) Israelis.
Sharif is therefore not only raising awareness of LGBT+ rights but acting as a meeting point of Arab and Hebrew/Israeli cultures and languages.
It’s in fact the first play to publicly address the situation of LGBTQ+ Palestinians and the challenges that follow seeking asylum in Israel on a large mainstream stage.
Undoubtedly, the struggle of Arab, and in particular LGBTQ+ Palestinians, is a burning issue that is still rarely addressed in public.
Facing social stigma/abuse, prosecution, violence and even death, “Arab LGBT people are viewed as trash by Palestinian society” (M, queer Palestinian).
Research by the Pew Centre states that 93% of the Palestinian population are against homosexuality. Many remain in the closet of fear of repercussions at their hands of family members and the authorities.
In a recent example from October 2022, 25-year-old Ahmad Abu Marhia was murdered in Hebron. He had been waiting in Israel for two years regarding permission to stay and was hoping to relocate overseas after receiving death threats from his family. Hitting the Israeli press first via Mako, the news spread globally.
Across the border in Israel, queer Palestinians can in fact seek asylum in search of safety, with many looking to travel further overseas to countries such as Canada:
“Homosexuality is rejected within the most socially and religiously conservative parts of both Palestinian and Israeli societies, but gay people in Israel can freely lead their lives.”
BBC, 2022
Able to travel to Israel and submit an asylum claim, the process is however not easy. Waiting times are long and until recently, asylum seekers were not permitted to (legally) work:
“They had no access to work, to health care, to welfare services. And so, what we’d see over time is that their situation would deteriorate. These are people who already arrive here traumatized [sic], after being attacked and persecuted”
Naama Sabato, Agudah rights group
The law has however since changed to allow Palestinians who have submitted an application for permission to stay in Israel, to be granted the right to work.
With this a permanent option, as you cannot “go back” due to the risk of repercussions, it’s an often unheard of reality.
Information and discussion about the needs of LGBT+ Palestinians in the Palestinian Territories – and of the possibility of seeking asylum in Israel – is highly stifled, misinformed and at risk of being biased.
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict continues to dominated the public sphere. Accusations of pinkwashing dominate, whilst the topic of Arab-Israelis remains a thorny silenced area, amongst accusations of “apartheid”.
As a result, not only are realities and attitudes in the Middle East not being fairly addressed, but also in Western societies. Yes, we’ve seen – and written about – the same de-prioritisation of human rights regarding women’s rights in the West Bank among the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Sharif therefore offers a unique opportunity to share these stories publicly.
The production, performance of and advocacy surrounding the play has subsequently enabled Tomer to raise much-needed awareness of the issue in Israel and beyond.
So, I spoke to Tomer to find out more about his creative collaborative journey and both reactions to and outcomes of his debut play Sharif!
Here’s what I discovered!
VoS: Hi Tomer! Lovely to talk with you – thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with us.
A key part of your journey to writing Sharif was your experience working in Israeli NGOs supporting Arab LGBTQ+ asylum seekers such as The Different House – البيت المختلف.
What would you say was your “lightbulb moment” that inspired you to write the play?
Do you think it was just a gradual build-up of your experiences, or was there a specific moment where you realised that you really needed to document these kinds of experiences and write a play?
Tomer: I started this as a journalist working for Mako for the last six years, since 2014.
I then wrote an interview in 2020 about the lives of LGBT+ Palestinians. And I was shocked because back then it was not possible for them to get any health insurance or any work permission from the Israeli government.
I interviewed a few LGBT+ Palestinians who were seeking refuge in Israel. It was actually during COVID, so it was the worst time for us and for them also.
They didn’t even have a place to stay [during the lockdown] and it was illegal to be outside. They really faced a very difficult situation.
The thing that inspired me to write the play is to really raise awareness of this phenomenon where Palestinians from the West Bank could get approval from the IDF to stay legally. Legally, these Palestinians got residency but could not work.
I found it so absurd, and I wanted to raise awareness about this unbelievable situation.
VoS: Very interesting indeed. Here in the UK, knowledge is really lacking about the situation of LGBT+ Palestinians seeking refuge in Israel.
Being both queer, you’d imagine that there’d be a sense of solidarity among queer Israelis and Palestinians. But with them being from the West Bank and you being Israeli, it would take a lot of trust for them to allow you be to interview them.
Was there any hesitation? How was the relationship building – given the fact that you were Israeli and they were Palestinian? Or are such relationships more common than we’re led to believe?
Tomer: That’s a good question. There are two parts to that.
The first part is that most of them didn’t really want to talk with me.
Not because I was an Israeli based in Israel. But because they didn’t understand why or how was it going to help them. They already share their story again and again and again because they need to share their experiences with the NGOs that help them, the IDF and sometimes the police.
Why would they want to share this story with an Israeli or a journalist? I remember one of them really didn’t really want to talk. I tried. They really didn’t trust anyone.
Eventually, I convinced them to talk because this was an important story to share. With time, I met more and more Palestinians.
Of course, their names, location and other personal details were changed.
The language was, of course, also difficult. I met with the volunteers of the NGO Different House where I volunteer – both Arab-Israelis and Palestinians.
And it was an Arab-Israeli whom helped me with the translations. He’s an Israeli citizen.
VoS: That’s a really interesting personal experience. It’s amazing that you wanted to highlight and share those stories.
What was the key message that you wanted to bring to the forefront with Sharif?
Tomer: First of all, it was always to talk to Israeli society.
From day one, I understood that I was not able to necessarily change Palestinian and Arab society in Israel. I’m not an Arab and I’m not Palestinian.
I want, or rather felt I needed to make a change within, to resonate with Israeli society. Israeli voters that can help make change.
I also understood that as the play is about LGBTQ+ issues, most of my audience were not going to be Arab. They were going to be mostly Jews and Israelis.
Even though everything was written in both languages [Hebrew and Arabic]. It was important for the play and production process to be inclusive.
We used actors and artists who were both Israeli and Arab and Palestinians. We really did try to bring together both “groups” for this work.
But still, I wanted to raise awareness within Israeli society, at least at the beginning, for them to understand this situation. Because it was… and it is still really under the radar.
They will not talk about it. The IDF will not talk about it. This topic is really under the radar for many reasons, especially now with the new government.
I was also advised not to talk about this, because maybe the new government might change the laws around seeking asylum.
But I wanted people to first at least know about this phenomenon. This small community of many Palestinians that live among us, next to us.
This was the main idea. For me, it was very difficult to bear the fact that I’m living in Tel Aviv and on a street next to me, there’s a Palestinian with no work, with no residency, with nothing.
For these people, it’s a big disaster. And I’d known nothing about it.
VoS: How is the process to get legal permission to stay? It certainly isn’t easy here in the UK.
Would you say the biggest hurdle is once you’ve got status?
Not being able to work is a big obstacle to integration and financial dependence. Or is that secondary to actually getting to Israel in the first place?
Tomer: Actually, the situation has changed. It’s improved a lot.
Since last July, and thanks to the Supreme Court and many NGOs that really worked hard for this, Palestinians can now work legally and also get health insurance from their employers.
To stay legally in Israel, Palestinians would have to talk with an NGO. They first had to flee to Israel.
Now they can apply whilst in the Palestinian Territories.
Back then, once they were in Israel, they talked with an NGO such as The Different House where I volunteer. There aren’t many of these specialised NGOs though.
The NGO talks with the individual claiming asylum to verify their story and then to the IDF. The Palestinians don’t usually liaise directly with the IDF.
They usually are offered permission to reside in Israel for up to six months or maybe less at the beginning. To get a new permission, they need to go to the IDF – to say why they still need to stay in Israel.
It’s better for them, because if they come to Israel and they there illegally without status, they will be sent back to West Bank.
The online process is supposed to be faster to get approval, but eventually they will not be able to stay in Israel permanently. They will not get refugee status.
VoS: Why do you think that is?
Tomer: There is no interest in the Israeli government to have Palestinians as refugees here.
The Palestinians that come to Israel must understand – and I also try to explain to NGOs and other people – that they cannot go back to the West Bank legally. If they do, the permission to stay in Israel will be revoked.
It’s like a one-way ticket. From here, after one year, two years, three years with the help of the UN, they’ll usually move to Canada or Australia.
VoS: So, it’s more of a process rather than about permanency in Israel?
Tomer: Exactly. That’s why it’s important to understand because many people are also critical of this.
I got lots of criticism from many people. It’s important to understand the numbers. 66 LGBTQ Palestinians last year were granted permission to stay in Israel.
The choice queer Palestinians are faced with is: whether is to live in the closet in say Ramallah or Hebron, or flee to Israel and never be able to return to the West Bank.
The deciding factor would be how much their life is in danger.
VoS: It’s weighing up the different challenges.
What would you say is your biggest key message of Sharif that you wanted to get out there? Or is it just simply the existence of these people and their struggle being shared with an Israeli audience?
That alone is a big message!
Tomer: For sure, it was sharing this reality with an Israeli audience.
I also wanted to give hope for queer Palestinians themselves. They were part of the rehearsal. They came to watch the different shows in Haifa where we started and also in Jaffa, where we are now.
I think they got lots more, let’s say, energy or motivation to continue when they understood someone was telling their stories – I mean really telling their stories.
VoS: That’s beautiful. A sense of solidarity indeed!
So, wider reactions… Let’s start with the negative, then the positive.
Were you nervous about putting the play out there? Did you expect that there would be critique, maybe some negative backlash?
Given the topic and the sensitivities, what were you expecting and what was the outcome?
Did you receive any negative coverage or anything that was particularly pertinent that was not positive about you addressing this issue, either from Israelis or Arabs? Be it Jewish Israelis or Arab-Israelis or Palestinians? Or anybody, really – even from outside the region.
Tomer: Yes. I think, first of all, the hardest part is that the play itself was an independent production. I really had to work hard to make sure that this would happen.
It was my first production as a theatre director and playwright. And this wasn’t an easy topic for Palestinians and for audiences in Tel Aviv!
It was also very difficult to find also support from a theatre. However, I’m very happy to say that Haifa Theatre was very supportive.
I moved to Haifa from Tel Aviv originally to learn more about the Arab/Palestinian community there. Tel Aviv is more the hub of LGBT+ Jews, whereas Haifa has a much larger Arab community – including queer Palestinians.
You can hear a lot of Arabic in the streets in Haifa! It’s a beautiful place. A beautiful city.
I was very happy to get help from Haifa Theatre for this production. They were very generous, but I still had to raise money.
So, I started for a fundraising campaign. And this was at the same time of the beginning of the conflict with Gaza in 2021.
I had to publish on social media about the queer Palestinian story while this military operation was happening. It was not easy with the political situation at the time.
I received a lot of racist comments. I was very depressed because many of these comments were from the LGBT+ community outside of Israel.
They were asking why I was helping the Arabs and Palestinians? Why I cared about Palestinians and Arabs?
They said they should go back to the West Bank. That they should not be part of Israel. There was a lot of misinformation and lots of racist comments about Israel. None the less, I eventually managed to raise about 50,000 NIS [around £100,000].
VoS: Oh, wow, that’s incredible. Amazing! What did you say?
Tomer: I asked for funds to cover the production and a team of four actors and designers etc.
Now, every time when I host this play or I get interviewed about it, I’m afraid that maybe there’s going to be a military operation and then the audience will not attend. Or maybe I will get lots of bad comments from the Israeli media etc.
It’s still very difficult today. However, I was very happy to later get approval from the Ministry of Education so this play can be taken to high school students.
I was very happy with that. Now, I’m trying to find some high schools that are open enough to talk about this.
The problem here is not the queer topic (at least in liberal schools) but the Palestinian focus. This is the problem – the combination of talking about the Palestinian community and LGBT+ rights.
VoS: Let’s talk about positive! If you’re getting negative backlash, you’re rushing feathers and that’s good because you’re pushing for change and you’re getting attention.
What are some of the positives in terms of, for example the relationships you forged working with Palestinians during the play – and also Arab-Israelis?
What is some of the positive feedback that you’ve received from inside Israel or the West Bank, even overseas? Perhaps you could talk about things that have happened, some of the changes that you’ve noticed?
Tomer: The positive for sure is that now hundreds of people who’ve seen the play – and maybe thousands who’ve watched the interviews in English, Hebrew and German – are aware of this phenomenon.
Now they know about something they didn’t know before and they can help.
They can volunteer, get involved or donate to help create positive change. Even just by talking about it with their friends and family.
I’m very happy with the comments and opinions I’ve received about the play. They’ve all been very positive, including with the Palestinians that came to watch.
They really connected with this play. Many of them told me the play shed light on a little bit of their lives, so they were very happy for that.
The play shows the support of the parents, the fathers of the Palestinians and also of the Israeli people that try to help Sharif. It shows different characters, and that it’s not a black-and-white situation.
For example, there’s a lesbian character in the play who tries to help Sharif. Sharif’s father is also behaving in a way that audiences may not expect.
The positive is really that people now know about it and they’re talking about it. Since the first long interview back in 2020, alongside fundraising, more and more press inside and outside of Israel have started to talk and write about the play.
I’ve been interviewed in many different places. And it’s a topic that is also being discussed in Parliament.
Last year, the Special Committee on Foreign Workers commented on the reality of LGBTQ Palestinians in Israel. This was after the amended right to work was granted for Palestinians granted a permit to stay.
VoS: That’s amazing! What about Arab-Israelis or Palestinians who aren’t LGBT. What was their reaction? Did they engage positively?
Also, outside of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, there’s a lot of talk about “pinkwashing”.
What were reactions to the play like before and after it was performed in places such as America, Europe and the UK?
Do you think perhaps people changed their perceptions of Israel based on this? In terms of LGBT as a whole or Arab-Israeli relations?
There’s lot of misinformation about Israel – in particular from those not directly impacted or not living there. Did it have any broader effect, outside of the Middle East itself, where people aren’t (so) directly affected?
Did you face resistance from the wider LGBT community outside of Israel? Or was there enthusiasm? What was the general picture outside of the geographical era itself?
Tomer: Not yet. I didn’t suffer from this, but I’m sure I will as I want to hold the play in London, Germany, Norway, in other places. I’m sure I will face this.
The big thing is that I’m an Israeli, I’m a Jew, and I talk about Arabs and Palestinians. I’m gay, so I’m allowed to, let’s say, “talk about” queer issues. But I’m not Palestinian. And I got very mixed comments, very mixed feedback from Arab-Israelis and, Palestinians.
At first, they wanted to collaborate. Recently they however decided not to work together anymore.
I think it’s a matter of time because the people that were involved with the play – the musician, set designer, translator and graphic designer were all Arab. It was a very collaborative and inclusive project.
I believe it will take time also for the play to be shown in another Middle East country or in an Arab city in Israel. It will take a lot of time.
But, there were many Arabs/Palestinians and Muslims who came to watch the play who were in the closet. I’m sure the play also gave them lots of courage.
They came, I guess, alone to Haifa, to Tel Aviv, to other places just to watch this because the play also talks in Arabic [in addition to Hebrew].
About one third of the play is originally in Arabic – it was a conscious artistic decision to not use subtitles. I wanted the audience to understand or try to understand the Arabic from the context and to also feel how Arabs can often feel in a country where Hebrew is the national language [subtitles are available in English when performed for non-Hebrew speaking audiences].
I think that regarding pinkwashing, I can understand why people might say that but I prefer to stick to the facts.
I think that Palestinians here should get asylum status and live here. But regardless, Palestinians that have been coming to Israel over the last 10 years are getting legal permission to stay in Israel. They can then continue their lives in other countries.
In Israel, they get help from the NGOs and also from the Israeli government. There are shelters that Palestinians also can go to for free support.
People might say it’s pinkwashing, but the fact is that Palestinians are now living in Canada, in Australia, in other countries, and they’re starting to have a better life, thanks to the fact they were here for a few years before in Israel.
Even though they wanted to stay in Israel, most of them couldn’t. But at least now they have a new page and they can start their life again.
This is something that we need to understand. People can criticise the State of Israel, but the Israeli government gives status here, the right to work, to get money, to open a bank account, to have a driver’s license etc.
They do face difficulties, including racism from the Israeli community, but they can still live better lives here. They would be murdered in the West Bank.
VoS: It’s been quite a journey for your Tomer! How did you find the writing process?
Did it take longer than you expected? What have you learned about the process? How was it in terms of expectations versus reality?
Obviously, you’ve enjoyed it because you’re writing a second play! When do you think the next one is going to be finished?
Tomer: Well, that’s a good question. It was very difficult to write Sharif because it is a combination of many stories. It’s based on two events, the two stories of people and many Palestinians I met.
At first, I started writing Sharif as a monologue with one character or more characters, but one actor. It then ended up having four actors and many characters.
For me, it was important that the main character was Sharif, the other main character his boyfriend, Nour. However, I also wanted the two characters/actors working together to be Palestinian and Jewish.
It was very important for me so I had to make a slight change in design – this changed everything on stage. This was big: it was another key message: whether Palestinian or Israeli, we are all the same.
We are all human and we have a lot in common! One day you can be Israeli, one day you can be Palestinian.
This is also part of the last monologue by Sharif at the end of the play. You can be Israeli, and you can be Palestinian.
In terms of the process, I think that I wrote and had to delete a lot also. I wrote so much because there are many stories of queer Palestinians out there that I wanted to be included.
So many of the challenges they faced are not within the play. It was difficult for me to put that aside.
What’s more, with the right to work now having changed since the launch of the play, I’m thinking should I change the play? Or keep it as it is and engage with audiences after it’s finished?
VoS: Well, it shows the journey!
Would you say that you’ve developed new or stronger friendships with Palestinians, queer Palestinians, even non-queer Palestinians or Arab-Israelis throughout this whole process on a personal level?
How has this process affected you?
Tomer: Yes, for sure. I am way more involved within the Israeli-Palestinian conflict than I used to be. Way more.
I have Palestinian friends. I studied a little bit of Arabic and hopefully I’ll continue to learn more. I also moved to Haifa. This was a big change for me. I met some gay Arabs in Haifa, and I explored the Haifa community.
So yes, I’m way more involved. And I’m working very hard with this new play on Jewish-Arab mixed couples in Israel.
It’s not necessarily going to be an independent production but it’ll be held in theatres in Israel.
Over 20% of the population in Israel is Arab and there are not enough plays/theatre about them! There are not even enough Arab actors in Israeli theatres.
I’m trying very hard to change that with the new play, because it’s important for me. There are excellent Arab actors in Israel.
If they’re good enough for Fawda and for TV shows and cinema, then they’re also good enough for Israeli theatre. But: we need more people to write about this topic to be people collaborating!
We need to work together – Jews and Arabs. This is what I’m trying to do – bring change.
This is something we need to do together – to share culture together, theatre projects etc. It may not necessarily bring an end to the conflict, but it will at least bring us together in Israel at least.
