Who am I? I find myself asking this question and have been asking for quite some time. What I envisioned at some point when I was younger didn’t think that I would be where I am today. I had dreams that unfortunately went left due to circumstances on my journey to adulthood. During high school I had my plan mapped out and sometimes what you have planned doesn’t always take place. I had my dream of becoming a fashion designer and took the steps with the help of my teacher to help, me along and go straight to fashion design school “FIT”. I had the great opportunity and it was the perfect setting, I actually created my portfolio and went through the process of applying, getting accepted only to not have the support of my then legal guardian. This was the moment I believe I lost exactly the notion of “who I was”. I then decided to be on my own and started working right after I graduated high school. I had to learn responsibility fairly quickly and was able to work and save and get my very first studio apartment.
Adulthood took me on a journey that has led me up to now. I still ask my self this question as I continue to search for a place in my where I know I hit the jackpot of who I am and what’s my purpose. My Qualities of being an introvert and quiet person had me think that those were qualities that would allow me to be in certain fields. In trying to discover who I am, those qualities are not mine alone and I’ve Learned that certain careers are meant for people just like me. My qualities are who I am and I can try to change but would that really be me? Or just me trying to fit into something that I am not. I’ve learned to accept that life took me down this road and molded me into who I am today. What I’ve learned is to look for a place where I thrive being who I am and not trying to fit into a situation where I would not be able to demonstrate the real me.
The question of who am I is what keeps me evolving until I become the best version of myself. Knowing my qualities, knowing my strengths keeps me searching and learning and motivated. Along this journey, I’ve learned to not just accept and settle and still feel a void but to continue to search or maybe even create my own situation in which I can innovate and create my own world where I can thrive and be beneficial to someone by helping. Owning my own business, I feel is the only way I can provide a service to help another fellow human being. I’m slowly discovering that who I am not only has to benefit me but to benefit my fellow human beings. Its to bring a smile to someone’s face or to make someone feel better.
The who that I have slowly developed to be is a person who feels happy by doing something helpful things to someone who maybe just like me. Its to inspire the next person to be the best that they can be and to never give up. Who am I being a question that we should continuously ask ourselves in order to grow and find ourselves. This question really has no answer for me it’s more of a way to open doors and keep walking through them each day. Because of my past and my experiences, I am able to set goals and strive to conquer them. I can now take a look at what type of business would work for me and what I should stay away from based on my personality and character traits. Although I don’t have a chosen position such as being a doctor or lawyer I would love to be an entrepreneur.
Things were so much easier then but I had no idea just how bad it would get. I enjoyed being on my own and being a young an adult. I enjoyed going out and shopping and being a regular 20 year old. Now that I look back I wish I would have done things differently. After graduation and not being able t attend the school that I wanted to I sort of lost track of what I wanted to do for my future. In August of 95, I had my first daughter and it was a blessing but also a major change in my life. Bringing up a child makes things a little difficult. I was a young mother barely an adult myself trying to raise a baby. Having my daughter halted any plans I had for continuing my education. I had to work not only to support myself but she was my top priority and I had to take a step back in the shadows to make her the top priority. In those times this identity questions really didn’t pop in my mind since I was young and life had me so occupied it’s not only you reach a certain age you start to reflect about decisions and the future. I decided to go back to school to try and accomplish something that I didn’t have the chance earlier on to do. I tried a few times before but as I have learned life takes so many unexpected turns that what you plan usually gets updated by different paths along the road.
I am a person who loves to create and can spend hours doing arts and crafts, this is me and who I enjoy being the most. I feel more comfortable at ease and feel free. I always thought art was just limited to only painting in a studio and trying to sell your artwork, although that is just a small aspect of being one. In exploring career options or business options it’s not just limited to that. With the world being more open to technology it opens the door for creative people to be able to do what they love and that is creating a new project. I find myself the happiest when I am creating something brand new. Options are open in different fields such as graphic, video, games, and painting. With my personality, I can combine being creative and loving technology into a service-based business that helps people.
Who am I will continuously be a question that will follow me until I can feel completely at peace and content. As of right now the who that I am is the sum of everything that I went through thus far and will continue on. My ultimate goal in life is to live the best life that I can with love happiness and gratitude. Being able to help with my creativity is something that I hope to provide to society. I hope to inspire someone out there to never give up and keep on going no matter where your life journey goes.
